Tag: mrsphatandnaptural

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly: The Good Hair Post

Can we talk about good hair and bad hair ? What is good hair anyway? What is bad hair? I know some of you all will read that and answer “no hair is bad”! So, if there is no such thing as bad or ugly hair, why do we say “so and so” has pretty hair? What are we comparing this pretty hair too?

Most people of color refer to thinner hair with loose curls and/or waves to be considered pretty or good hair. Majority of the time, this statement is considered a compliment. But is it really?

All hair texture is different, but when we say that a certain curly has beautiful hair, what are we saying about that the next curly girl with a tighter curl pattern and/or coarser hair? Can she not have pretty hair? Are we underhandedly insulting our sista?

I’ve heard it all, and most women have a love hate relationship with their hair. Its either too kinky, too thin, too thick, too curly, too straight, too flat, too big, etc.
Yet, we always work it out and end up with a hand full of compliments.

Our community tends to segregate hair textures with certain curls being the “best” and other curls feeling isolated. When are we going to realize we are all in this together. The natural hair community is just as segregated as all the rest. We want to accept one form of natural hair, as if you can’t accept it all.

This journey back to loving our natural hair is not an easy one for a lot of us. It starts with self acceptance. It may seem easy on social media or for your favorite blogger, but the hardest battle is fighting yourself. You almost have to go back retrain your thoughts on everything you have learned when it came to hair care. Most of us were never taught to care for our hair. Even worse we don’t know how to love our hair. If your experience was anything like mine, your hair was always someone’s “problem issue”. What are we going to do with her hair? Who’s going to do her hair? Or if you wash it,I’ll do it? ….it was always a struggle so of course I adopted by that same struggle narrative.

I’ve said before, it wasn’t until I was faced with the prospect of loosing my hair, due to a chronic illness, that I began to fall in love with my hair like never before! I learned to listen to her in all her beautiful mane- nificent glory!

I’ll admit it before the world, I love my hair! I love hair period. I’m a hair person! Always have been! I literally see a persons hair before I see them. *don’t judge me* it could be worst. *smiles*

So, when you see that sista girl rocking her fro as you stare with a tinge of hair envy, pay her a compliment because you recognize her struggle. Recognize her efforts!

This natural hair movement is so huge, that it makes everyone uncomfortable, including yourself. You still struggle with taming your hair, for fear that you will stand out in corporate America, or even get kicked out of school for looking “unkept”. You have to learn to roll and twist your hair just good enough so that you can still please the eyes of others. As a natural you are not allowed to have a bad hair day, as if you ever had 100% perfect hair days before returning back to your natural state.

What’s funnier, the people who surround you tend to be more nervous about your natural hair journey than you are. This hair movement is scary, yet exciting, but still surprising, because everyday you never know what you will end up with (lol). Sometimes we set expectations too high and some days it’s overly frustrating. We all need the support of our hair community.

No one thinks of the struggle when you transition or chop your hair off. You amaze yourself when you realize you have no idea, how to take care of your own hair the way it is without any chemicals or heat. I know it isn’t easy for any woman to maintain the perfect hair, so we praise a good protective style, but in the end you still need to know how to maintain healthy hair. Our minds have been so conditioned with pretty hair vs ugly hair, that we fail to see the beauty in all our natural hair. Your natural curls may not match my natural curls, and my curls may not match the straight hair of the model on the latest magazine, but having hair, that we are able to grow without too much struggle is beautiful itself.

I’m sure we all have heard “natural hair isn’t for everyone”, but when you think about it, how is your hair that God gave you not for you, because it isn’t what the world may consider beautiful?

So, again next time you see someone with that “pretty hair”, that hair that she struggled to comb, failed to moisturize the night before, woke up frustrated and hoping she could tame it enough to be accepted, just know she might not see pretty hair, I know it’s beautiful and she should too.

. Let’s do away with this ugly hair stereotype. Let go of these turns like good and bad hair! What ever your hair texture what ever your hair type, what ever your hair style, love it, rock it, and make it your own! And as the old kitchen beauticians you to say after they got finished lacing you with the piff ” more hair” !

What do you consider good hair? Does length, texture, or density come into the equation? Let us know what you consider “Good Hair” ?

