Tag: #blogger

The Ultimate Guide To Self-care: 25 Acts Of Self-care That Cost You Nothing!

The Oxford Living Dictionary defines self care as such: The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.

In other words the deliberate act of taking responsibility for your own good health and happiness. A while ago I decided that to make a conscious effort to make time for myself. I use to have one way of coping with making myself feel better, shopping! Don’t judge me 😁.

Although I still love shopping I started to realize buying things robs me of the deeper more fulfilling happiness that comes from true soul work. Not to mention shopping can get out of hand and cause an entire set of challenges in itself…but that’s a topic for another blog post. I will say self-care does not have to cost you a thing!

Here are 25 of acts of self-care that will not cost you a thing!

1. Get some sleep- this is the most under estimated act of self-care. It is literally recharging your battery.

2. Veg out- eat an extra serving of vegetables, or if you’re really bout it go plant based one or two days a week.

3. Let it go- release the guilt. Let go of that mistake. Take the lesson as a blessing and throw away the guilt. You can’t get the time back, the money is spent and you are here to live another day.

4. Drink plenty of water- We all know this, but I’m going to say it anyway. Drink your water. It’s nature’s liquid gold. It flushes all the toxins out.

5. Spend some time alone- even if it’s just 10 minutes in the car before or after work. Just sit and breath. Or do whatever it is that makes you happy.

6. Find a short path and take a long walk- slow down take it easy. Don’t rush, give yourself permission to take it slow.

7. Write it out- it could be a journal or it could just be a piece of paper. You can write your goals, your ideas or what ever is on your mind. You don’t need to do anything with it or show anyone just release what’s on your mind.

8. Laugh out loud- God is so amazing! He designed us so wonderfully that just laughing releases endorphins, the body’s natural feel good chemicals. It boosts your immunity and decreases stress hormones. YouTube funny videos or call that friend that you know is going to keep you rolling on the floor!

9. Work it out- head over to YouTube and pull up one of the gazillions of work out videos and get busy.

10. Get your Yogi on- do some yoga. You don’t have to be a pro. Here are some of my favorite yoga poses ( here).

11. Dance and sing get up and do your thing- put on the music and get moving. Listening to music will change the atmosphere.

12. Do some decluttering- this has a twofold affect. The act of accomplishing the decluttering will feel good and every time you see the area you will feel good all over again.

13. Feed your spirit – attend church or what ever your spiritual practice is. Perform that in a group setting. Plug yourself into the collective.

14. Take a long shower- I think this is a conditioning response from my childhood. There was nothing in life that couldn’t be fixed with a bath and warm pjs.

15. Take a long walk- get out and get some fresh air. Put on your headphones or not and just take a walk.

16. Smile all day- just try it. Smile at every person you encounter. Not only will it make your day, but it may change their life.

17. Listen to a podcast – there are podcasts about everything. Find one that you like and cue it up.

18. Smell the roses- burn a candle or a defuser of your favorite scent. Aromatherapy is said to eliminate headaches, boost immunity, and reduce anxiety and depression among other things.

19. Read- read a book, binge on your favorite blog (hint 😜), or magazine. Knowledge is power.

20. Lose the limits- we all have self imposed restrictions that keep us comfortable. Every now and then get out of your comfort zone.

21. Plan a trip- Not saying that you ever have to take it, but plan it. See what events are taking place, check the hotel prices, flight fares, even the sites to see. So just in case you do decide to go wheels up, you already have a budget.

22. Map your vision- set a series of goals and start taking steps towards reaching them. Make a list of 3-5 long term goals and maybe 1 or 2 steps that you can take immediately that gets you closer to those goals.

23. Take a walk down memory lane- look at old photos, reach out to a family member or friend and reminisce about good times.

24. Get dressed- I know you put clothes on everyday, but I mean get dressed up. I tend to save my favorite perfume or certain clothes for special occasions, but sometimes you just have to show up and show out.

