Weightloss Journey : 7 Totally Doable Weightloss Tips That Actually Work!

New Year, new me? Nope! Same me, but always pushing for greatness! I know with each January many of us make resolutions or short-term goals and fitness may just be one of them. Guess what? I lost 5 pounds already! Yay me! Of course, it isn’t my ultimate goal, but it is an accomplishment! With baby number three I gained 40 pounds and the weight was so easy to gain yet hard to lose. Here we go, let’s get it!

Eat, Eat, Eat- Often we think we need to diet to lose weight and by dieting we tend to eat less. But instead, we should be thinking quite the opposite. Eating frequent small meals and snacks will keep you on track. Most importantly you should not miss breakfast. I know you’re thinking, duh! But for someone like me, breakfast is not my favorite meal, and I must remind myself to eat it. But breakfast is the most important meal, and should be your heaviest meal.

No Excuses– We all have the same 24 hours each day. Of course, how we spend those hours are all different, but we have to prioritize our time. No matter how busy any of us are, we can always find 20 minutes. I know you are probably thinking finding 20 minutes is not that easy. I know, especially as a mom, but we owe that to ourselves to carve out that time. You can even divide your time, maybe 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening.

Strength Train– Cardio is amazing for weight loss, but strength training is like the older sister who knows better. Strength training is hard on the body and exhausting, and literally tears your muscles apart. BUT it will change your body the most, turning the fat into muscle. Remember it is not about how many pounds the weight that you are using is, but simply the repetition that has the most impact. So, start out light, take it slow but serious, and learn the correct form. I currently own 5lb free hand weights and a 10lb kettlebell and they are getting the job done.

Think Ahead- Like most things in life, you are more successful when you plan ahead. This is important for your fitness journey since we usually make not so good healthy choices at the last minute. Maybe you’re like me and not really into meal prepping for the week, so make more of that healthy dinner and enjoy some for lunch the next day! Also pick a time for working out and stick to it. If we sit around waiting for the moment we “feel like it”, we won’t get it done!

Mirror Mirror, On The Wall– Look at yourself in the mirror everyday and study your entire body. If you study your body, you will begin to see subtle changes that does not reflect on the scale. I lose inches easier than I do pounds, so seeing it in the mirror makes me feel good. But each day I look at my entire body and look at what has changed and what I want to change. Remember we must love ourselves through our whole journey or we will never be happy with ourselves.

Research- Reading is fundamental right? As you continue this journey find what works for you, because what works for you may not work for me. Learn how to exercise different parts of your body. Eat right for your blood type or lifestyle. Keep up with your favorite blogger, author, influencer. Sometimes the best motivation is someone else’s journey.

I'm a strong woman I don't sit around Feeling sorry for myself nor let people mistreat me. I don't respond to people who dedicate to me or try to bring me down.If I fall I will rise up even stronger because iam survivor and not a victim. Iam in control of my life and there is nothing I can't achieve.we all need this Attitude😘❤️ Goodmorning Queensandkings Love fitness tights @lotusleggings @lotusleggings @lotusleggings 👉🏾👉🏾👉🏾SEARCH 👉🏾LOVE FITNESS 👈🏾💕💕Use code CONagawa to get 👉🏾50%OFF,Yes 50 OFF💕💕 Am wearing 4x 📷 @tosinphotography #lotusleggings #lovefitness #workingout #blackandehite #lotuslegs #yogapants #tights #workoutgear #plussizeworkout #exercises #

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Step Away- If this journey was easy, I wouldn’t fall off the train so often, lol. But we must make the conscious decision to step away from the things that are not good for us. Making the decision to step away will make it easier to make the best choices. Surround yourself with people who understand and respect your journey. Step away from the numbers on the scale and focus on the journey itself.


The most important thing is to remember to love yourself above all. This journey is not about hating who you are and becoming someone new, but instead loving yourself now! Loving yourself enough to do what is better for your body. Thank you for following my ups and downs with this journey and let’s continue to gain together!

The Fit Phatty

Ja’nay of Mrsphatandnaptural

The Ultimate Guide To Self-care: 25 Acts Of Self-care That Cost You Nothing!

The Oxford Living Dictionary defines self care as such: The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.

In other words the deliberate act of taking responsibility for your own good health and happiness. A while ago I decided that to make a conscious effort to make time for myself. I use to have one way of coping with making myself feel better, shopping! Don’t judge me 😁.

Although I still love shopping I started to realize buying things robs me of the deeper more fulfilling happiness that comes from true soul work. Not to mention shopping can get out of hand and cause an entire set of challenges in itself…but that’s a topic for another blog post. I will say self-care does not have to cost you a thing!

Here are 25 of acts of self-care that will not cost you a thing!