Slightly Guilt Free, Guilty Chocolate Chip Cookies: A Spin On The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Okay, let’s be honest, we only post our best selves on social media, but that is not truly all that what makes me who I am. So, that’s my intro before I admit that I fell off again with my fitness and health, but this time I truly felt no guilt. It got bad, I mean real bad. In my quest to satisfy this defying sweet tooth, I found the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe! They were gooey, chocolate-ly, and super soft. Have you noticed how much I loved these cookies, yet?

One day I woke up and said, okay, enough is enough. I went out and purchased all of this healthy food and started back exercising, but I still had everything to make my good ole chocolate chip cookies. Now, if you’ve been following me you know that I don’t believe in depriving myself the foods that I enjoy, but I do believe in cutting back and hitting those calories with a hard punch of exercise. This isn’t the best method, but it works for me.

A week into being fit phatty again, the kids say “Mommy, we love your chocolate cookies, can you please make some?” How can I deny those cute faces? How can I also make those perfect cookies and not indulge. (Ok, I know it’s possible to make the cookies and not eat them, but I want some gooey cookies too!) I decided we will eat cookies tomorrow on cheat day.  If I am going to cheat myself and divert from my diet, I was going to do it with a little less guilt. How, you ask? With ground flax seed! Now, I won’t lie, I was very nervous that I was going to ruin the cookies, but I did it anyway. And you know what? No one noticed! 

Realistically, this does not make the cookie healthy, but it makes me feel less guilty! I do not recommend them as a healthy alternative, but it’s a nice cheat day snack. These cookies are small and delicious, and are about 120 calories per tablespoon. Which means you can burn off four of those cookies with about 25 minutes of using the kettlebell 🙂

This recipe is so simple, I asked myself why did I waste money buying processed cookie dough, when I could just make it from scratch!. It’s about 10 minutes for prep time, 9-12 minutes to cook, and 10 minutes to cool. I cook my cookies for only 9 minutes because I like them really soft, but if you prefer a crispier cookie, cook your cookies for 11 to 12 minutes.

Ingredients:

2 cups of all purpose flour

1 cup of dark brown sugar (packed)

1 cup of white sugar

1/2 tsp of baking soda

1/2 tsp of salt

3/4 cup of melted butter

1 tbs of vanilla extract

1 tbs of ground flaxseed

1 egg

1 egg yolk

2 cups of semi sweet chocolate chip cookies

 

Instructions:

  1. Preheat your oven to 325 degrees
  2. In a small bowl, sift together your flour, baking soda, and salt. Place mixture to the side
  3. In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar, and white sugar. Stir vigorously until it is well blended.
  4. Beat in the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract.
  5. Add the sifted ingredients and ground flaxseed, mixing it well with the wet ingredients.
  6. Add the chocolate chips
  7. Grease your cookie sheet and place 1 tbs of cookie dough on the cookie sheet, leaving about 1 to 2 inches of room to allow the cookies room to spread.
  8. Cook cookies for 9 to 10 minutes (cook an additional 2 to 3 minutes if you want crispier cookies)
  9. Allow cookies to cool.
  10. ENJOY

This recipe makes about 3 dozen cookies. You can always store the cookie dough in the refrigerator for just a couple of days, if you’re not going to use it soon, go ahead and freeze it!

As stated before this is not a healthy alternative, but it comes with a little less guilt! Flaxseed has many benefits and I’m going to add it to a few more things! Shhhhhh, don’t tell my family!

If you try this recipe, let us know!! And if you think your recipe is healthier or better, let us know!

Until next time, catch you later!

  • The Fit Phatty

 

Picture Me Through The Blush Of Rose Gold

In just a few short hours I’ll be 44 years old. Somehow through God’s grace, I am an independent, confident, productive, wife, mother and grandmother. Yes, this still trips me out, because I know for sure most of it was not intentional on my part. I wish I had the foresight to have planned my life. I give those of you with those 5 and 10 year plans mad props. It took me a long time to have faith in my decision making ability, so I would have never trusted that I knew what I wanted. Even as a little girl, I spent a lot of time alone because I was always on punishment for one thing or another. Being chastised for everything made me fearful of making choices on my own. I actually use to tell myself that I wasn’t capable of making good choices. Not an easy road to be on.