25. Affirm yourself- write down or copy & paste positive affirmations and post them somewhere, not for decorations but actually read them. Sometimes I’ll put them in my phone as a pop up. Imagine you are having a tough day and that 11:30 pop up sounds, you pick your phone up and it reads ” Nothing Can Stop You” ! All the way up! Or “Slay Your Day”! And you know you got this!

 

One of my intentions for starting this platform was to spread love. Gods love and Self love to be exact. As a wife, mother, daughter, and employee, sometimes “me” is the last to get the care and attention that I give everything and everyone else. But that doesn’t serve me or them when I’m running on empty. So I had to learn new ways of caring for myself through lasting acts of self care.

Are you a member of the put me last on the list club? Or do you practice self care? What are some acts of self care  you employ ? Drop a line in the comments.

101 Natural Hair Tips: Hair Porosity Tips 91- 101

Well as we come to the end of this series, 101 Natural Hair Tips, it was tough for me to settle on the last topic. Then I realized, I’m always talking about how knowing your hair porosity is the most important aspect of a healthy hair journey, yet I never told you why I feel this way. Or how this could help. So it was kind of no brainer. The Last topic is Hair Porosity.

Knowing your hair porosity literally determines what products will work best for your hair. What processes will give you the best results, and why certain buzz words and holy grail products will or won’t work for you.

  1. Know Your Hair Porosity- Here are the two most common ways to determine hair porosity. Take a strand of hair and hold it between your fingers. Run your pinched fingers down the shaft. If it feels tight & stiff you have low porosity hair, which means your hair shaft is tightly closed and it is difficult for moisture to get in or out. If you feel ridges or jagged peaks you have high porosity hair, which means the shaft is open and it is easy for moisture to escape. If your fingers move smoothly up and down the shaft you have normal porosity hair. which means you can accept and retain moisture easily. The most commonly promoted way is the water test. Take a glass of water drop a strand of hair in the glass. If the strand sinks to the bottom rapidly, you have high porosity. If the stand slowly floats to the middle of the glass, you have normal porosity. If the strand floats at the top and does not sink, you have low porosity.
  2. Test On Clean Hair- It’s important to test on clean hair. The product on you hair can obscure the results. Your hair may float at the top because you have certain product or oils on your hair that seal in the and stop the water from penetrating the shaft.
  3. Test Different Areas Of The Head- Believe it or not you could have more than one porosity level on your head. Just as you can have different hair textures. The best places to test are the crown, the nape, and the temple. Although I would not recommend using several products on your head. I would suggest you utilize a process that will assist in moisture retention for that specified section.

Lets say you find out the hair at the crown of your head is high porosity but the rest of your hair is normal porosity. Here are the tips I would suggest you use for that section of hair.

  1. Rinse High Porosity Hair Cold Water- The cuticle on high porosity hair is lifted. The cold water will coax the hair cuticle closed. This will seal in the moisture. Also using cold leave-in for your  L.O.C.
  2.  Aloe Vera Juice- Adding aloe vera juice to your wash day will help seal the moisture in. Aloe vera juice can also be added to your daily maintenance routine.  Add it in your water bottle.
  3. High Porosity Hair Benefits From Protein –  Protein is in your deep conditioner. It’s in your leave in. You can do protein treatments.

On the other hand, if you find that your nape or temple area is low porosity and the rest of your hair is normal. Here are some tips that will help you get the best results.

  1.  Low Porosity Hair Benefits From Steam- The steam will open the cuticle to allow the moisture to penetrate the hair shaft. If you don’t have a steamer, bring water to a boil and hold a towel over your head while leaning over the pot as the steam evaporates. You can also sit your leave in and or your oil in hot water to heat the product.Using heat when deep conditioning will also help the product penetrate the hair shaft.
  2.  Avoid Product Build Up- Low porosity hair is prone to product build up, because the hair cuticle is closed, the product will sit on the hair and not penetrate the shaft. If the product  builds up on the shaft it will give the hair a dull appearance. Apple Cider Vinegar rinses will cleanse the hair from build  up.
  3. Limit Protein- It may be hard to avoid protein completely, but you need to limit the protein. Stay away from protein masks, and look for deep conditioners with out protein. Do not add protein to your regimen.

