Tag: #curly

101 Natural Hair Tip: How To Avoid Being A Product Junkie 51-60

I can’t front, I’ve definitely had to put these tips into practice. This is one of those posts that was built from experience. Now this post is a direct follow-up to the 101 Natural Hair Tips: Transitioning Back To Natural. In case you missed it (click here) .

Trying to find the right product is no easy task. You get so frustrated thinking you’ve tried everything and nothing is working, when really you just need to find the right thing for you and stick to it for a while. So that was the bonus tip now let’s get into the rest.

101 Natural Hair Tips: How to avoid being a Product JunkieTips

1. Read labels: The reason I start with this is because you can all together avoid certain products. Such as if I see something with coconut oil in it, most times I avoid it. I know that coconut oil doesn’t work for my hair so I just avoid products with it in the first couple items on the ingredient label.
2. Get to know your hair: I always say listen to your hair. If you use a product and it agrees with your hair, stick to it. Read that label and use products like it.

101 Natural Hair Tips: How to avoid being a Product JunkieTips

3. Don’t believe the hype: Every few months there is a new buzz word or super ingredient. Many times this item has been on the ingredient list the whole time, but now that it’s the IN thing they put it on the label. Also I’ve learned that they nearly have to put in a few drops of the said miracle ingredient to have its claim on the label.
4.  Read Reviews – Now this is different from number 3, these are actual reviews from people who have legitimately used the product. I know everything isn’t for every body, but if you see a lot of favorable reviews, you may want to give it a try. But on the other hand, if no one has good things to say, maybe you should let that one slide by you.
5. Ask questions – There are so many Curltalk, CurlfriendChats, and Twitter Chats, use them to your advantage. That’s what they are there for. Just about every brand subscription box and a lot of bloggers have some kind of Q&A session in rotation. Or if you belong to a Facebook Group for natural hair, throw your question into the forum.

101 Natural Hair Tips: How to avoid being a Product JunkieTips

6. Try to get  samples: That way you can test it out and see if you like it before buying it. Now when I first found out about the natural hair community, the “natural hair meetup” was the thing to do. There you could meet local Naturalista, brand owners, and emerging socialprenures. Additionally these meetups would be sponsored by brands and they would give out swag bags full of samples and free full size bottles. The meetups aren’t as popular any more but they are still around.

7. If you have it use it: This one is a no brainer, avoid the hoard! Plain and simple, why keep piling up products when you haven’t used what you have.

101 Natural Hair Tips: How to avoid being a Product JunkieTips

8. If it doesn’t work pass it on: Again this one is a no brainer for me. I frequently pass product along to my family members that doesn’t work for me. We all have different hair textures and different products work on their hair that may not work on mine and vice versa.  So I don’t hold on to the products that I know don’t work for me. Thereby making room for other things that will work.

101 Natural Hair Tips: How to avoid being a Product JunkieTips

9. Limit the available space: Unless you’ve been there you can’t imagine how quickly the hair products can and will take up every inch of space possible. I don’t know it’s almost like they reproduce while your sleeping or something **insert mischievous laugh*** . No but really, I have a three draw bin and I’ve committed to only keeping as much as can fit in those three draws.
10. Purge every 3-6 months: This keeps your product fresh, and limits the habit of holding on to that last little bit (I’m talking to myself here). As I said above this makes room for product that you want to try. Besides if the product is organic it may have an expiration date, and you don’t want to use old product or hold onto something that’s useless.

101 Natural Hair Tips: How to avoid being a Product JunkieTips

 

It’s almost inevitable that most naturals have a little product junkie in us. Besides the fact that it’s expensive, it could also lead to self-defeating hair journey. Not to mention as with any guilty pleasure it takes some of the joy from the experience. Don’t let the junkie monkey get you down!

101 Natural Hair Tips: Wash Day Hair Tips 21-30

First things first…confession time. As much as I love my hair, I am not a lover of the wash day tango! I’ve heard the argument.