This belief lead to me, just letting life happen to me instead of planning my steps. I was mostly reactive to what ever situations or choices others chose for me. Sometimes I had a good reaction, sometimes it was down right disastrous. I’m a very emotional being by nature, so a lot of my reaction were pure emotion. And if you know like I know, this was not going to turn out well. I had my first son as a teenager, and my second son in my early twenties. I had a decent job, but it just wasn’t going to take care of three of us. By the time I had my second son, I knew I had to make  changes in my life. It started with my deciding that I was know longer going to be held back by the negative Nellys in my head. I started writing down goals and figuring out how to work towards them. A few years ago I ran across an old journal, I had to laugh when I read the goals. All I wanted was to have a car, a job, and my own place. The funny thing is, those goals seem so low, but I don’t remember being excited or even acknowledging when I reached them. Somehow, I made myself believe those goals were nothing. To some they may not be, but for me obviously it was something I needed to focus on attaining. So at that very moment, I allowed myself to be proud. Even though it was 20 years later! I let go of thinking my accomplishments are nothing. I deserve to celebrate me.

I may have said this before, but by growing up without my mom in my life, I was determined to be the mom I didn’t have. Thank God He blessed me with the ability to be a good provider for my boys. I use to wonder if I was doing a good job, then one day I looked up and not only was I taking care of my 2, but I was also taking care of my little sister and brother, and many of my younger cousins from time to time.

In the role as caregiver, I began to put myself last again . Always thinking if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done. After many years of sacrificing myself for the greater good of the rest of the people around me, kind of made me sad. As I look back at my thirties, I realize I spent the entire decade depressed. Mainly because I wasn’t doing anything to feed my soul. Everything was for someone else. Part of my believed that I had to keep holding all the weight or everything would fall apart and I would be the blame. I can remember my husband telling me, that everyone else can afford to be happy because I’m holding all their misery. Lol, thank God for him. He was so right. I let go of being responsible for everyone but me. I deserve to be first. It’s ok to be a little selfish sometimes.

When I turned Forty I promised myself that I was going to take better care of me. I know it might seem a little late in the game, but you know what they say: better late than never. Today I am a mother of three, a wife, and a grandmother. It’s not easy to let old habits go, but everyday I seek God for guidance and direction. As I keep moving forward on this road to self love and acceptance, there are highs and lows. But just like that old saying says, I’m looking at life through ” rose-tinted glasses”. I chose to see the good in my life. I love the institution of love and believe love is the answer. Today I believe I am not only capable of making good decisions, but I’m equipped to teach others how to as well. Today I believe that I am the master of my own destiny. Today I believe that I am worthy to be celebrated. Today I believe that I am too important not to be a priority. Today I am seeking my golden life. As I approach my forty fourth year I believe all things are possible and are working together for my good!

Outfit dets: Satin Bomber ( Charlotte Russe) Blush Denim ( Lane Bryant)

Plus Size Fall Fashion Favorites : Graphic Tee & Moto Jacket

Well peeps, it’s finally here! The Fall as we call it, my favorite season. I am a crispy air, colored leaf and hot beverage loving soul. Not to mention it’s my birthday season! One of my favorite things about fall is all the cute fall fashions that we have the pleasure of downing. Some of my favorite pieces of fall fashion are a great pair of jeans, a graphic t and a bomb jacket.

 

Every year for the last few years everyone talks about Moto jackets. I must have 3 or 4 but I always have the same issue, the arms are too tight. So when I ordered this Waterfall Moto Jacket ( it’s sold out but here is a similar Moto ) from Rebdolls, the first thing I checked was the fit on the arms. To my surprise, there is a knit panel under the arm that runs back of the arm which is perfect of you have larger arms. The Micro suede or fuax suede as they call it, makes it look kind of like a blazer to me. It’s definitely Boss Girl Chic. It’s an Office to After Hour piece.

This graphic tee is one that I’ve had in my closet for a few years, but it is really soft and hits me at just the right length to cover my stomach. I picked it up at Forever 21. I don’t often shop there because most of the items I get seem to run small.