Now, this last tip is one of the most important tips on the whole natural hair journey. There will always be buzz words, or some miracle product, or the latest greatest find. They always say the journey is trial and error, but this can lead to curl damage, or worst yet breakage.

  1. Stick To What Works- Stay off the bandwagon. I remember a few years back, coconut oil was the holy grail of the natural hair community. But for me I tried it once or twice and knew it wasn’t going to work for my hair. I listen to my hair, if my hair doesn’t respond well to the product, I leave it alone.

I have covered the most important points about hair porosity and how it applies to a healthy hair journey. Now there are always factors that will affect your hair porosity and condition, such as hair color,(color treated hair tips) medicine, and or illness. These factor will affect the results of your test, but these tips will help to repair any temporary damage that may occur.

Employ good basics (Click here for: Natural Hair Basics 1 & 2), develop a stable wash day regimen (Click here for: Wash Day Tips), stay off the product bandwagon (Click here for: How to Avoid Being a Product Junkie), and listen to your hair. Well that about wraps it up for me. Do you know your hair porosity? Do you think it matters? If so how has knowing changed your regimen? Leave us a comment or if you have any questions please drop us a line in the comments or on social media.

Healthy Hair and There: Inexpensive All Natural Hair & Body Products You Probably Already Have

Is it just me or doesnt it seem like every other day there’s a new “it” ingredient for natural hair? Every time I turn around there’s some super ingredient that’s going to grow your hair, thicken it, or add super duper shine and moisture! It’s no wonder many Curlies find it difficult to navigate what to do and what not to do. But what if I told you, you already have all the super ingredients you need and probably use them everyday?

Have you ever heard of the term “Kitchen Beautician”? Well, this post is going to give new meaning the word! The products are literally from your kitchen! To top it off, if you love a great deal, you know the kind of deal that your money is so well spent that the dollars wink at you when you pass them off, than you’ll thank me later. There’s nothing better than things that double and triple your money! We have so many amazing deals right in the kitchen! Here are five items that are beneficial to your body inside and out, from head to toe, while stretching those coins!

  • Water- The Real Youth Elixir 

We can’t talk about water enough! It is truly a gift from God! Water is the only element in the world that is crucial to your well being. Besides helping your body perform to the best of its capability, drinking water promotes hair growth and glowing skin. Water is also the best moisturizer for dry hair, skin, and lips ( here is a recipe for DIY lip scrub just for you, as an added bonus!). And also usually the main ingredient in your favorite product or meal! Some people use rose water, rice water or alkaline water. All that that aside. Regular water works the best! In fact it’s one of our pillars for healthy hair.

  • Oils- What A Blessing 

As you know we are big oil lovers here (click her for : blessed oil). Oils are the NEXT best thing to a moisturizer ! You can use oils to lubricant your hair and also to seal in the goodness from other products and or lock the water onto your hair and skin. Using oils to cook with (i.e olive, coconut, and almond oils) are the best way to cut the fats. Use your favorite oil instead of butter and/or vegetable oils. Also don’t forget to rub yourself down from head to toe with your favorite oil(s)! ( click here for : our five favorite oils)

  • Honey-Oh Honey Baby 

Heaven’s nectar! Honey is a natural humectant and draws in the moisture in the air to your hair when you use a honey mask (click her for : honey b natural hair mask). Honey is also a natural sweetener and you can replace your sugars with honey (even syrup and jelly too!) Honey also soothes your sore throat and boosts your immune system when down.

Here’s two added bonuses – a teaspoon a day of honey from your local farmers market will help you out during allergy season. And drinking warm water with honey and lemon in the morning on an empty stomach relaxes your stomach before a meal and promotes weight loss since it is a natural diuretic! Just be mindful of how cold it is outside. If the temps are below freezing, it’s recommended to avoid humectants during this time. 

  • Avocado-The Fruit of the Century!