1. Get some sleep- this is the most under estimated act of self-care. It is literally recharging your battery.

2. Veg out- eat an extra serving of vegetables, or if you’re really bout it go plant based one or two days a week.

3. Let it go- release the guilt. Let go of that mistake. Take the lesson as a blessing and throw away the guilt. You can’t get the time back, the money is spent and you are here to live another day.

4. Drink plenty of water- We all know this, but I’m going to say it anyway. Drink your water. It’s nature’s liquid gold. It flushes all the toxins out.

5. Spend some time alone- even if it’s just 10 minutes in the car before or after work. Just sit and breath. Or do whatever it is that makes you happy.

6. Find a short path and take a long walk- slow down take it easy. Don’t rush, give yourself permission to take it slow.

7. Write it out- it could be a journal or it could just be a piece of paper. You can write your goals, your ideas or what ever is on your mind. You don’t need to do anything with it or show anyone just release what’s on your mind.

8. Laugh out loud- God is so amazing! He designed us so wonderfully that just laughing releases endorphins, the body’s natural feel good chemicals. It boosts your immunity and decreases stress hormones. YouTube funny videos or call that friend that you know is going to keep you rolling on the floor!

9. Work it out- head over to YouTube and pull up one of the gazillions of work out videos and get busy.

10. Get your Yogi on- do some yoga. You don’t have to be a pro. Here are some of my favorite yoga poses ( here).

11. Dance and sing get up and do your thing- put on the music and get moving. Listening to music will change the atmosphere.

12. Do some decluttering- this has a twofold affect. The act of accomplishing the decluttering will feel good and every time you see the area you will feel good all over again.

13. Feed your spirit – attend church or what ever your spiritual practice is. Perform that in a group setting. Plug yourself into the collective.

14. Take a long shower- I think this is a conditioning response from my childhood. There was nothing in life that couldn’t be fixed with a bath and warm pjs.

15. Take a long walk- get out and get some fresh air. Put on your headphones or not and just take a walk.

16. Smile all day- just try it. Smile at every person you encounter. Not only will it make your day, but it may change their life.

17. Listen to a podcast – there are podcasts about everything. Find one that you like and cue it up.

18. Smell the roses- burn a candle or a defuser of your favorite scent. Aromatherapy is said to eliminate headaches, boost immunity, and reduce anxiety and depression among other things.

19. Read- read a book, binge on your favorite blog (hint 😜), or magazine. Knowledge is power.

20. Lose the limits- we all have self imposed restrictions that keep us comfortable. Every now and then get out of your comfort zone.

21. Plan a trip- Not saying that you ever have to take it, but plan it. See what events are taking place, check the hotel prices, flight fares, even the sites to see. So just in case you do decide to go wheels up, you already have a budget.

22. Map your vision- set a series of goals and start taking steps towards reaching them. Make a list of 3-5 long term goals and maybe 1 or 2 steps that you can take immediately that gets you closer to those goals.

23. Take a walk down memory lane- look at old photos, reach out to a family member or friend and reminisce about good times.

24. Get dressed- I know you put clothes on everyday, but I mean get dressed up. I tend to save my favorite perfume or certain clothes for special occasions, but sometimes you just have to show up and show out.

25. Affirm yourself- write down or copy & paste positive affirmations and post them somewhere, not for decorations but actually read them. Sometimes I’ll put them in my phone as a pop up. Imagine you are having a tough day and that 11:30 pop up sounds, you pick your phone up and it reads ” Nothing Can Stop You” ! All the way up! Or “Slay Your Day”! And you know you got this!


One of my intentions for starting this platform was to spread love. Gods love and Self love to be exact. As a wife, mother, daughter, and employee, sometimes “me” is the last to get the care and attention that I give everything and everyone else. But that doesn’t serve me or them when I’m running on empty. So I had to learn new ways of caring for myself through lasting acts of self care.

Are you a member of the put me last on the list club? Or do you practice self care? What are some acts of self care  you employ ? Drop a line in the comments.

Best Products For Natural Hair : 5 GREAT STYLERS FOR KINKY HAIR


Hey Curlies, I always get a lot of questions about what products to use on natural hair. Or what did so and so use and why isn’t said product working for me? In this post I will highlight some of the best products for kinky hair and how to use them to get the best results. The photo above is an 8 day old twist out. As you might have guessed the curls were more defined day 1 and 2, but I like it so much better when it gets old. I do not have naturally curly hair, however with the right product and technique curl poppage is definitely attainable.

As far as technique goes. I use the L. C.O method most of the time on freshly washed hair. If you don’t know what the L.C.O method is. It’s a process of layering product on the hair to promote moisture retention. It means Leave-in, Cream (styler), and then Oil. You may have also heard it called L.O.C, this is the same process in a different sequence. I have two other post about my favorite Leave-ins, ( 5 favorite leave-ins) and my favorite oils, ( 5 favorite oils). I have found this is the best way to keep my natural hair healthy and moisturized. Wow so I guess this post is actually be a part 3 to a L.O.C series.