Now my favorite piece of this simple fall look is the dark denim. BTW I love when I hear the trend spotters say things like denim is in this season. Lol, when has denim not been in? IDK, I’ve always been a jeans and T-shirt girl. But back to these jeans, they are RWN by Rawan. I’ve never heard of them before I received them in my Curvycon swag bag. They will run you a pretty penny at $78. They are about the same quality as the Torrid jeans, which I’ve said in the past are my most favorite plus size jeans. I have to admit, I find myself reaching for these instead of my Torrid skinnies. They have the perfect amount of stretch, and they are all day comfortable.

The dark wash allows me to get away with wearing them in the office for a not so impromptu casual Thursday. In fact replace the graphic T with a white button up and that’s it. Casual Thursday on deck! I topped the look off with a laced ballet flat. This season shoes are pointed toe again. These are from Asos.com.  I love that they carry wide width shoes. Now even if you are a little weary about being shoes online, you can rest easy because they carry wide and so chances are they will fit perfect.

 

If you’ve read all the way to the bottom, don’t mind my face! I just noticed it looks like I’m aggravated, but I’m not. Anyway what are some of your favs this Fall? Hit me in the comments and let me know.

Finally Fall Fashion : Daytime Sequins, Slouchy Boots, And Camo!

Yes, it’s finally starting to feel like Fall! So you know what that means, the best of the best in fashion! Only Fall allows us to rock our cutest wears layered upon layer. This Fall one of the things your going to see is daytime sequins. Who knew you could rock a sequin dress with almost knee boots 😜 and an Army coat? Well me of course! It’s the ultimate pretty tomboy.

You will see these glitter bombs of sequins on everything, from jeans to sweaters, and yes even on a camouflage dress!

In the spirit of too much is never enough, I went ahead and styled the sequined dress from Ashley Stewart, with some slouch boots, and an Army coat which I got from Lane Bryant. I picked the Steve Madden Camo tote up over the summer on one of my Thrifty Treasure Hunts from Plato’s Closet.

 

The slouch boots and the Army coat gives the dress just the street cred it needs! If needed I can also style the dress with some tights and pumps for work, or take it all the way to the gutter with some combat boots!

So, I actually wore this same look to church with out the Army coat. I must admit, I love shinny things! I am loving this glitter bomb, daytime sequins trend! Are you feeling it? How are you going to rock it? Or if you are not feeling it, tell us why? Leave a comment and let know! Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Phattystyle!

Talk to you later, but until then keep on shining! ✨

Know The Edge- How I Got Over Thining Edges

Girl, I lost my edges! Well not all, but my hair was really thinning out, like most women of color, I pride myself on laid edges and a good ponytail. But if those edges thin out, that ponytail ain’t so laid. I’d come to face these two identical thinning spots on both sides of my head, as a sign of the times. By times, I mean getting older. So, I tried to work around this now problematic area, I wore less ponytails, and when wearing a ponytail, I ensured it was not pulled too tightly or too low. But this wasn’t enough! I was losing strands and it was too noticeable to me!

I do not wear many protective styles, (not that I am against them), so besides a ponytail, my hair is never pulled tightly. I am a very proud LAZY natural, meaning, I typically do the least amount of work to take care of natural hair. My main goal is always healthy hair. I do not venture out and try a lot of different products, I know what works and usually stick with that, and if I try something new it’s usually in the same family. I stick to Leave in’s, oils, and cream. The LOC method guarantees healthy, hydrated hair.

But, recently some hair has begun sprouting in those thin spots! *Praise break*! So, I looked back over the past three years and I noticed a trend, I was STRESSED and it showed in my hair. In my last post, I discussed my bout of mild depression, and how I began to feel better with exercise. But, I had no clue the toll my hair would pay. Never the less, I am glad that the fight isn’t over and I AM NOT LOSING MY HAIR! This transition into new hair on my edges inspired me to help you with struggle edges, if you ever find yourself in my shoes, whether it is from stress, tight protective styles, weight loss surgery, etc. I am here for you:

 

  1. Oil and Stimulation

I live by Olive Oil . It’s good for your hair and to eat! So, it’s a two for one special in my house, I purchase the biggest bottles usually from Costco. I always rub olive oil throughout my hair, but during these crucial times, I rub a good amount on my edges and give my scalp a gentle massage. Stimulation promotes growth by getting the blood circulation going! So, this should be a weekly practice all over your head.