Studies has shown the avocado is loaded with essential vitamins and loaded in healthy fats, making this fruit the new must have for the healthy community. Using avocado as a hair masks eliminates excessive dryness and repairs damage done to the scalp. Avocado is great for a facial mask rejuvenating the youth and glow. Aloe- The Miracle  Healing Plant

Last but certainly not least. Aloe is also very hydrating and boosts immunity. Drinking Aloe Vera Juice is a great natural way to detox! And it also promotes hair growth! ( Click here for : Aloe Honey Oil Prepoo). Aloe is excellent for the skin. Use aloe to soothe sun burns, acne, and dry skin. An added bonus is using aloe to make a DIY hair gel to lay those edges down without alcohol. Be sure to check your ingredients when buying aloe based products, some products contain little to no aloe. (click here:: for information about aloe product fraud.)

I always hear Curlies complaining about the ingredients in the products they buy, but in the same breath, you dare not use DIY products. That part I just don’t get. But the truth is, the only way to be absolutely sure the products you are using are all natural is…if you use them in their natural state! And as you can see it’s easy to stretch your dollar! What natural products do you use as a 2 in 1? Do you have a favorite DIY or kitchen beautician recipe? Let us know in the comments!

How to Style A Plus Size Pencil Skirt: Mixed Up In Prints

Well, this is supposed to be my Thanksgiving Holiday look. However, I’m just not sure how long this belt is going to stay on, once the food starts going in! But I love this look with the belt because it just pulls it together. I must admit, I’m kind of feeling belts lately. They emphasize the waist, and define a line where the eye should focus. Especially when wearing mixed prints the belt gives a clear focus so the look doesn’t get too busy!

My top is a super comfortable soft knit top from Modcloth. It has a kind of vintage style which I seem to be drawn to. I always end up gravitating to the old classic silhouettes. This look is no exception. The pencil skirt is also a classic silhouette. It looks great on most body shapes. I have a larger mid section, but not quite an apple shape. I’m also very hippie. The pencil skirt is designed to be wider at the top and narrow towards the bottom which compliments my shape nicely.

This stripped skirt it’s also a soft knit. A little heavier than the top but it’s still very comfortable. Both pieces are cute and comfortable. The skirt had an elastic waistband  so it will be comfortable sitting, standing, and with a full bell. 😋 the skirt is a wide stripe, which I love because the black and white is balanced very well. Neither is too overwhelming. I went with a medium size polka dot because the stripe is a bold print and I didn’t want them competing.

I kept all of my accessories solid and simple. The coat is an updated classic trench with a waterfall front. The earrings are a dangling pom. Classic Black knee boots ( my favorite fall/ winter accessories ), But the bag is anything but classic. It’s a very trendy triangle box bag, in a bold red paten leather. Even with all that going on, I added a purse charm to make it just to my liking!

Now this may or may not be my Thanksgiving look, but it will be a part of my holiday season go to looks. The silhouette compliments everything in just the right places, and the patterns make it a funky stand out for any fun or formal event.

I know I’m breaking a fashion rule or 10 here. Like big girls don’t wear patterns, don’t wear horizontal stripes, don’t mix patterns, if you are short don’t wear your skirt too long. I could probably go on for days, but really I don’t follow any of those rules! If it makes me feel good and I look good in it, I’m wearing it!

COAT Similar   SKIRT Similar PURSE Similar CHARM Similar   (Top) (boots)

But that’s me, I can’t see allowing rules that don’t make sense to me, dictate how I dress. Do you believe in the “fashion rules”? Or are you a rule breaker like me? Drop me a line in the comments and let me know how you feel about the “fashion rules”. Do you think they are out dated or what? Also what are you rocking this holiday season? Last but surely not least I just want to thank all of you who support me. Giving thanks for you!

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly: The Good Hair Post

Can we talk about good hair and bad hair ? What is good hair anyway? What is bad hair? I know some of you all will read that and answer “no hair is bad”! So, if there is no such thing as bad or ugly hair, why do we say “so and so” has pretty hair? What are we comparing this pretty hair too?

Most people of color refer to thinner hair with loose curls and/or waves to be considered pretty or good hair. Majority of the time, this statement is considered a compliment. But is it really?