These are not in any particular order, as they are all my favorite and work well on kinky hair. They can all be found at your local big box store such as Target, and also at your local drugstore like CVS or Walgreen’s. Here are my favorite products for making my kinky hair soft and curly:

    • Eden Bodyworks Citrus Fusion Hydrate & Soothe Butter. This product is the over night celebrity staple. If you have a last minute event or date and don’t have time to do a full wash day. This baby right here will give you shinny soft hair that looks as good as freshly washed hair. I must confess I’ve actually never used this product on freshly washed hair. The first time I tried it was on a Friday night, to do a quick twist and rod on my bangs for an early morning meeting. I didn’t expect much, and boy was I pleasantly surprised. It smells amazing and it’s very thick as you can see. It’s called a butter but it’s definitely creamy. I had a nice soft hold with great definition.
  • Design Essentials Almond & Avocado Curling Creme.  This is one of my favorites for colder months. The Almond & Avocado are super moisturizing and smell great. I’ve gotten great results on twist outs, braid outs, and even to smooth my hair to do goddess twists. It can be used about every other day to re-twist as well. It leaves your hair very soft, and gives the curls a medium hold. Did I say it was extremely moisturizing?
  • Curls Blue Berry Bliss Twist -N- Shout Cream & Curl Control Jelly. This one is as versatile as they come. This combo works for twist outs, braid outs, twists,and even wash n go’s. I’m not to fond of the smell, but it does work very well. It gives a firm hold that lasts for days, and no flaking. This one didn’t leave my hair as soft as the previous products, but the style lasted longer with very little maintenance. The curl control jelly is one of the best gels with all natural products. Both can be used alone, but work best for me as a combo.
  • Alikay Naturals Moisture Rich Hair Parfait. Now this one is actually not considered a styler, but i’s so moisturizing that it makes the hair very soft and pliable. Again this one is a great cold weather product. It’s 100% all natural, and the smell is divine. It smells good enough to eat! This is my go to for a beautiful fluffy braid out on dry hair. It keeps the hair soft and fluffy. If you are doing a protective style this will also keep your hair well moisturized for days.
  • Maui Moisture Curl Quench Curl Milk. This is great for protective styling. It keeps the hair soft and manageable and reduces shedding when combing. I found this to be great for when I style my hair every 2 – 3 days. Let’s say I had jumbo twists or 2 cornrows, I would redo and moisturize with this product every few days. It’s not too heavy and is great for summer and fall. It has some great products such as papaya butter which I have never used. It is a hair milk and my hair loves hair milks.

Now products alone will not keep your hair healthy or give you the desired style. But finding what works for you is a great way to start. What are some of your favorite products? Have you ever tried any of these? If so I’d love to hear what you think of them. And if not what are you using?

Nine Steps For Taking Your Vision From Board To Reality

Its the beginning of the New Year and I’m sure all of our timelines are filled with all the mantras and resolutions of the forth coming newness!  Nowadays, everyone and their mama does vision boards. Or planners or some kind of goal forecasting. Some people believe they work and others think its just that old snake oil. The truth is,

Your Dreams Don’t Work Unless You Do!

There is a science to the process, its not just some magic wishing board. Or a collage of cool pictures and words. It’s a vision board. Your vision is the most important element. Where do you see yourself? What do you want to have, and who do you want to share it with? I think sometimes folks are just attracted to the picture and have no idea or intention of manifesting any of it. But if you want to take your vision from board to real life, keep reading!

1. Keep It Real- This is easier said than done. It’s so important to be realistic about the vision with out limiting the outcome. Know your limits and gear your expectations accordingly.  I do believe you should create the biggest grandest vision of your dreams. But be real with yourself. If you know you are not a morning person, maybe start with getting up a half hour earlier as a goal instead of going to the gym at 5:30 am as a goal.

2. Be Intentional- I like to say “set your intention”. Focus your thoughts in the direction of your vision. Show up ready to work and set your intentions on reaching your goal. I use to have such a problem with this step. In prayer, I would thank God for certain things, then find myself complaining about having to perform or maintain those same things.

Remember thoughts become things.

3. Take Action-  It is of the utmost importance that your words and actions line up with your vision. If travel is on your vision board, start by getting your passport. Or book a hotel somewhere close enough to drive to and explore the sites. Bookmark that Kayak/explore page so you can keep an eye out for places you can afford to go to. As you can see more travel is on my board!

4. Stay Positive- This should go without saying, but it’s impossible to have a positive out come if all you give out is negativity. As I said above, thoughts become things. So keep your thoughts, words, and environment positive.