  1. Limit stress

Tune out the noise. Life can be a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes that roller coaster takes us on a drop we never expected. But, we have the power to limit stressers. Avoid bringing your work life into your home space, meditate and pray, pick up yoga , write it out. Whatever works, but we must release that negative energy!

  1. Drink Water

I can not stress it enough how important it is to drink water. It’s great for your hair, skin, and health. God put it here for a reason, so I trust His judgement!

  1. Protect your hair

    71-80 Ten protective style tips

When wearing a protective style, your main concern should always be your hair health. Before styling, properly wash, condition, and LOC it up. If braiding, be sure to tell your stylist to make sure not to pull on your edges, nape or scalp too tightly. Also avoid tight or low ponytails

Of course, you should always take precaution when it comes to hair health, but remember what goes on in the inside will always affect the outside! Don’t let stress claim your edges or time! Keep it cute!

 

-The Fit Fatty

How Exercise Can Help You Get Out Of You Grey Zone: Combat Depression

We are often only taught about major depression.  That identifiable grey cloud that follows you everywhere you go. You know the heavy feeling in your arms and legs. Or the dark not wanting to get out of bed or can’t face the world type. But there are several other types of depression some of them are more mild but they still have an affect on your life.

Mayo Clinic defines depression as: A mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.

 

About 2 percent of the American population has a form of depression that’s less severe than major depression, but is still very real. It’s called dysthymia.

 

Dysthymia is a type of depression that causes a low mood over a long period of time. It may last for a year or more. Most sufferers perform normally but just not optimally. Symptoms include sadness, trouble concentrating, fatigue, and changes in sleep habits and appetite.

 

This type of depression nearly  ruined my relationship. I went through a spell of depression for about  a year. But here’s the kicker – I had no idea I was depressed. The truth is, it just seeps in and becomes a part of you, before  you even know it. I didn’t feel sad or blue all the time, I was not crying uncontrollably, I didn’t miss milestones, nor fight myself to get out of bed. So how could I know that I was depressed? It wasn’t until I was on the other side of it that I realized what I had been delivered from. I started to realize that I hadn’t been myself.

While I was going through it, of course I could not see the effect that depression had on my relationship. Neither of us had any idea that I was suffering from depression, yet I was not myself and in return we were not who we once were.

 

Depression has left some residual effects, with many pieces to clean up, but one thing that has helped me is exercising. I began exercising for weight loss and eventually I realized without losing a significant amount of weight, that I was feeling much  better. Cardio always left me more energized and happier, but strength training is just a necessary evil (lol).

 

Although exercise was my catalyst to launch me out of the grey zone. Here are some other tips and ticks that can help to feed your soul:

 

  1. Unplug– Sometimes you just have to take a some time and let yourself destress from everyone. As a mom this isn’t always easy but you have to put yourself first so you can come back whole for everyone instead of giving them your half ass self.
  2. Day Dream– Allow yourself to remember the things you love and why. Imagine the possibilities of abundance God has for you. Create the biggest grandest vision of your life, and believe it’s available to you.
  3. Forget Perfect- This alone is freeing. Done is so much better than perfect, as long as you do the best you can do, allow yourself to be proud of your accomplishments. Remind yourself of your own natural  flawlessness and check out our post Born Flawless: Embrace Your Normal!
  4. Call A Friend- You can’t underestimate the effect a sound voice will have on your soul. Call a good friend that you can have a laugh with.
  5. Focus On A Hobby- Just the pleasure of doing something you love. Or learning something new will feed your body good vibes.
  6. Meditate- Sometimes I just do a quick 5 minute guided meditation. I pull one up on YouTube and lay down and breath.
  7. Get Moving- Even if you don’t have a gym membership, or have an hour to dedicate to a workout routine. Give yourself ten minutes and just dance or check out our post on 5 Yoga Poses To Get Your Day Going Right!

 

I’d stopped exercising for nearly a year and I noticed that I didn’t always feel as good, as I used too. But now that I am back at it, I realized the most important benefit of my exercise routine is my mental strength.