101 Natural Hair Tips: Wash Day

” If you don’t love your washday, maybe you need to change your regemin”.

 

I think there may be some truth to that statement, but in my case I can’t agree. I’ve never liked washday, even when I was a kid. My hair has always been very thick and adding water is my kryptonite!  Unfortunately for me there is no way around it, to have hhealthy hair, you have to keep it cleansed. Since returning to natural I’ve found a few tips and tricks that help cut down on time and stress to my tresses. BT dubs, this is also post 3 in series of 10 billion on 101 Natural Hair Tips. For now check out our washday tips and I’ll link the other post ( Natural Hair Basics 1 and 2) at then end of the post.

 

21. Detangle Hair before washing.

I’m sure you’ve heard this one before, but it’s the number one tip to reduce hair loss and cut down on wash time. Section the hair into as many sections as needed ( usually 4-6). Depending on how tangled my hair is I sometimes start with as many as eight and combine a few of them in larger chunky twists as I go along. Try added some conditioner and water to aide in the process. Use a clip to pin up the completed section.

 

Freshly washed 🙌🏽 proud of myself for getting wash day out the way this early 🙃

A post shared by Alia 💋 (@_naturalia) on

22.Detangle using a wide tooth comb, detangling brush, or your fingers.

My fingers are my magic tool of choice. When using your fingers, you get to feel the hair as you are detagling. However I also love detangling combs and brushes. The wider the tooth the better. Make sure your comb or bush doesn’t have any missing or broken teeth. They could snag or pull on your hair and cause damage to your strands. I usually end up with 4 sections.

23. Start detangling from ends and work towards the root.

There is one very simple rule in place here. Don’t comb from the root to tip. By starting at the ends and working your way up the shaft it minimizes hair loss. The most effective technique that I have found is to add the conditioner, and finger detangle under running water.

24. Wash your hair in the sections

This simple step will avoid retangling your tresses. Apply the shampoo at the root and work towards the ends. Make sure to cleanse the scalp, by gently massaging the scalp with your finger tips. Then work the later down the twist to the ends. Avoid using a circular motion this can encourage tangles and clumping of the hair.

 

25. Use sulfate free shampoo, cowashs, or ACV rinses to cleanse your hair.

Now I’m not hear to agrue for or against either method. I’ve used all three and they all work. However, if you find that your normal products aren’t working you may need to do a clarifying shampoo. I do one every 2 or 3 months.

26. After shampooing spray hair with olive oil.

After shampooing but before conditioning, run some Olive oil through your hair. I find this helps with manageability and softness,especially between deep conditioning. Rinse all the shampoo out. Run some Olive oil through your hair. Work down the shaft, the rinse.

27. Apply conditioner with praying hands method.

I know it sound weird but just give it a try. It will decrease the opportunity for tangles, as well as coax the cuticle to lay flat. The cleaning process raises the cuticle, and now we need to make sure it starts the process of closing to lock in the moisture.

101 Natural Hair Tips: wash day

28. Deep condition with heat.

Adding heat helps to penetrate the hair shaft increasing the  effectivness of the product. If you don’t have a hooded dryer, use a plastic cap, or plastics bags and use your own body heat.

29. Be careful of protein overload.

Although protein is good for your hair, you don’t want to over do it. I’ve read if the label says “repair” wither its a DC or a leave in, it has protein in it. Too much protein will cause excessive drying and damage. It’s almost as bad as heat damage, which ironically protein prevents…but that’s for a future post.

30. Document The Process !

I can’t stress this enough. I can’t tell you how much impact this will have on increasing the amount of good hair days. It’s like cooking from a recipe verses cooking from memory. By keeping a simple hair journal of what products you used and how you used them, you’ll easily be able to figure out what works and what doesn’t.

Now here’s to an easier washday! For more tips click the links below.

