Trends come and go but classic style lasts forever
Hello March! Well by the calendar Spring is on the way. But by the thermometer, it’s not quit that time yet! I’m not one of those girls who follow all the trends. Instead I like to add a few trends to my classic wardrobe so it lasts and I always look up to date.
This Red trench is about 5 years old. It has a classic cut so it never goes out of style. I love the gold buttons and the red color that give it just the added touch to keep it complimentary.
Ever since I could remember, I’ve been most comfortable in a tight pair of jeans and a snug T-shirt. In my younger years they would most definitely be paired with a pair of hot kicks ( depending on where you are from you probably call them sneakers or tennis shoes). As an over 40 year old woman, I still love my jeans and T-shirt, but today I pair them with a sexy knee boot. These wide calf over the knee boots are from Ashley Stewart. The perforated leather clutch is Thrifted a few years ago. The black Jeggins are also from Asley Stewart.
This is one of my favorite T-shirts. I am a self proclaimed T-shirts snob. I am very funny about the fit and feel of my T-shirts. Again, they need to feel classic and timeless. For me this graphic tee from Alldemshades.com is the hottest. As you can see I love the saying “Black Girls Are Lit🔥” . I remind my self of that everyday! Now I’m not saying any other girls aren’t, but I don’t know about them. But what I do know is, even without Michelle in the White House, even without Taraji winning the Oscar, even without Beyoncé winning the Grammy
First things first…confession time. As much as I love my hair, I am not a lover of the wash day tango! I’ve heard the argument.
” If you don’t love your washday, maybe you need to change your regemin”.
I think there may be some truth to that statement, but in my case I can’t agree. I’ve never liked washday, even when I was a kid. My hair has always been very thick and adding water is my kryptonite! Unfortunately for me there is no way around it, to have hhealthy hair, you have to keep it cleansed. Since returning to natural I’ve found a few tips and tricks that help cut down on time and stress to my tresses. BT dubs, this is also post 3 in series of 10 billion on 101 Natural Hair Tips. For now check out our washday tips and I’ll link the other post ( Natural Hair Basics 1 and 2) at then end of the post.
21. Detangle Hair before washing.
I’m sure you’ve heard this one before, but it’s the number one tip to reduce hair loss and cut down on wash time. Section the hair into as many sections as needed ( usually 4-6). Depending on how tangled my hair is I sometimes start with as many as eight and combine a few of them in larger chunky twists as I go along. Try added some conditioner and water to aide in the process. Use a clip to pin up the completed section.
22.Detangle using a wide tooth comb, detangling brush, or your fingers.
My fingers are my magic tool of choice. When using your fingers, you get to feel the hair as you are detagling. However I also love detangling combs and brushes. The wider the tooth the better. Make sure your comb or bush doesn’t have any missing or broken teeth. They could snag or pull on your hair and cause damage to your strands. I usually end up with 4 sections.
23. Start detangling from ends and work towards the root.
There is one very simple rule in place here. Don’t comb from the root to tip. By starting at the ends and working your way up the shaft it minimizes hair loss. The most effective technique that I have found is to add the conditioner, and finger detangle under running water.
This simple step will avoid retangling your tresses. Apply the shampoo at the root and work towards the ends. Make sure to cleanse the scalp, by gently massaging the scalp with your finger tips. Then work the later down the twist to the ends. Avoid using a circular motion this can encourage tangles and clumping of the hair.
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25. Use sulfate free shampoo, cowashs, or ACV rinses to cleanse your hair.
Now I’m not hear to agrue for or against either method. I’ve used all three and they all work. However, if you find that your normal products aren’t working you may need to do a clarifying shampoo. I do one every 2 or 3 months.
26. After shampooing spray hair with olive oil.
After shampooing but before conditioning, run some Olive oil through your hair. I find this helps with manageability and softness,especially between deep conditioning. Rinse all the shampoo out. Run some Olive oil through your hair. Work down the shaft, the rinse.
27. Apply conditioner with praying hands method.
I know it sound weird but just give it a try. It will decrease the opportunity for tangles, as well as coax the cuticle to lay flat. The cleaning process raises the cuticle, and now we need to make sure it starts the process of closing to lock in the moisture.
28. Deep condition with heat.
Adding heat helps to penetrate the hair shaft increasing the effectivness of the product. If you don’t have a hooded dryer, use a plastic cap, or plastics bags and use your own body heat.
29. Be careful of protein overload.
Although protein is good for your hair, you don’t want to over do it. I’ve read if the label says “repair” wither its a DC or a leave in, it has protein in it. Too much protein will cause excessive drying and damage. It’s almost as bad as heat damage, which ironically protein prevents…but that’s for a future post.
30. Document The Process !
I can’t stress this enough. I can’t tell you how much impact this will have on increasing the amount of good hair days. It’s like cooking from a recipe verses cooking from memory. By keeping a simple hair journal of what products you used and how you used them, you’ll easily be able to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
Now here’s to an easier washday! For more tips click the links below.
As we left 2016, I couldn’t help but notice all of the references, posts, and comments on how bad the year was for a lot of people. I even saw some uber talented individuals made an actual horror movie trailer of all the headlines. It was hilarious! However this only further proves my point that so many people are feeling dispaire. To use the words of our current FLOTUS ” We are feeling what not having hope feels like” . But please let me encourage you don’t get “Trumped Up”. There is always hope. As long as we are here among the living, it is our duty to make everyday the best day, and be grateful for the opportunity to do so.