All hair texture is different, but when we say that a certain curly has beautiful hair, what are we saying about that the next curly girl with a tighter curl pattern and/or coarser hair? Can she not have pretty hair? Are we underhandedly insulting our sista?

I’ve heard it all, and most women have a love hate relationship with their hair. Its either too kinky, too thin, too thick, too curly, too straight, too flat, too big, etc.
Yet, we always work it out and end up with a hand full of compliments.

Our community tends to segregate hair textures with certain curls being the “best” and other curls feeling isolated. When are we going to realize we are all in this together. The natural hair community is just as segregated as all the rest. We want to accept one form of natural hair, as if you can’t accept it all.

This journey back to loving our natural hair is not an easy one for a lot of us. It starts with self acceptance. It may seem easy on social media or for your favorite blogger, but the hardest battle is fighting yourself. You almost have to go back retrain your thoughts on everything you have learned when it came to hair care. Most of us were never taught to care for our hair. Even worse we don’t know how to love our hair. If your experience was anything like mine, your hair was always someone’s “problem issue”. What are we going to do with her hair? Who’s going to do her hair? Or if you wash it,I’ll do it? ….it was always a struggle so of course I adopted by that same struggle narrative.

I’ve said before, it wasn’t until I was faced with the prospect of loosing my hair, due to a chronic illness, that I began to fall in love with my hair like never before! I learned to listen to her in all her beautiful mane- nificent glory!

I’ll admit it before the world, I love my hair! I love hair period. I’m a hair person! Always have been! I literally see a persons hair before I see them. *don’t judge me* it could be worst. *smiles*

So, when you see that sista girl rocking her fro as you stare with a tinge of hair envy, pay her a compliment because you recognize her struggle. Recognize her efforts!

This natural hair movement is so huge, that it makes everyone uncomfortable, including yourself. You still struggle with taming your hair, for fear that you will stand out in corporate America, or even get kicked out of school for looking “unkept”. You have to learn to roll and twist your hair just good enough so that you can still please the eyes of others. As a natural you are not allowed to have a bad hair day, as if you ever had 100% perfect hair days before returning back to your natural state.

What’s funnier, the people who surround you tend to be more nervous about your natural hair journey than you are. This hair movement is scary, yet exciting, but still surprising, because everyday you never know what you will end up with (lol). Sometimes we set expectations too high and some days it’s overly frustrating. We all need the support of our hair community.

No one thinks of the struggle when you transition or chop your hair off. You amaze yourself when you realize you have no idea, how to take care of your own hair the way it is without any chemicals or heat. I know it isn’t easy for any woman to maintain the perfect hair, so we praise a good protective style, but in the end you still need to know how to maintain healthy hair. Our minds have been so conditioned with pretty hair vs ugly hair, that we fail to see the beauty in all our natural hair. Your natural curls may not match my natural curls, and my curls may not match the straight hair of the model on the latest magazine, but having hair, that we are able to grow without too much struggle is beautiful itself.

I’m sure we all have heard “natural hair isn’t for everyone”, but when you think about it, how is your hair that God gave you not for you, because it isn’t what the world may consider beautiful?

So, again next time you see someone with that “pretty hair”, that hair that she struggled to comb, failed to moisturize the night before, woke up frustrated and hoping she could tame it enough to be accepted, just know she might not see pretty hair, I know it’s beautiful and she should too.

. Let’s do away with this ugly hair stereotype. Let go of these turns like good and bad hair! What ever your hair texture what ever your hair type, what ever your hair style, love it, rock it, and make it your own! And as the old kitchen beauticians you to say after they got finished lacing you with the piff ” more hair” !

What do you consider good hair? Does length, texture, or density come into the equation? Let us know what you consider “Good Hair” ?

Picture Me Through The Blush Of Rose Gold

In just a few short hours I’ll be 44 years old. Somehow through God’s grace, I am an independent, confident, productive, wife, mother and grandmother. Yes, this still trips me out, because I know for sure most of it was not intentional on my part. I wish I had the foresight to have planned my life. I give those of you with those 5 and 10 year plans mad props. It took me a long time to have faith in my decision making ability, so I would have never trusted that I knew what I wanted. Even as a little girl, I spent a lot of time alone because I was always on punishment for one thing or another. Being chastised for everything made me fearful of making choices on my own. I actually use to tell myself that I wasn’t capable of making good choices. Not an easy road to be on.