Natural hair basics 1-10

Natural hair basics 11-20

Don’t forget to check us out on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest for more washday tips!

 

 

 

 

Hey Girl! Believe In Your Magic

Black girls are lit

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season upon us, we have to be careful to make time to keep ourselves spiritual strong.  Sometimes we women loose ourselves trying to meet all the needs of those around us. We serve our husbands, children, bosses, and communities and we forget or are just too tired to serve ourselves. I know for me, doing things for myself makes me feel a little guilty at times. But when the guilt starts to seep in, I just remember who I am.  I remember that I can do anything and everything I decide to do. My grandmother use to say ” you just have to set your mind to it”

You do know you are what dreams are made of right? You are magic! You have that thing that only you have that makes you special! That’s your magic! You can’t let fear, doubt, guilt, are anything else take your magic.

I love words of affirmation, so when I found this poem It reminded  me of the beauty I posses. Everyone should feel this way about themselves.

Black girls are lit

My Pledge of Allegiance to Me
Written by Letitia L. Hodge
There’s more to me than the human eye can see.
I’m a woman of purpose and destiny.
A perfect design, I’m special and unique.
I won’t be identified by the parts that make
up my physique.

Black girls are lit
My beauty is not defined by my skin or my hair
and my soul has more value than
the clothes that I wear.
I’m not a symbol of pleasure or sex appeal;
I have the natural ability to comfort
and the power to heal.
When God made me, He created a gem
because He fashioned me in the likeness of Him.
I refuse to do anything that will put God to shame.
I deserve to be treated with reverence
and called by my name.

Black girls are lit
I can’t be purchased or sold at any price
because I’ve already been bought and paid
for by the precious blood of Christ!
I praise You because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made.
(Psalm 139:14)

Black girls are lit

Ya feel me? Better yet do you feel yourself? Stay in your magic and Be blessed💋

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself: I’m Not A Blogger, I’m A Resource

What’s good my good people? It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. It’s been 7 weeks, and in blog life that like 2 years lol. Allow my to reintroduce myself.

My name is Uhura. I am the founder of Mrsphatandnaptural, and I’m not a blogger. I’m a resource.

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself
Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself

My hiatus started with me trying to find my way through mourning the loss of a good friend. I told myself I needed to take some time to deal with what I was feeling. The days rolled into weeks and here we are! During these weeks I had to reevaluate my direction and revisit my motivation for starting this platform.

Here’s my why: Originally the idea started out of my frustration in trying to find a dress for a friend’s wedding.I felt as if there were limited options for me. Most of the dresses weren’t flattering, and even fewer were fashionably up to date. Everything I found made me feel older, bigger, or out of fashion. I was so discouraged by the process that I ended up not going to the wedding. When I began my transition to natural hair, I struggled with finding the right products, routine, and regime to get my hair healthy and fit for public viewing. I knew I had to do something for other women struggling with these issues.

I'm Not A Blogger

I'm Not A Blogger image

I'm A Resource
I’m A Resource

 

It is God’s will I have a blog. My objective is first and foremost to honor my purpose and spread the word of God’s Love. Second is combination showcase and information platform for my Sisters. This has been such a blessing to me, I have virtually and physically meet so many people whom have enriched my life. My prayer is that I have done the same for someone else. I hope you love the ride as much as I do. Thank you for being with me.

Be Blessed

International Natural Hair Meetup Day 2016- Fros Friends and Fun In Montclair NJ

INHMD Montclair NJ 2016

Hey Sis Girl!

I just have to say I am still on a high from the experience of basking in the presence of over 150 women representing NJ Curlfriends. We had a ball! I surly hope everyone got more than they expected because I sure did! It was 4 hours of entertainment, education, shopping, food, and dancing! All while celebrating our fellow sisters and a few brothers lol, in a positive encouraging space. What’s better than that?