Let's jump into hump day right! 🙌🏾 Mid week motivation. My body has been doing some weird stuff these past three weeks, not too sure what's happen but I must adapt. The main thing that has thrown me off is the fact I'm barely eating. I decided regardless I have to. Taking care of my body is sooooo important, nothing to be taken lightly. Especially during this season where I am looking to lose weight and build strength. I'm doing my best to figure it out one day at a time! Some days are better than others but what matters is that I continually make an effort each and everyday! 😏 Don't let changes stop you from achieving your goals! When something changes, adapt and keep moving! 🏃🏾‍♀️Even better when you have a partner to motivate you! Tag teaming with my girl @evanssam89 #fitnessbuddies #lifewitjoy #healthyliving #afrogirlfitness

A post shared by Joyce Davies (@lifewitjoy) on

One additional benefit of the added energy is a renewed optimism to rebuild my life. So sometimes, depression isn’t ugly, it’s just not pretty. Don’t get stuck in the grey zone.

 

We’d love to hear some of your tips to helps stay out of the grey zone!

 

As always Love from The Fit Phatty

 

Wisdom Wednesday : Are You Missing Your Blessing?

“And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1:11-13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sped through the creation story, never recognizing the blessing in divine order. God created fruit beating trees, vegetation, and plants yielding seed .i.e “food” days before there was anything living to eat the food. Three days before creating man,on the 6th day, and two days before creating the animals on the fifth day.

On the third day God provided provision. Before there was even a need. He had not yet created Adam and Eve yet he made provisions for them.

This is exactly the way God makes provision for us! Well in advance of our need, God has already provided the “food”. But how often are we speeding by the creation because it seems insignificant?

Or maybe we have a picture of what said blessing should look like, so we can’t acknowledge the blessing when it shows up, because it’s not packaged the way we think it should be.

Well, we know what happened to the last “people” that rejected a blessing because it didn’t appear they way they thought it should right? Ok then, enough said.

The challenge for us is to see the provision and care, even when it is different than we expect, because God is God, his ways are not like our ways, and His thought are higher than our thoughts.

First we must have faith. When we put your faith in Christ, God commissions himself to protect, provide, and care for us.

When you put your faith in Christ, the bible tells us we will have what ever we so desire. God always provides for his children, though often it is not in the way we expect or hope.

So as I bring this message to a close I leave you with the following scripture

Matthew‬ ‭7:7-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

And lastly, always seek God!

Born Flawless : Embrace Your Normal

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

First and foremost God loves you and

“You were born flawless”

Auntie Oprah likes to say babies come into the world trailing the breath of Angels. They know they are born flawless.

As we grow through life and experiences we get imprinted with images, encounters and other people’s  beliefs and  ideas which cause us to question our flawless-ness. These people who imprint their beliefs, and fears on our psyche, sometimes think they are doing us a favor.

I’m not just talking about tramatic or drastic things. Sometimes these are subtle consistant themes or words that we hear or are being told that slowly seep into our being. And before you know it, you and self doubt are old roommates!

Self doubt can hold you hostage. Usually there are two extremes. Either you exhaust your self trying to over compensate for your feelings of inadequacy. Or you become paralyzed with fear of failure and never step out on faith.

You end up standing by, questioning every thought and watching everyone else get what God has for them. Sometimes this can ever make you bitter, or worst yet, you become a hater! You hate on any and everything because you can’t find your joy. But all you have to do is realize that it’s you that holds your own self back!

How to have a totally awesome life 👉 ( old post same thoughts)

You need only to make a decision to seek your own happiness!

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown

Here are three steps to embracing your normal:

#1 The first step is to stop comparing yourself to others! Their normal is not your normal. Even identical twins are not completely the same. There is no other human being that has your specific gifts and talents. What God gave you is uniquely created to bring forth your purpose.

#2 Stop questioning yourself!  You are more than enough. Don’t let that imposter syndrome make you believe that,  what you have is not for you. Consider God’s grace. When you feel undeserving, that’s a reminder to be grateful! God’s Grace has shined upon you. Give God The Glory!

#3 Forget trying to be perfect! I’m not saying don’t do your best, but your best is as perfect as it gets. If you start taking the steps towards your dreams, have faith that God will magnify them. I remember as a young parent, I would have a certain vision in mind that I want to create for my children.  I’d  get as much as I could, but not the way I had envisioned. So in my mind,  I would immediately start thinking of apologies for not being good enough. And before I could open my mouth to apologize, they were thanking me and showing me how grateful they were.