5. Trust Yourself To Make The Right Decision- Some people go through life not making any decisions, for fear of being responsible for the making the wrong decisions. Need I say this leads to stagnation and dissatisfaction. Just know, you will make some mistakes, but just learn from them and keep pushing. Some say if you are going through life not making any mistakes, you are not taking enough chances. You know what Brother Donnie McClerkin says! We Fall Down, But We Get Up! Just keep getting up and giving it your all.

6. Know That You Know What You Know- It may not be easy to say, but it is very simple to do. Just don’t water the weeds! The weeds are your distractions, doubts, and fears.  Just know that what you are doing is to manifest your vision and see your goals to reality. Starve your distraction. Feed your goals. In other words, you will never please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.

7. Collaborate & Connect- They say if you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far, go together. Networking across with like minded individuals will make for great motivation. The environment will be rich with ideas and creativity. Not to mention having a sound companion or group to get and give valuable information.

8. Be The Light- There will be haters, and negative Nelly’s. Just shine anyway. You never know who you will encourage.

9. Give Yourself Permission To Be Blessed- All to often we let negative voices crowd our space. We start to believe that good things never happen to people like you and I. And if someone does offer us a seemingly ” to good to be true ” opportunity, we believe just that. This must be to good to be true. So we sabotage our chances at success because we don’t believe we deserve said opportunity anyway. Just know that you do!

So Happy 2018!  Give yourself a pat on the back. Whatever 2017 gave you, you have overcome it! You made it through the ups and downs. The set backs and set ups, and come out on the other side with the knowledge and wisdom gained from all those experiences.  Now you have to move forward with the goals and plans designed for your success!


101 Natural Hair Tips: Hair Porosity Tips 91- 101

Well as we come to the end of this series, 101 Natural Hair Tips, it was tough for me to settle on the last topic. Then I realized, I’m always talking about how knowing your hair porosity is the most important aspect of a healthy hair journey, yet I never told you why I feel this way. Or how this could help. So it was kind of no brainer. The Last topic is Hair Porosity.

Knowing your hair porosity literally determines what products will work best for your hair. What processes will give you the best results, and why certain buzz words and holy grail products will or won’t work for you.

  1. Know Your Hair Porosity- Here are the two most common ways to determine hair porosity. Take a strand of hair and hold it between your fingers. Run your pinched fingers down the shaft. If it feels tight & stiff you have low porosity hair, which means your hair shaft is tightly closed and it is difficult for moisture to get in or out. If you feel ridges or jagged peaks you have high porosity hair, which means the shaft is open and it is easy for moisture to escape. If your fingers move smoothly up and down the shaft you have normal porosity hair. which means you can accept and retain moisture easily. The most commonly promoted way is the water test. Take a glass of water drop a strand of hair in the glass. If the strand sinks to the bottom rapidly, you have high porosity. If the stand slowly floats to the middle of the glass, you have normal porosity. If the strand floats at the top and does not sink, you have low porosity.
  2. Test On Clean Hair- It’s important to test on clean hair. The product on you hair can obscure the results. Your hair may float at the top because you have certain product or oils on your hair that seal in the and stop the water from penetrating the shaft.
  3. Test Different Areas Of The Head- Believe it or not you could have more than one porosity level on your head. Just as you can have different hair textures. The best places to test are the crown, the nape, and the temple. Although I would not recommend using several products on your head. I would suggest you utilize a process that will assist in moisture retention for that specified section.

Lets say you find out the hair at the crown of your head is high porosity but the rest of your hair is normal porosity. Here are the tips I would suggest you use for that section of hair.

  1. Rinse High Porosity Hair Cold Water- The cuticle on high porosity hair is lifted. The cold water will coax the hair cuticle closed. This will seal in the moisture. Also using cold leave-in for your  L.O.C.
  2.  Aloe Vera Juice- Adding aloe vera juice to your wash day will help seal the moisture in. Aloe vera juice can also be added to your daily maintenance routine.  Add it in your water bottle.
  3. High Porosity Hair Benefits From Protein –  Protein is in your deep conditioner. It’s in your leave in. You can do protein treatments.

On the other hand, if you find that your nape or temple area is low porosity and the rest of your hair is normal. Here are some tips that will help you get the best results.

  1.  Low Porosity Hair Benefits From Steam- The steam will open the cuticle to allow the moisture to penetrate the hair shaft. If you don’t have a steamer, bring water to a boil and hold a towel over your head while leaning over the pot as the steam evaporates. You can also sit your leave in and or your oil in hot water to heat the product.Using heat when deep conditioning will also help the product penetrate the hair shaft.
  2.  Avoid Product Build Up- Low porosity hair is prone to product build up, because the hair cuticle is closed, the product will sit on the hair and not penetrate the shaft. If the product  builds up on the shaft it will give the hair a dull appearance. Apple Cider Vinegar rinses will cleanse the hair from build  up.
  3. Limit Protein- It may be hard to avoid protein completely, but you need to limit the protein. Stay away from protein masks, and look for deep conditioners with out protein. Do not add protein to your regimen.