Speaking of the space, the place was beautiful! For the third year Cabriella from International Hair Design was the ever gracious New Jersey Host for the Montclair NJ leg of this 40 city, 3 country, 3 continent affair. It was held in the Montclair State University Conference Center! Surrounded on two sides with massive window that seem to reach the sky! If you could imagine it was elegantly casual! Yeah that’s it! Although the space is obviously a beautiful state of the art space, the warm nature and inclusive vibe made it ok to let your guard down and bare and share in the wealth of love, information, and kinship.

Thirty-Five Curlfriends purchased VIP admission which gave them early entry,a VIP reception,  as well as swag bags sponsored by the INHMD 2016 title sponsors with full sized products from Made Beautiful, Eden Bodyworks, and others!INHMD NJ

What’s a movie with out a soundtrack? DJ Twin kept us rocking with his Jersey blend of Club and Soul tunes.

We started the day off with New Jersey based motivation speaker Iamlunic. She set the room a blaze with her energy! Unfortunately, I was so caught up in her speech that I didn’t think to record her!

Iamlunic
Iamlunic

Next up was Quality Healthcare, who spoke about the heart health. As you must have heard Heart Disease is the leading cause of death for African American Women.

There were 2 demos, first was a hair demo by Scarlet of Wondercurl. She demonstrated a wash n go style using her hair products.

Next was local Naturalist and Holistic Hair Healer Ahava Feliciadad. Her presentation was “natural” is a four letter word, F. R. E. E. She spoke about the freedom of being natural.
There were many vendors selling everything from skinny tea, butters, African fashions, and the most beautiful clutches and earrings!


I was honored to be one of two New Jersey based bloggers to be in the Social Media Lounge. It was Spencer ( Curly Empress) and myself. Curlfriends that came over to our corner were gifted mini hair journals or detangling combs. The first visitors were also gifted a full size bottle leave-in sponsored none other than the maker of my favorite scalp and hair oil Janomi hair products. Thanks to Adrienne of Janomi 2 other Curlfriends also received full sized bottles of the oil! We also had a selfie station set up with our Glam light.

The final segment was a question and answer panel where we got to answer direct questions from Curlfriend regarding, working out with natural hair, hair porosity, dryness, and so on. Missed out on the fun? No worries, I got you! Although INHMD is only once a year, if you are following us on social media👉 ( Instagram,Facbook, Twitter ) we will be sure to keep you updated on all the latest happening!

 

INHMD Montclair NJ 2016 INHMD Montclair NJ 2016 INHMD Montclair NJ 2016 INHMD Montclair NJ 2016 INHMD Montclair NJ 2016 INHMD Montclair NJ 2016 INHMD Montclair NJ 2016 INHMD Montclair NJ 2016

 

 

February Empties -6 Products I’m Loving To Fight Dry Hair This Winter

image

It’s no secret that hair sheds more in the colder temps of winter, and to top all it off; the cold air will freeze the water on your tresses and snap them right off! One of the biggest factors is dryness,which is caused by inadequate protection from the cold air. This is what I like to call the “winter fall off”. In urban slang, to “fall off” means you are not looking your best. If you are slipping, one would say he or she “fell off”. This term is also literal, your hair will Fall Off your head! This is why so many people do those protective style challenges in the colder months.

👉Click Here For “Don’t Fall Off” Tips on winter hair care. 😜

Here are 6 products that get the Mrsphatandnaptural lazy natural stamp of approval to combat the “Winter Fall Off”.
All of these products can be found at your local beauty supply or drug store hair care isle:

  • 1. Sheamoisture Superfruit Complex 10 n 1 Renewal System- Hair and Scalp Serum. This little baby here is the truth! I was introduced to this item in one of my swag bags from a Kinks n Drinks event given by Tribe Called Curl. As usual I had the bottle for months and never touched it. But as I searched for a proper winter hair regimen I decided to give it a try. Oh was I pleased! I’ll start with the down side, it’s in a little glass bottle with a dropper and I must have spilled it fifty – leven times! Other than that it works wonders, I mostly used it as a pre poo, but I’ve also run a few drops through my hair as moisturizer during daily styling. It smells heavenly, and the scent lasts all day!
  • 2. Sheamoisture Superfruit Complex 10 n 1 Renewal System- Shampoo & Conditioner with Marula Oil & Biotin. I love together. The shampoo lathers well, and cleanses very good with out stripping the hair. Down side, it’s not that thick out of the bottle, so I had to get use to not wasting it as I poured it into my hands. The conditioner is also awesome, it has great slip, and does a good job adding softness to my hair.February Empties
  • 3. NuNaat- Garlic Magic Leave In. Yes garlic, no it does not smell like garlic! I was introduced to this in my Return Of The Curls swag bag. I wrote to them and they sent me the entire Garlic Magic line. Although I didn’t care for the other products, I love the Leave in! It softened my hair and kept it moisturized and manageable. I used it as my first step in my LOC Method (Leave in, Oil, Cream)February Empties
  • 4. Tropic Isle Living- Jamaican Black Castor Oil. This is the second step in my LOC Method. What can I say, it woks! No secrets or tricks here. Just rub it on your edges and ends to seal and protect them. I also massage my edges and nape area with a mixture of 1/3 JBCO, 1/3 Olive Oil, 1/3 grape seed oil as a mid week refresher at night. The only draw back is the smell is strong but not stinky. There are other scented versions but I haven’t tried them.
  • 5. Carols Daughter- Hair Milk Original Leave In Moisturizer. This is my third step for my LOC (Leave in, Oil, Cream) Method. This product is thick enough to be used as a cream although it’s labeled as a Leave In. It has a more creamy consistency then moist leave ins and even works as a heat protectant when I blow dry my hair. I also use this product for daily maintenance. It doesn’t sit on my hair and weight it down. I have no down side to say about this product, but the words rubbed off the bottle.February Empties
  • 6. Shea Moisture Raw Sheabutter Extra-Moisture Detangler- Well technically this is number seven because I counted the shampoo and conditioner as 1 entry, but any way. I got this from my Hairstory Swaportunity that I had in October. As a Detangler I didn’t care for it. The feel is very slippery and I didn’t like it. But one of my friends told my she uses it as a leave in, and her hair always looks bomb. So, I decided to give it a shot on my twists. I loved it! It left my hair shinny and feeling soft and moist for days.  It’s heavy the first night but by morning my twits looked shinny and healthy!

As you can see the way you use the products are just as important as the products you use.

We’d love to hear from you! Drop us a comment below, or if your not following us on social media you should be! What are some of the products you’re using this winter? Have you ever tried any of these products? Let us know what you’re loving or not loving this winter!

As the kitchen beautician would  “Here’s to more hair” toot a loo!

15 Steps To A Love Affair … With Your Hair

15 steps to a love affair with your hair

1. Make sure you are speaking the love language of your hair. How, you ask? By knowing your hair’s porosity level.

Trying to love on your hair without speaking its language:

not exactly the ideal love huh?

2. Wine and dine her with tender vittles! Not literally the cat food, but lean proteins  like eggs, Salmon, nuts, also brightly colored fruits and vegetables, and Greek yogurt. Just remember what ever you put in your mouth, will show up in your hair. Some of my favorites are spinach, salmon, and almonds.
3. Pour on the love potion, Water! This is the only way to truly add moisture. Drink it, spray it, look for it in your products.