This belief lead to me, just letting life happen to me instead of planning my steps. I was mostly reactive to what ever situations or choices others chose for me. Sometimes I had a good reaction, sometimes it was down right disastrous. I’m a very emotional being by nature, so a lot of my reaction were pure emotion. And if you know like I know, this was not going to turn out well. I had my first son as a teenager, and my second son in my early twenties. I had a decent job, but it just wasn’t going to take care of three of us. By the time I had my second son, I knew I had to make  changes in my life. It started with my deciding that I was know longer going to be held back by the negative Nellys in my head. I started writing down goals and figuring out how to work towards them. A few years ago I ran across an old journal, I had to laugh when I read the goals. All I wanted was to have a car, a job, and my own place. The funny thing is, those goals seem so low, but I don’t remember being excited or even acknowledging when I reached them. Somehow, I made myself believe those goals were nothing. To some they may not be, but for me obviously it was something I needed to focus on attaining. So at that very moment, I allowed myself to be proud. Even though it was 20 years later! I let go of thinking my accomplishments are nothing. I deserve to celebrate me.

I may have said this before, but by growing up without my mom in my life, I was determined to be the mom I didn’t have. Thank God He blessed me with the ability to be a good provider for my boys. I use to wonder if I was doing a good job, then one day I looked up and not only was I taking care of my 2, but I was also taking care of my little sister and brother, and many of my younger cousins from time to time.

In the role as caregiver, I began to put myself last again . Always thinking if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done. After many years of sacrificing myself for the greater good of the rest of the people around me, kind of made me sad. As I look back at my thirties, I realize I spent the entire decade depressed. Mainly because I wasn’t doing anything to feed my soul. Everything was for someone else. Part of my believed that I had to keep holding all the weight or everything would fall apart and I would be the blame. I can remember my husband telling me, that everyone else can afford to be happy because I’m holding all their misery. Lol, thank God for him. He was so right. I let go of being responsible for everyone but me. I deserve to be first. It’s ok to be a little selfish sometimes.

When I turned Forty I promised myself that I was going to take better care of me. I know it might seem a little late in the game, but you know what they say: better late than never. Today I am a mother of three, a wife, and a grandmother. It’s not easy to let old habits go, but everyday I seek God for guidance and direction. As I keep moving forward on this road to self love and acceptance, there are highs and lows. But just like that old saying says, I’m looking at life through ” rose-tinted glasses”. I chose to see the good in my life. I love the institution of love and believe love is the answer. Today I believe I am not only capable of making good decisions, but I’m equipped to teach others how to as well. Today I believe that I am the master of my own destiny. Today I believe that I am worthy to be celebrated. Today I believe that I am too important not to be a priority. Today I am seeking my golden life. As I approach my forty fourth year I believe all things are possible and are working together for my good!

Outfit dets: Satin Bomber ( Charlotte Russe) Blush Denim ( Lane Bryant)

Plus Size Fall Fashion Favorites : Graphic Tee & Moto Jacket

Well peeps, it’s finally here! The Fall as we call it, my favorite season. I am a crispy air, colored leaf and hot beverage loving soul. Not to mention it’s my birthday season! One of my favorite things about fall is all the cute fall fashions that we have the pleasure of downing. Some of my favorite pieces of fall fashion are a great pair of jeans, a graphic t and a bomb jacket.

 

Every year for the last few years everyone talks about Moto jackets. I must have 3 or 4 but I always have the same issue, the arms are too tight. So when I ordered this Waterfall Moto Jacket ( it’s sold out but here is a similar Moto ) from Rebdolls, the first thing I checked was the fit on the arms. To my surprise, there is a knit panel under the arm that runs back of the arm which is perfect of you have larger arms. The Micro suede or fuax suede as they call it, makes it look kind of like a blazer to me. It’s definitely Boss Girl Chic. It’s an Office to After Hour piece.