Now, this last tip is one of the most important tips on the whole natural hair journey. There will always be buzz words, or some miracle product, or the latest greatest find. They always say the journey is trial and error, but this can lead to curl damage, or worst yet breakage.

  1. Stick To What Works- Stay off the bandwagon. I remember a few years back, coconut oil was the holy grail of the natural hair community. But for me I tried it once or twice and knew it wasn’t going to work for my hair. I listen to my hair, if my hair doesn’t respond well to the product, I leave it alone.

I have covered the most important points about hair porosity and how it applies to a healthy hair journey. Now there are always factors that will affect your hair porosity and condition, such as hair color,(color treated hair tips) medicine, and or illness. These factor will affect the results of your test, but these tips will help to repair any temporary damage that may occur.

Employ good basics (Click here for: Natural Hair Basics 1 & 2), develop a stable wash day regimen (Click here for: Wash Day Tips), stay off the product bandwagon (Click here for: How to Avoid Being a Product Junkie), and listen to your hair. Well that about wraps it up for me. Do you know your hair porosity? Do you think it matters? If so how has knowing changed your regimen? Leave us a comment or if you have any questions please drop us a line in the comments or on social media.

Healthy Hair and There: Inexpensive All Natural Hair & Body Products You Probably Already Have

Is it just me or doesnt it seem like every other day there’s a new “it” ingredient for natural hair? Every time I turn around there’s some super ingredient that’s going to grow your hair, thicken it, or add super duper shine and moisture! It’s no wonder many Curlies find it difficult to navigate what to do and what not to do. But what if I told you, you already have all the super ingredients you need and probably use them everyday?

Have you ever heard of the term “Kitchen Beautician”? Well, this post is going to give new meaning the word! The products are literally from your kitchen! To top it off, if you love a great deal, you know the kind of deal that your money is so well spent that the dollars wink at you when you pass them off, than you’ll thank me later. There’s nothing better than things that double and triple your money! We have so many amazing deals right in the kitchen! Here are five items that are beneficial to your body inside and out, from head to toe, while stretching those coins!

  • Water- The Real Youth Elixir 

We can’t talk about water enough! It is truly a gift from God! Water is the only element in the world that is crucial to your well being. Besides helping your body perform to the best of its capability, drinking water promotes hair growth and glowing skin. Water is also the best moisturizer for dry hair, skin, and lips ( here is a recipe for DIY lip scrub just for you, as an added bonus!). And also usually the main ingredient in your favorite product or meal! Some people use rose water, rice water or alkaline water. All that that aside. Regular water works the best! In fact it’s one of our pillars for healthy hair.

  • Oils- What A Blessing 

As you know we are big oil lovers here (click her for : blessed oil). Oils are the NEXT best thing to a moisturizer ! You can use oils to lubricant your hair and also to seal in the goodness from other products and or lock the water onto your hair and skin. Using oils to cook with (i.e olive, coconut, and almond oils) are the best way to cut the fats. Use your favorite oil instead of butter and/or vegetable oils. Also don’t forget to rub yourself down from head to toe with your favorite oil(s)! ( click here for : our five favorite oils)

  • Honey-Oh Honey Baby 

Heaven’s nectar! Honey is a natural humectant and draws in the moisture in the air to your hair when you use a honey mask (click her for : honey b natural hair mask). Honey is also a natural sweetener and you can replace your sugars with honey (even syrup and jelly too!) Honey also soothes your sore throat and boosts your immune system when down.

Here’s two added bonuses – a teaspoon a day of honey from your local farmers market will help you out during allergy season. And drinking warm water with honey and lemon in the morning on an empty stomach relaxes your stomach before a meal and promotes weight loss since it is a natural diuretic! Just be mindful of how cold it is outside. If the temps are below freezing, it’s recommended to avoid humectants during this time. 

  • Avocado-The Fruit of the Century!

Studies has shown the avocado is loaded with essential vitamins and loaded in healthy fats, making this fruit the new must have for the healthy community. Using avocado as a hair masks eliminates excessive dryness and repairs damage done to the scalp. Avocado is great for a facial mask rejuvenating the youth and glow. Aloe- The Miracle  Healing Plant

Last but certainly not least. Aloe is also very hydrating and boosts immunity. Drinking Aloe Vera Juice is a great natural way to detox! And it also promotes hair growth! ( Click here for : Aloe Honey Oil Prepoo). Aloe is excellent for the skin. Use aloe to soothe sun burns, acne, and dry skin. An added bonus is using aloe to make a DIY hair gel to lay those edges down without alcohol. Be sure to check your ingredients when buying aloe based products, some products contain little to no aloe. (click here:: for information about aloe product fraud.)

