Tag: #longhair

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly: The Good Hair Post

Can we talk about good hair and bad hair ? What is good hair anyway? What is bad hair? I know some of you all will read that and answer “no hair is bad”! So, if there is no such thing as bad or ugly hair, why do we say “so and so” has pretty hair? What are we comparing this pretty hair too?

Most people of color refer to thinner hair with loose curls and/or waves to be considered pretty or good hair. Majority of the time, this statement is considered a compliment. But is it really?

All hair texture is different, but when we say that a certain curly has beautiful hair, what are we saying about that the next curly girl with a tighter curl pattern and/or coarser hair? Can she not have pretty hair? Are we underhandedly insulting our sista?

I’ve heard it all, and most women have a love hate relationship with their hair. Its either too kinky, too thin, too thick, too curly, too straight, too flat, too big, etc.
Yet, we always work it out and end up with a hand full of compliments.

Our community tends to segregate hair textures with certain curls being the “best” and other curls feeling isolated. When are we going to realize we are all in this together. The natural hair community is just as segregated as all the rest. We want to accept one form of natural hair, as if you can’t accept it all.

This journey back to loving our natural hair is not an easy one for a lot of us. It starts with self acceptance. It may seem easy on social media or for your favorite blogger, but the hardest battle is fighting yourself. You almost have to go back retrain your thoughts on everything you have learned when it came to hair care. Most of us were never taught to care for our hair. Even worse we don’t know how to love our hair. If your experience was anything like mine, your hair was always someone’s “problem issue”. What are we going to do with her hair? Who’s going to do her hair? Or if you wash it,I’ll do it? ….it was always a struggle so of course I adopted by that same struggle narrative.

I’ve said before, it wasn’t until I was faced with the prospect of loosing my hair, due to a chronic illness, that I began to fall in love with my hair like never before! I learned to listen to her in all her beautiful mane- nificent glory!

I’ll admit it before the world, I love my hair! I love hair period. I’m a hair person! Always have been! I literally see a persons hair before I see them. *don’t judge me* it could be worst. *smiles*

So, when you see that sista girl rocking her fro as you stare with a tinge of hair envy, pay her a compliment because you recognize her struggle. Recognize her efforts!

This natural hair movement is so huge, that it makes everyone uncomfortable, including yourself. You still struggle with taming your hair, for fear that you will stand out in corporate America, or even get kicked out of school for looking “unkept”. You have to learn to roll and twist your hair just good enough so that you can still please the eyes of others. As a natural you are not allowed to have a bad hair day, as if you ever had 100% perfect hair days before returning back to your natural state.

What’s funnier, the people who surround you tend to be more nervous about your natural hair journey than you are. This hair movement is scary, yet exciting, but still surprising, because everyday you never know what you will end up with (lol). Sometimes we set expectations too high and some days it’s overly frustrating. We all need the support of our hair community.

No one thinks of the struggle when you transition or chop your hair off. You amaze yourself when you realize you have no idea, how to take care of your own hair the way it is without any chemicals or heat. I know it isn’t easy for any woman to maintain the perfect hair, so we praise a good protective style, but in the end you still need to know how to maintain healthy hair. Our minds have been so conditioned with pretty hair vs ugly hair, that we fail to see the beauty in all our natural hair. Your natural curls may not match my natural curls, and my curls may not match the straight hair of the model on the latest magazine, but having hair, that we are able to grow without too much struggle is beautiful itself.

I’m sure we all have heard “natural hair isn’t for everyone”, but when you think about it, how is your hair that God gave you not for you, because it isn’t what the world may consider beautiful?

So, again next time you see someone with that “pretty hair”, that hair that she struggled to comb, failed to moisturize the night before, woke up frustrated and hoping she could tame it enough to be accepted, just know she might not see pretty hair, I know it’s beautiful and she should too.

. Let’s do away with this ugly hair stereotype. Let go of these turns like good and bad hair! What ever your hair texture what ever your hair type, what ever your hair style, love it, rock it, and make it your own! And as the old kitchen beauticians you to say after they got finished lacing you with the piff ” more hair” !

What do you consider good hair? Does length, texture, or density come into the equation? Let us know what you consider “Good Hair” ?

5 Steps To Spring Your Hair Back From The Coldest Winter Ever

imageIs it just me or has Mother Nature been putting us to the test? The other day I was so excited that it was finally warm, I check the temperature and it read 28 degrees! Is this possible? Yes, we have been so bombarded with these frigid temperatures that 28 degrees actually felt warm! And our poor frozen tresses!image They have been snowed on, tucked, pulled, and in some cases rubbed out. These are the things we do to our hair under our normal winter weather conditions. But what have we done during “The Coldest Winter Ever”? (Yes, I loved the book) In the Northeastern part of the U.S. We have experienced the most occurrences of below zero temperatures for the month of February since the 1800’s! We have had a record settings 21 snow storms!

Oh I am so glad we made it through, but how did your hair hold up? Because of the colder temperatures some of us don’t treat our hair as well as we should in the Winter. We don’t wash it as much, so we aren’t giving it the conditioning it needs and replacing the moisture that’s naturally lost from being exposed to the colder dryer air.

Very many of us employ protective styling during this time, but this can also be damaging to certain parts of the hair, such as the edges and nape area. Also we love to wear very stylish and most of all warm hats and big knit and wool scarves during the Winter, and most of us don’t have the satin lining in them, or wear a satin scarf under the hat. This is what we call a necessary evil, we have to wrap up and keep warm. image

So now what? Spring is coming and the hats are coming off, and those protective styles are coming out. It’s time for the big reveal!

