Can we talk about good hair and bad hair ? What is good hair anyway? What is bad hair? I know some of you all will read that and answer “no hair is bad”! So, if there is no such thing as bad or ugly hair, why do we say “so and so” has pretty hair? What are we comparing this pretty hair too?
Most people of color refer to thinner hair with loose curls and/or waves to be considered pretty or good hair. Majority of the time, this statement is considered a compliment. But is it really?
All hair texture is different, but when we say that a certain curly has beautiful hair, what are we saying about that the next curly girl with a tighter curl pattern and/or coarser hair? Can she not have pretty hair? Are we underhandedly insulting our sista?
I’ve heard it all, and most women have a love hate relationship with their hair. Its either too kinky, too thin, too thick, too curly, too straight, too flat, too big, etc.
Yet, we always work it out and end up with a hand full of compliments.
Our community tends to segregate hair textures with certain curls being the “best” and other curls feeling isolated. When are we going to realize we are all in this together. The natural hair community is just as segregated as all the rest. We want to accept one form of natural hair, as if you can’t accept it all.
This journey back to loving our natural hair is not an easy one for a lot of us. It starts with self acceptance. It may seem easy on social media or for your favorite blogger, but the hardest battle is fighting yourself. You almost have to go back retrain your thoughts on everything you have learned when it came to hair care. Most of us were never taught to care for our hair. Even worse we don’t know how to love our hair. If your experience was anything like mine, your hair was always someone’s “problem issue”. What are we going to do with her hair? Who’s going to do her hair? Or if you wash it,I’ll do it? ….it was always a struggle so of course I adopted by that same struggle narrative.
I’ve said before, it wasn’t until I was faced with the prospect of loosing my hair, due to a chronic illness, that I began to fall in love with my hair like never before! I learned to listen to her in all her beautiful mane- nificent glory!
I’ll admit it before the world, I love my hair! I love hair period. I’m a hair person! Always have been! I literally see a persons hair before I see them. *don’t judge me* it could be worst. *smiles*
So, when you see that sista girl rocking her fro as you stare with a tinge of hair envy, pay her a compliment because you recognize her struggle. Recognize her efforts!
This natural hair movement is so huge, that it makes everyone uncomfortable, including yourself. You still struggle with taming your hair, for fear that you will stand out in corporate America, or even get kicked out of school for looking “unkept”. You have to learn to roll and twist your hair just good enough so that you can still please the eyes of others. As a natural you are not allowed to have a bad hair day, as if you ever had 100% perfect hair days before returning back to your natural state.
What’s funnier, the people who surround you tend to be more nervous about your natural hair journey than you are. This hair movement is scary, yet exciting, but still surprising, because everyday you never know what you will end up with (lol). Sometimes we set expectations too high and some days it’s overly frustrating. We all need the support of our hair community.
No one thinks of the struggle when you transition or chop your hair off. You amaze yourself when you realize you have no idea, how to take care of your own hair the way it is without any chemicals or heat. I know it isn’t easy for any woman to maintain the perfect hair, so we praise a good protective style, but in the end you still need to know how to maintain healthy hair. Our minds have been so conditioned with pretty hair vs ugly hair, that we fail to see the beauty in all our natural hair. Your natural curls may not match my natural curls, and my curls may not match the straight hair of the model on the latest magazine, but having hair, that we are able to grow without too much struggle is beautiful itself.
I’m sure we all have heard “natural hair isn’t for everyone”, but when you think about it, how is your hair that God gave you not for you, because it isn’t what the world may consider beautiful?
So, again next time you see someone with that “pretty hair”, that hair that she struggled to comb, failed to moisturize the night before, woke up frustrated and hoping she could tame it enough to be accepted, just know she might not see pretty hair, I know it’s beautiful and she should too.
. Let’s do away with this ugly hair stereotype. Let go of these turns like good and bad hair! What ever your hair texture what ever your hair type, what ever your hair style, love it, rock it, and make it your own! And as the old kitchen beauticians you to say after they got finished lacing you with the piff ” more hair” !
What do you consider good hair? Does length, texture, or density come into the equation? Let us know what you consider “Good Hair” ?