This graphic tee is one that I’ve had in my closet for a few years, but it is really soft and hits me at just the right length to cover my stomach. I picked it up at Forever 21. I don’t often shop there because most of the items I get seem to run small.

Now my favorite piece of this simple fall look is the dark denim. BTW I love when I hear the trend spotters say things like denim is in this season. Lol, when has denim not been in? IDK, I’ve always been a jeans and T-shirt girl. But back to these jeans, they are RWN by Rawan. I’ve never heard of them before I received them in my Curvycon swag bag. They will run you a pretty penny at $78. They are about the same quality as the Torrid jeans, which I’ve said in the past are my most favorite plus size jeans. I have to admit, I find myself reaching for these instead of my Torrid skinnies. They have the perfect amount of stretch, and they are all day comfortable.

The dark wash allows me to get away with wearing them in the office for a not so impromptu casual Thursday. In fact replace the graphic T with a white button up and that’s it. Casual Thursday on deck! I topped the look off with a laced ballet flat. This season shoes are pointed toe again. These are from Asos.com.  I love that they carry wide width shoes. Now even if you are a little weary about being shoes online, you can rest easy because they carry wide and so chances are they will fit perfect.

 

If you’ve read all the way to the bottom, don’t mind my face! I just noticed it looks like I’m aggravated, but I’m not. Anyway what are some of your favs this Fall? Hit me in the comments and let me know.

Saying Farewell To Summer : My Summer Of Yes To Self

There is something about the hot days and bright colors of Summer that lends itself to endless promises of fun filled days and exhausting excitement! I know, I always think of vacations, easy living, quick meals, cold treats and tons of barbecues, brunches, and outdoor events that are just beaming with happy beautiful people, just enjoying life and living in pure joy! But is that really true? It can be if you say Yes to self!

This Summer I knew I wouldn’t be able to go on an epic vacation, so I made a conscious decision to enjoy my Summer Saturdays to the fullest. Instead of lamenting about what I couldn’t do, I chose to enjoy what I could. Believe me you, it wasn’t easy to watch my friends and family traveling to and from Aruba, Greece, Sol, even China and Dubai! I made the decision to live through them instead of being ungrateful for what I have. Yes, I embarked on epic vacation like experience for myself on my Summer Saturdays!

I spent most of my Summer 17 Saturdays hitting up free music festivals, going sight seeing, and flea market treasure hunting. I treated myself to a Mary J Blige concert. Yes, two days before the show, I looked up the tickets and saw that they still had seats for the MSG show. I texted my girls and they were more than excited to go. Normally I would have talked  myself out of going. Just because it wasn’t planned in advanced, but I’m so glad that I said yes to myself!   We had a ball, all three of us work hard and take great care of our families, but we rarely do something just for ourselves. Yes, Treat Yo Self!

I knew I had already purchased my ticket to TheCurvycon being held during New York Fashion Week, so I knew I had that to look forward to as well. Yes, being in the company of so many confident, beautiful, positive, curvy women and men is intoxicating! Yes, Find Yo Tribe!

I was invited to the New Jersey Hair N Beauty Expo as a special invited guest. The initial yes was to the invite. I was excited to be in the collective of all the New Jersey naturals from my area. Then wouldn’t you know it, I was asked to be on the panel, to answer questions about my natural hair journey, and to encourage and instruct new naturalists! Yes, I said Yes! Yes, To Yo Testimony!

So the calendar says it’s the start of fall, but the temperatures have been hotter this past week, than many of the days in our so called summer. We Say Goodbye to the season, but we don’t have to say the promise. Carry the feeling of seeking joy into to Fall by saying Yes To Self!

How did you spend your Summer? Did you do things that make you happy? Did you say Yes To Self? Let me know in the comments how your plan to say yes to yourself.

Wisdom Wednesday : Are You Missing Your Blessing?

“And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1:11-13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sped through the creation story, never recognizing the blessing in divine order. God created fruit beating trees, vegetation, and plants yielding seed .i.e “food” days before there was anything living to eat the food. Three days before creating man,on the 6th day, and two days before creating the animals on the fifth day.