 

Step one:

The Tress Lover Treatment: Give her a full on 5 part love session! Pre-poo, Hydrating Sulfate Free Shampoo, Comb Through Conditioner, Deep Condition, and LOC Method. This may sound like a lot but sometimes it’s just was the hair doctor ordered.

That Blessed Oil– This one is a fav because, in classic Mrsphatandnaptural style, it’s easy! Lol. Hey what can I say, at least I’m consistent: you simply fill your spray bottle with ¼ cup of Olive Oil, and 1 cup of water! Throughly saturate your hair with the mixture. Comb through with a wide-tooth comb, pile loosely on the top of your head, and put on a plastic cap, or wrap your head with plastic film or even a plastic store bag. You can sit under the dryer for 10-15 minutes, let it sit for 20-30 minutes without heat, or I’ve even slept with it overnight. If you sleep with it, be sure to protect your pillows with extra towels, and plastic bags.

Guacamole – Not really, it’s an avocado mask, but when I make this its all I can think about, 🙂 yes I’m fat, don’t judge me! You take a small ripe avocado, mash it good with, olive oil, and or castor oil. You can heat this one up before you apply it. Section your hair imageinto 8-10 sections and apply 1 section at a time. Either finger comb or use a wide tooth comb to pull the mixture through to the ends of your hair. Put on your plastic ( bag, cap, wrap) wrap your head with a hot towel, and let it sit for 20-30 minutes. You can heat the towel in the microwave.

Egg Mask- This is an oldie but goodie for me. My Cosmetology teacher, Mrs. Iozzi was big on this for her long bleached Jersey hair back in the 90’s when I was in school. It worked then and it still does. You mix 1 or 2 eggs depending on the length of your hair, with one to 2 tablespoons of olive oil, and about a cup of water. You can also add mayonnaise which is just eggs and oil. You apply it throughout your hair massaging it into your hair and scalp for about 15-20 minutes. Then rinse out with warm water. Warning !!! If the wateimager is too hot the eggs will cook into your head. Yes, I’ve made this mistake.

image

Step Two:

Cleansing is very important to your hair health, there is a lot of debate about whether or not shampoo is necessary. Fimageor the sake of this post, I say find a good Sulfate Free shampoo, and get to cleansing. I did a post on my four favorite shampoos under $12 when I first went natural,( feel free to check them out !) I also love Cantu, Shea Butter cleansing cream shampoo, and the Carol’s Mirabella Plum shampoo. They are both Sulfate-free, have great lather and are both very reasonable price points. As my hair gets longer the easiest way to wash my hair is in sections. I try to do at least 4 sections, and wash it one section at a time.

Step Three:

Rinse out conditioner, again I love the Cantu Shea Butter hydrating cream conditioner, or Shea Moisture Tahitian Monoi. Froesha (my hair) has a personal favorite it’s Jessi Curl Too Shea extra moisturizing conditioner. She responds very well to miss Too Shea! Just run it through you hair for about 3-5 minutes. You can use the wide tooth comb, (I do) or you can just finger detangle, but it’s important to feel the slip of the conditioner on your hair, makeimage sure it’s well coated, then rinse out.I know this seem like a lot, but that’s why it’s called love! You are showering your tresses with the much deserved love she deserves and beside so far we are only 45 minutes into the process! You are so worth this me time!

Step Four:

Deep conditioning, so we did the rinse out to detangle and coat the hair, now we are going to do a deep condition to treat her well.

Banana Smoothie: yes you read that correctly. In your blender mix 1 banana, I can of coconut milk,and ¼ cup of honey. Blend until the mixture is smooth. I always add some olive oil, because, Idk why not. Lol, I personally do it because it loosens it up and makes it easier for me to manage.

For the less adventurous there is a lot of great off the shelf products you can use, this is an area where it’s best not to skimp. Your hair will tell the story. I would recommend any and all of these that can even be found at your local drug store, Target or Walmart. Shea Moisture deep treatment mask, Cantu Shea Butter deep treatment mask, or Organix Macadamia oil hydrateing deep treatment mask. I use Carol’s Daughter Monoi repairing mask. I leave it on for about 4image5 minutes to an hour, or you can sit under the dryer 25 minutes. Then rinse out.

Step Five:

This last step is the LOC Method. If you’ve read the post Top Five Ways To Take The Fuss Out of Fabulousness you know what this is. It does just what it says it LOCs the moisture into your hair. So far I’m sold on the process. It’s a process of layering product on your hair and the last step seimageals it in. Because it’s done on wet hair, the product penetrates the hair shaft. The products vary, but basically the process works. Your style really does not matter with this process. It works with wash n go, braids, twist/braid outs, and even blow drying. The key is to throughly coat the hair with each layer. Layer one is the leave-in conditioner, layer two is the oil, layer three is the cream. Apply each layer and comb the hair. If you’ve never tried it, you are in for a pleasant surprise. Your hair will thank you!

There 1 hour 20 minutes, to spring that hair right out of it’s Winter blues. If you haven’t done a trim lately this is a good time to do a little dusting. Some Curlies do this every month, I usually only trim during the change of the season. For me this works, but you may need more or less, as I always say, you have to listen to your hair. She will tell you what she wants. I don’t know about you but I am so looking forward to shedding all things Winter, clothes, hair, and all.

I hope you were informed, encouraged, and inspired. Please leave your questions and comments below. For more information like us on Facebook, and check us out on Instagram and Twitter.

imageAs for now get those tresses ready for spring and Fuss-less Fabulousity! See ya Phatty!