I always hear Curlies complaining about the ingredients in the products they buy, but in the same breath, you dare not use DIY products. That part I just don’t get. But the truth is, the only way to be absolutely sure the products you are using are all natural is…if you use them in their natural state! And as you can see it’s easy to stretch your dollar! What natural products do you use as a 2 in 1? Do you have a favorite DIY or kitchen beautician recipe? Let us know in the comments!

How to Style A Plus Size Pencil Skirt: Mixed Up In Prints

Well, this is supposed to be my Thanksgiving Holiday look. However, I’m just not sure how long this belt is going to stay on, once the food starts going in! But I love this look with the belt because it just pulls it together. I must admit, I’m kind of feeling belts lately. They emphasize the waist, and define a line where the eye should focus. Especially when wearing mixed prints the belt gives a clear focus so the look doesn’t get too busy!

My top is a super comfortable soft knit top from Modcloth. It has a kind of vintage style which I seem to be drawn to. I always end up gravitating to the old classic silhouettes. This look is no exception. The pencil skirt is also a classic silhouette. It looks great on most body shapes. I have a larger mid section, but not quite an apple shape. I’m also very hippie. The pencil skirt is designed to be wider at the top and narrow towards the bottom which compliments my shape nicely.

This stripped skirt it’s also a soft knit. A little heavier than the top but it’s still very comfortable. Both pieces are cute and comfortable. The skirt had an elastic waistband  so it will be comfortable sitting, standing, and with a full bell. 😋 the skirt is a wide stripe, which I love because the black and white is balanced very well. Neither is too overwhelming. I went with a medium size polka dot because the stripe is a bold print and I didn’t want them competing.

I kept all of my accessories solid and simple. The coat is an updated classic trench with a waterfall front. The earrings are a dangling pom. Classic Black knee boots ( my favorite fall/ winter accessories ), But the bag is anything but classic. It’s a very trendy triangle box bag, in a bold red paten leather. Even with all that going on, I added a purse charm to make it just to my liking!

Now this may or may not be my Thanksgiving look, but it will be a part of my holiday season go to looks. The silhouette compliments everything in just the right places, and the patterns make it a funky stand out for any fun or formal event.

I know I’m breaking a fashion rule or 10 here. Like big girls don’t wear patterns, don’t wear horizontal stripes, don’t mix patterns, if you are short don’t wear your skirt too long. I could probably go on for days, but really I don’t follow any of those rules! If it makes me feel good and I look good in it, I’m wearing it!

COAT Similar   SKIRT Similar PURSE Similar CHARM Similar   (Top) (boots)

But that’s me, I can’t see allowing rules that don’t make sense to me, dictate how I dress. Do you believe in the “fashion rules”? Or are you a rule breaker like me? Drop me a line in the comments and let me know how you feel about the “fashion rules”. Do you think they are out dated or what? Also what are you rocking this holiday season? Last but surely not least I just want to thank all of you who support me. Giving thanks for you!

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly: The Good Hair Post

Can we talk about good hair and bad hair ? What is good hair anyway? What is bad hair? I know some of you all will read that and answer “no hair is bad”! So, if there is no such thing as bad or ugly hair, why do we say “so and so” has pretty hair? What are we comparing this pretty hair too?

Most people of color refer to thinner hair with loose curls and/or waves to be considered pretty or good hair. Majority of the time, this statement is considered a compliment. But is it really?

All hair texture is different, but when we say that a certain curly has beautiful hair, what are we saying about that the next curly girl with a tighter curl pattern and/or coarser hair? Can she not have pretty hair? Are we underhandedly insulting our sista?

I’ve heard it all, and most women have a love hate relationship with their hair. Its either too kinky, too thin, too thick, too curly, too straight, too flat, too big, etc.
Yet, we always work it out and end up with a hand full of compliments.

Our community tends to segregate hair textures with certain curls being the “best” and other curls feeling isolated. When are we going to realize we are all in this together. The natural hair community is just as segregated as all the rest. We want to accept one form of natural hair, as if you can’t accept it all.

This journey back to loving our natural hair is not an easy one for a lot of us. It starts with self acceptance. It may seem easy on social media or for your favorite blogger, but the hardest battle is fighting yourself. You almost have to go back retrain your thoughts on everything you have learned when it came to hair care. Most of us were never taught to care for our hair. Even worse we don’t know how to love our hair. If your experience was anything like mine, your hair was always someone’s “problem issue”. What are we going to do with her hair? Who’s going to do her hair? Or if you wash it,I’ll do it? ….it was always a struggle so of course I adopted by that same struggle narrative.