So remember short, tall or bald, you are flawless! Big belly, flat booty,skinny legs, big legs, you are still flawless! Walk in your beauty and embrace your normal!

 

Love others as you love yourself, but you must first love yourself!

 

Fit Phatty: 5 Tips To A Healthier You

We have all heard that being healthy has nothing to do with your weight. Even though the societal view is that fatter woman are undesirable and unhealthy. It’s all about the narrative that you allow to replay in your head…but I digress. I’ll save that conversation for another time. However some of us have to fight our fat on a daily basis. Between genetics, medical conditions, and lifestyle, it’s just not easy to be ” thin” or a healthy weight ( whatever that is for you) with out working at it. Try not to worry so much about having a flat tummy as having a healthy life. Aside from getting a surgery, or taking a prescription medicine, I will always have to employ tools to help me stay on track.

There will be set backs and fall offs, but always remember with health, every effort is a good effort! I’ve been on a weight yo-yo for majority of my life, (but I wish I was as fat as I was when I thought I was too fat!). It has not been easy to maintain the best healthy lifestyle. It’ so easy to fall into a pattern of not counting calories or exercising.  My biggest challenge of all is of course not eating bad. But my body tells me she’s wants a clean detox.  So I get back at it.

Here are my 5 ways that I get back in the fight with this fat!

1. Count those calories!
I use My Fitness Pal. It is really simple to set up an account with My Fitness Pal if you haven’t already done so! There is no pressure with the app, it’s all self-discipline. I get to keep track of my current weight and goal weight. By going day by day tracking my food and exercise practice (and the lack of exercise) My Fitness Pal then gives me an estimated number that I can weigh in a certain number of weeks if I maintain my day (good or bad). It’s good motivation.

2. Measure your food!
This is important to be able to keep track of your calories easily. If you don’t have a scale for food, buy one. I also use my measuring cup to measure food!
3. Don’t starve!

If you feel hungry, eat! There are good carbs out there! Instead of an unhealthy snack grab some nuts, a fruit, or even a baked sweet potato! Whatever you enjoy, keep track in your food diary.

 

4. Get moving! The more you move, the more calories you burn. Aim for at least 30 mins a day of cardio and strength training, and aim to walk around more. If you don’t join a gym you can exercise right at home using www.pinterest.com for work out ideas.

#Mood for the week! 🙌🏽Let's go!!!! #rp @abraham_mcdonald

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5. Invest in health!
Living a healthy lifestyle takes effort, but it is worth it. Purchase some hand weights and a few different exercise equipment for home such as a jump rope, resistance bands, ankle weights, kettlebell, etc. (even if you are a gym rat, keep equipment in the house.) You can even purchase bigger equipment such as a stationary bike, treadmill, elliptical, etc., on www.craigslist.org if you rather get it at a cheaper price!

Remember don’t  let the media or scale define you. You must love yourself at every stage of your life. Loving yourself means do not be so hard or yourself. There is a difference between discipline and punishment. And keeping a healthy body is the ultimate form of love.
Most importantly remember to rest. You burn calories in your sleep, but most importantly, you cannot run on fumes. Living a healthy lifestyle requires all of you, mentally, emotionally, and physically. It will be frustrating some days, and stagnant too. But keeping that body healthy is the main goal.

You rarely see bodies in this position, let alone a body that looks like mine. We're conditioned to think about how we look ALL the time, especially when taking photos. Truth is, our bodies fluctuate through the day & we'll look different in different lighting and different angles. It's SO draining trying to slim down a double chin, suck in your stomach or position your arms so they look smoother and slimmer. Photos are supposed to capture & to create a memory. They aren't supposed to be perfect and curated all the time. When I look back at this photo I'll remember feeling confident and worthy and loved. I'll remember feeling emotionally strong but vulnerable enough to allow my insecurities to fuel me. I'll also remember a body that has been able to carry me through the good times and the bad times, through the trauma & through therapy. A body that has protected me from others, but that has also protected me from myself. A body thats maybe "too much" or "too large" but a body that houses courage, kindness and love. And maybe all of those things are so strong and powerful that a bigger vessel is needed to carry them 💗 #iamenough

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Remember grab that water and cheers to health!