4. Communication is the key! Learn to listen to your hair. You will be able to feel when it needs a trim, or extra attention.
5.Turn up the heat! Wash your hair with higher temperature water, this helps to open the cuticle.
6. Be cool! Rinse your hair with cooler temperature water. This helps to close the cuticle sealing in the moisture .
7. Be gentle. The best thing to dry your hair with is a t-shirt. Using a towel can pull and tug adding stress to your tresses. As long as you are not dying your hair it will not ruin the shirt, so yes its reusable.
8. Some times you have to go deeper. Deep condition every 4-5 weeks. You don’t need to do it every week, but you should at least do it every month to a month and a half.
9. Be clear! Cleanse your hair every 6-8 weeks with either a clarifying shampoo, or ACV Rinse.
10. Get trim. Now the time line depends on your hair and its condition. At least every 8-12 weeks is a good ruler.
11. Profess and protect! After 6 weeks your protective style has lost its protection.

12.Seal the deal! Coat your ends and your edges with a good oil. Castor Oil, Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, these are the three most commonly used.

13. Loc it down. Employ the LOC Method: Liquid ( Water or water based leave -in) Oil ( Oil or butters in the winter) then last- Cream ( cream based leave-in / styler/ alcohol free gel)

14. Lay it on thick! In cooler temperatures replace your hair oil with a hair butter.

15. Trust the process. Love takes time and so will your hair love affair.

Lol I hope you have enjoyed our 15 steps to a love affair with your hair! Humor aside, we know, discovering how to love your hair is the key to a healthy and happy hair journey. What are some of your love gestures to your hair? Did we leave anything out? Please comment and let us know what you think!

Welp that’s all folks!

 

 

 

Curly Girl’s LITERALLY Last Minute Gift Guide !

Curly Girls Literally Last Minute Gift Guide

 

 

Here we are Christmas is just a few days away! I’m sure you’ve done all your shopping and finished up like a boss, right? But wait you missed your favorite curly girl, what now? It’s  LITERALLY LAST MINUTE! No worries, I gotcha! Here’s my top  LITERALLY LAST MINUTE gifts for the naturals in your life:

-Detangling comb:
I know you’re probably like really, a comb? But as a natural we appreciate the value of a good comb. We also lose and damage them more often then you think so this is an awesome gift. There are even decorative comb sets to make the gift even more special 😉

-Hair Accessories
The beauty of being natural is all about hair acceptance. So help her crown her glory with a new hair accessory. Every kinky curly girl needs a goddess band, you can find these at your local beauty supply place or even Walmart.

-Scarves
A silk scarf can make or break your healthy hair, literally! Every girl absolutely  loves scarves, wraps and bonnets especially big ones.  Printed turbans have been making a huge statement these past few years. I bet she will more than appreciate it!

-Product
Being a kinky girl is very costly. We try very hard to stretch our products! If you’re not a naturalista you probably don’t understand the value of this gift. But any natural girl may just jump up and kiss you if you purchase her favorite product and/or shampoo!

-DIY Products
This is a little more personal then a commercially available product. Your curly will understand the time and energy you put into making her an oil or hair butter! Maybe even some aloe or flax seed gel! Follow us on Pinterest to check out some DIY’s!

Christmas is basically here, but it’s never too late to grab some last minute treasures! The great thing is, all of these are accessible to at your local drug store right down to Christmas Day! Now if you are the curly girl and you want to let your givers know what you want, send them this link lol! Don’t forget to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest! Leave us a comment if you have even more last minute ideas!!!

 

Merry Christmas y’all!

Curly Girl Literally Last Minute Gift Guide

Welcome To Glamrock: Frugal Fashion Plus Sized Look Under $25

I’m sure it’s no secret that being a stylish plus sized woman is not cheap. It seems that paying more just goes with the territory. It’s even worse for me because I shop with my ears. If you can imagine I’m just walking through a particular store and I start hearing things speaking to me. “Psst hey over here” ” take me home with you”. Sometimes trying it on will help me make the decision to buy or not to buy, and other times it’s so right for me that I just have to get it. I usually set a limit per piece of what I will spend. Such as I don’t want to spend $39.00 for a t-shirt! Yeah that’s just crazy-town! WelcomeTo Glamrock