I’ve said before, it wasn’t until I was faced with the prospect of loosing my hair, due to a chronic illness, that I began to fall in love with my hair like never before! I learned to listen to her in all her beautiful mane- nificent glory!

I’ll admit it before the world, I love my hair! I love hair period. I’m a hair person! Always have been! I literally see a persons hair before I see them. *don’t judge me* it could be worst. *smiles*

So, when you see that sista girl rocking her fro as you stare with a tinge of hair envy, pay her a compliment because you recognize her struggle. Recognize her efforts!

This natural hair movement is so huge, that it makes everyone uncomfortable, including yourself. You still struggle with taming your hair, for fear that you will stand out in corporate America, or even get kicked out of school for looking “unkept”. You have to learn to roll and twist your hair just good enough so that you can still please the eyes of others. As a natural you are not allowed to have a bad hair day, as if you ever had 100% perfect hair days before returning back to your natural state.

What’s funnier, the people who surround you tend to be more nervous about your natural hair journey than you are. This hair movement is scary, yet exciting, but still surprising, because everyday you never know what you will end up with (lol). Sometimes we set expectations too high and some days it’s overly frustrating. We all need the support of our hair community.

No one thinks of the struggle when you transition or chop your hair off. You amaze yourself when you realize you have no idea, how to take care of your own hair the way it is without any chemicals or heat. I know it isn’t easy for any woman to maintain the perfect hair, so we praise a good protective style, but in the end you still need to know how to maintain healthy hair. Our minds have been so conditioned with pretty hair vs ugly hair, that we fail to see the beauty in all our natural hair. Your natural curls may not match my natural curls, and my curls may not match the straight hair of the model on the latest magazine, but having hair, that we are able to grow without too much struggle is beautiful itself.

I’m sure we all have heard “natural hair isn’t for everyone”, but when you think about it, how is your hair that God gave you not for you, because it isn’t what the world may consider beautiful?

So, again next time you see someone with that “pretty hair”, that hair that she struggled to comb, failed to moisturize the night before, woke up frustrated and hoping she could tame it enough to be accepted, just know she might not see pretty hair, I know it’s beautiful and she should too.

. Let’s do away with this ugly hair stereotype. Let go of these turns like good and bad hair! What ever your hair texture what ever your hair type, what ever your hair style, love it, rock it, and make it your own! And as the old kitchen beauticians you to say after they got finished lacing you with the piff ” more hair” !

What do you consider good hair? Does length, texture, or density come into the equation? Let us know what you consider “Good Hair” ?

Slightly Guilt Free, Guilty Chocolate Chip Cookies: A Spin On The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Okay, let’s be honest, we only post our best selves on social media, but that is not truly all that what makes me who I am. So, that’s my intro before I admit that I fell off again with my fitness and health, but this time I truly felt no guilt. It got bad, I mean real bad. In my quest to satisfy this defying sweet tooth, I found the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe! They were gooey, chocolate-ly, and super soft. Have you noticed how much I loved these cookies, yet?

One day I woke up and said, okay, enough is enough. I went out and purchased all of this healthy food and started back exercising, but I still had everything to make my good ole chocolate chip cookies. Now, if you’ve been following me you know that I don’t believe in depriving myself the foods that I enjoy, but I do believe in cutting back and hitting those calories with a hard punch of exercise. This isn’t the best method, but it works for me.

A week into being fit phatty again, the kids say “Mommy, we love your chocolate cookies, can you please make some?” How can I deny those cute faces? How can I also make those perfect cookies and not indulge. (Ok, I know it’s possible to make the cookies and not eat them, but I want some gooey cookies too!) I decided we will eat cookies tomorrow on cheat day.  If I am going to cheat myself and divert from my diet, I was going to do it with a little less guilt. How, you ask? With ground flax seed! Now, I won’t lie, I was very nervous that I was going to ruin the cookies, but I did it anyway. And you know what? No one noticed! 

Realistically, this does not make the cookie healthy, but it makes me feel less guilty! I do not recommend them as a healthy alternative, but it’s a nice cheat day snack. These cookies are small and delicious, and are about 120 calories per tablespoon. Which means you can burn off four of those cookies with about 25 minutes of using the kettlebell 🙂

This recipe is so simple, I asked myself why did I waste money buying processed cookie dough, when I could just make it from scratch!. It’s about 10 minutes for prep time, 9-12 minutes to cook, and 10 minutes to cool. I cook my cookies for only 9 minutes because I like them really soft, but if you prefer a crispier cookie, cook your cookies for 11 to 12 minutes.