On the third day God provided provision. Before there was even a need. He had not yet created Adam and Eve yet he made provisions for them.

This is exactly the way God makes provision for us! Well in advance of our need, God has already provided the “food”. But how often are we speeding by the creation because it seems insignificant?

Or maybe we have a picture of what said blessing should look like, so we can’t acknowledge the blessing when it shows up, because it’s not packaged the way we think it should be.

Well, we know what happened to the last “people” that rejected a blessing because it didn’t appear they way they thought it should right? Ok then, enough said.

The challenge for us is to see the provision and care, even when it is different than we expect, because God is God, his ways are not like our ways, and His thought are higher than our thoughts.

First we must have faith. When we put your faith in Christ, God commissions himself to protect, provide, and care for us.

When you put your faith in Christ, the bible tells us we will have what ever we so desire. God always provides for his children, though often it is not in the way we expect or hope.

So as I bring this message to a close I leave you with the following scripture

Matthew‬ ‭7:7-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

And lastly, always seek God!

101 Natural Hair Tips: 81-90 Tips For Summertime Hair Care

I remember  facing my first summer with natural hair. The thought of sweaty, nappy, unruly hair was the vision I had! I was so used to having relaxed hair, I had no idea what I was going to do. Little did I know that summer was my hair’s best growth season. All I had to do was follow a few easy tips, and this lazy natural was on her way to an easy growth spurt!

Now over the years I’ve added a few more, but here are my Summertime hair care tips to maximize your growth season!

81-90 Tips For Summertime Hair Care

1. Clean Time In Between Time: Keeping your hair clean, and moisturized. This is my number one hair tip. Even if you don’t wash it every week, do a quick Cowash in between your wash sessions.

👉 Click Here for Wash Day Tips👈

2. Get Down To The Root Of It: Your hair grows directly from your scalp, so it is important to keep your scalp clean and healthy and free from debris. A healthy scalp is probably one of the most underrated necessities for healthy and or long hair.

3. Let Go Of What’s Not Serving You: Get a fresh trim. Even if you only trim once a year, make it a summer trim. While your hair is growing you don’t want it to be stunted by those dead ends. They are useless!

4. Wet Your Whistle: Drink plenty of water! Very often the summer is dry and hot, so you want to make sure you drink plenty of water. By staying hydrated you are also giving your hair hydration.

Wet Your Whistle

5. Aloe There Honey: Use humectants to increase the moisture in your hair. I love natural humectants such as aloe Vera juice, and honey. You can add the aloe vera juice to your spray bottle and spritz your hair at night before bed. Or add some honey to your conditioner.  This will add softness and shine like you wouldn’t believe.

👉 Click here for Aloe & Honey Prepoo👈

6. Soak & Seal: By soaking your hair with clear water and sealing with your favorite oil before swimming,  you limit the amount of chlorine or salt water that your hair will absorb. Even though this is a no brainer, I’m just gonna say it anyway wash and condition after swimming alright.

 

Swimming Tips

7. Keep It Moving: Get out and get some sun. Go for a walk, or go to a fair or carnival and walk around. The circulation will increase blood flow and encourage healthy hair growth.

8. Style With Ease: Employ protect styles, and easy pony tails and buns. The less pulling the better. If you’re ever going to try a wash n go, this is the time! Layer that product on and let it ride!

👉 click Here for 5 Easy Goto styles👈

Take It Easy

9. Don’t Be A Hot Head: It’s impossible to keep your hair healthy if you are burning it out. This means the sun too. If you are going to be out in the hot sun for prolonged periods, make sure you cover your head or use a protective product. Just as you have to protect your skin, your hair needs protection as well.

10. Embrace The Ohm! : This is so underrated! Let the easy breezy summer feel sink in! Enjoy the warm weather. Go to the movies, the music festival, hit as many street fairs as you can fit in. Believe you me, you tresses feel the stresses!

Don’t Worry Be Happy

These are our basic Summer time tips to make sure you have happy, healthy, fluffy summer hair! Now go forth and play and slay all day!