Now, when that piece that’s calling out to me has a markdown price, there’s almost nothing that’s going to keep me from owning it! That’s what happened with this Glam Rock look. The entire look was only $25 at Burlington Coat Factory! The vest and the top are size 2x and the bottoms are 3x. This particular store has a decent plus size section. I shop both Women’s and Junior’s. The fur vest was the most expensive (if I can even use tWelcome To Glamrock hat word) it was $14.99.       I love these faux leather leggings ( yes I wear leggings, and I look great in them) they were a steal at $4.99 and the top was $5.99. That’s like getting a whole outfit for the price of my favorite jeans at 50% off. **tilts head and winks eye**. Well, what can I say, somethings are just worth the price.

Fashion can be frugal, and even plus sized fashion can be affordable and stylish. Now one word of caution when you find these low low prices you have to try them on. Very often there could be some fit issues. I always make sure the bottom of my shirts hits around the middle of my hips. That way it’s probably low enough in the back to cover some booty, and long enough in the front to cover my lower belly. The waist on bottoms is always my concern, sometimes it’s cut small but the legs fit great. That’s what works for me, but if you feel great in it, by all means get your Glam Rock on.
For more on how to look great in your clothes check out this post ( Plus size mistakes) .Welcome To Glamrock

Please comment , like and subscribe !

See ya

What I Know For Sure: Five Things Every Woman Needs To Have by The Time She Reaches Her Forties

imageBy this stage in your life, you have probably spent a great deal of energy living up tosomeone else’s idea of you. Your parents, spouses, children, and society’s views and standards all impact how we see ourselves and or how we measure our successes or accomplishments and the lack thereof. I recently celebrated my 42nd birthday, and like most people I always contemplate my position in life as well as my future around my birthday. I am a real number weirdo, meaning I always look up numbers and see what they mean or correspond to. I remember when I turned forty and I looked it up, as I always do, and I was surprised to see all of the biblical references to new beginnings. I found one article that correlated a woman turning forty, to the Israelites making it to the promise land. This was so eye opening to me because I had spent my entire thirties in a mild state of paralysis and depression. Which to me felt like wondering in the wilderness. I had allowed people and events around me to drown out my inner voice.

I was everybody’s something, and my own nothing, but then came my forties. There was something invigorating about believing that turning forty was the beginnings of my new life. I began to pray for God’s presence and direction like never before. It actually took me sometime to remember what it was that I enjoyed. I tasked myself to come up with 10 things that I enjoyed that did not involve serving anyone else. I realized that everything I liked was because of my husband, kids, or father. It took almost an hour but I did it. From that point I began to seek my own happiness first. Not in a selfish way, but in a self-love way. I still have to remind myself that I am too important not to be a priority. Putting myself first is a learned behavior but I’m learning. But what I know for sure is, that I’m worth it!

Here are 5 things every woman needs to have by the time she’s in her forties.

God– A relationship with your creator. I don’t mean just going to church. I mean a constant conversation, prayer, or meditation between you and God. When you are in a relationship, the most powerful tool is communication. Developing your connection with God is very important.

Right look– This is that look you can pull together in an hour, to land your dream job or captivate your dream mate. Know what silhouettes look good on you. Have a “quick face” so What I Know For Sure even if you are just going to get coffee, you can look pulled together.

Affirmation – By definition the word means emotional support and encouragement. Need I say more?

Cause – A principal, idea or belief that you are willing to work towards insuring its success. I am tempted to say what drives you, because I also believe your “cause” will inspire you into action.

Expertise – That one thing that you do, when you are doing you so well. Even if it’s just a certain dish or a way you pack luggage. You should be able to identify your strengths, and be able to turn it into a profit if necessary.

These words are an acronym for G.R.A.C.E. Which reminds me to give myself grace. Existing by the grace of God, with grace & style, living in his grace and mercy.What I Know For Sure

Be blessed.