2 cups of all purpose flour

1 cup of dark brown sugar (packed)

1 cup of white sugar

1/2 tsp of baking soda

1/2 tsp of salt

3/4 cup of melted butter

1 tbs of vanilla extract

1 tbs of ground flaxseed

1 egg

1 egg yolk

2 cups of semi sweet chocolate chip cookies



  1. Preheat your oven to 325 degrees
  2. In a small bowl, sift together your flour, baking soda, and salt. Place mixture to the side
  3. In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar, and white sugar. Stir vigorously until it is well blended.
  4. Beat in the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract.
  5. Add the sifted ingredients and ground flaxseed, mixing it well with the wet ingredients.
  6. Add the chocolate chips
  7. Grease your cookie sheet and place 1 tbs of cookie dough on the cookie sheet, leaving about 1 to 2 inches of room to allow the cookies room to spread.
  8. Cook cookies for 9 to 10 minutes (cook an additional 2 to 3 minutes if you want crispier cookies)
  9. Allow cookies to cool.
  10. ENJOY

This recipe makes about 3 dozen cookies. You can always store the cookie dough in the refrigerator for just a couple of days, if you’re not going to use it soon, go ahead and freeze it!

As stated before this is not a healthy alternative, but it comes with a little less guilt! Flaxseed has many benefits and I’m going to add it to a few more things! Shhhhhh, don’t tell my family!

If you try this recipe, let us know!! And if you think your recipe is healthier or better, let us know!

Until next time, catch you later!

  • The Fit Phatty


Picture Me Through The Blush Of Rose Gold

In just a few short hours I’ll be 44 years old. Somehow through God’s grace, I am an independent, confident, productive, wife, mother and grandmother. Yes, this still trips me out, because I know for sure most of it was not intentional on my part. I wish I had the foresight to have planned my life. I give those of you with those 5 and 10 year plans mad props. It took me a long time to have faith in my decision making ability, so I would have never trusted that I knew what I wanted. Even as a little girl, I spent a lot of time alone because I was always on punishment for one thing or another. Being chastised for everything made me fearful of making choices on my own. I actually use to tell myself that I wasn’t capable of making good choices. Not an easy road to be on.

This belief lead to me, just letting life happen to me instead of planning my steps. I was mostly reactive to what ever situations or choices others chose for me. Sometimes I had a good reaction, sometimes it was down right disastrous. I’m a very emotional being by nature, so a lot of my reaction were pure emotion. And if you know like I know, this was not going to turn out well. I had my first son as a teenager, and my second son in my early twenties. I had a decent job, but it just wasn’t going to take care of three of us. By the time I had my second son, I knew I had to make  changes in my life. It started with my deciding that I was know longer going to be held back by the negative Nellys in my head. I started writing down goals and figuring out how to work towards them. A few years ago I ran across an old journal, I had to laugh when I read the goals. All I wanted was to have a car, a job, and my own place. The funny thing is, those goals seem so low, but I don’t remember being excited or even acknowledging when I reached them. Somehow, I made myself believe those goals were nothing. To some they may not be, but for me obviously it was something I needed to focus on attaining. So at that very moment, I allowed myself to be proud. Even though it was 20 years later! I let go of thinking my accomplishments are nothing. I deserve to celebrate me.

I may have said this before, but by growing up without my mom in my life, I was determined to be the mom I didn’t have. Thank God He blessed me with the ability to be a good provider for my boys. I use to wonder if I was doing a good job, then one day I looked up and not only was I taking care of my 2, but I was also taking care of my little sister and brother, and many of my younger cousins from time to time.

In the role as caregiver, I began to put myself last again . Always thinking if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done. After many years of sacrificing myself for the greater good of the rest of the people around me, kind of made me sad. As I look back at my thirties, I realize I spent the entire decade depressed. Mainly because I wasn’t doing anything to feed my soul. Everything was for someone else. Part of my believed that I had to keep holding all the weight or everything would fall apart and I would be the blame. I can remember my husband telling me, that everyone else can afford to be happy because I’m holding all their misery. Lol, thank God for him. He was so right. I let go of being responsible for everyone but me. I deserve to be first. It’s ok to be a little selfish sometimes.

When I turned Forty I promised myself that I was going to take better care of me. I know it might seem a little late in the game, but you know what they say: better late than never. Today I am a mother of three, a wife, and a grandmother. It’s not easy to let old habits go, but everyday I seek God for guidance and direction. As I keep moving forward on this road to self love and acceptance, there are highs and lows. But just like that old saying says, I’m looking at life through ” rose-tinted glasses”. I chose to see the good in my life. I love the institution of love and believe love is the answer. Today I believe I am not only capable of making good decisions, but I’m equipped to teach others how to as well. Today I believe that I am the master of my own destiny. Today I believe that I am worthy to be celebrated. Today I believe that I am too important not to be a priority. Today I am seeking my golden life. As I approach my forty fourth year I believe all things are possible and are working together for my good!

Outfit dets: Satin Bomber ( Charlotte Russe) Blush Denim ( Lane Bryant)