I’m not saying we won’t have bad days. I’m just saying don’t stay in the dark places too long! As for me, I am claiming 2017 the year I live with purpose. I believe in my magic! Are you with me?
Here are five ways you can speak life into your new year!
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You become what you say about yourself. So keep it positive. This is something we’ve all heard all our lives. You know, if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all. Even in scripture ” For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of”. So fill your heart with good words. Sometimes I print my favorite quotes and hang them in places where I can see them when I need encouragement. I have them in my car, around my house, and oh boy do I have them around my office at work. Lol that’s a whole other story 😁. I also keep my vision board posted by my mirror and it is my screen saver on my phone. It reminds me to keep the good vibes.
2. Hold Your Thoughts Captive
Be intentional with your thoughts. I’ll be the first one to say, this is hard! But it’s so necessary. You can’t let the negative talk begin. When you feel the negatity taking over, redirect your thoughts. If you like music, this is a perfect time to create a playlist. Play those songs when you know you need a pick me up. If you have a favorite motivational speaker or podcast hit play and get it into your head. Again the quotes, and words of affirmation come in handy here as well. I once had a difficult coworker that I had to deal with everyday. Someone gave me a workplace prayer, which I hung on the wall right behind my monitor, so I read it all day everyday. It helped me to be mindful of my reactions to her aggressive behavior. Without my reaction she had no fuel. Eventually she stopped her behavior with me and moved on to another coworker which got her fired.
3. Surround Yourself With Good People
Even if the people around you don’t understand what you are trying to do, as long as the don’t try to project their fears on you, they are good people. Sometimes people are so use to being negative, and gossiping, and talking bad about people that they don’t see anything wrong with it. Stay away from this! My dad use to say, if you bring a bone you’ll carry a bone. In other words the same person who’s talking negatively with you will do the same about you.
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Like Beyoncé said,” I’m feeling myself ” sometimes you just have to feel you own self! BT dubs have you seen Insecure AF on HBO,? I love the way Issa raps to herself in the mirror! Lol I’m not saying you have to break out your rhyme book, but you can stand in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful, smart, and wonderful you are. I saw an old clip of Jay Z on Hot 97, saying how his uncle told him he’d never sell a million records, and he didn’t believe him. He knew he’d sell a million records and that’s all that mattered.
5. Do Your Best
This one doesn’t take much explaining.Go the extra mile! Work at your best, and you’ll yeild the best results.
With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season upon us, we have to be careful to make time to keep ourselves spiritual strong. Sometimes we women loose ourselves trying to meet all the needs of those around us. We serve our husbands, children, bosses, and communities and we forget or are just too tired to serve ourselves. I know for me, doing things for myself makes me feel a little guilty at times. But when the guilt starts to seep in, I just remember who I am. I remember that I can do anything and everything I decide to do. My grandmother use to say ” you just have to set your mind to it”
You do know you are what dreams are made of right? You are magic! You have that thing that only you have that makes you special! That’s your magic! You can’t let fear, doubt, guilt, are anything else take your magic.
I love words of affirmation, so when I found this poem It reminded me of the beauty I posses. Everyone should feel this way about themselves.
My Pledge of Allegiance to Me
Written by Letitia L. Hodge
There’s more to me than the human eye can see.
I’m a woman of purpose and destiny.
A perfect design, I’m special and unique.
I won’t be identified by the parts that make
up my physique.
My beauty is not defined by my skin or my hair
and my soul has more value than
the clothes that I wear.
I’m not a symbol of pleasure or sex appeal;
I have the natural ability to comfort
and the power to heal.
When God made me, He created a gem
because He fashioned me in the likeness of Him.
I refuse to do anything that will put God to shame.
I deserve to be treated with reverence
and called by my name.
I can’t be purchased or sold at any price
because I’ve already been bought and paid
for by the precious blood of Christ!
I praise You because I am fearfully and
Ya feel me? Better yet do you feel yourself? Stay in your magic and Be blessed💋
What’s good my good people? It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. It’s been 7 weeks, and in blog life that like 2 years lol. Allow my to reintroduce myself.
My name is Uhura. I am the founder of Mrsphatandnaptural, and I’m not a blogger. I’m a resource.
My hiatus started with me trying to find my way through mourning the loss of a good friend. I told myself I needed to take some time to deal with what I was feeling. The days rolled into weeks and here we are! During these weeks I had to reevaluate my direction and revisit my motivation for starting this platform.
Here’s my why: Originally the idea started out of my frustration in trying to find a dress for a friend’s wedding.I felt as if there were limited options for me. Most of the dresses weren’t flattering, and even fewer were fashionably up to date. Everything I found made me feel older, bigger, or out of fashion. I was so discouraged by the process that I ended up not going to the wedding. When I began my transition to natural hair, I struggled with finding the right products, routine, and regime to get my hair healthy and fit for public viewing. I knew I had to do something for other women struggling with these issues.
It is God’s will I have a blog. My objective is first and foremost to honor my purpose and spread the word of God’s Love. Second is combination showcase and information platform for my Sisters. This has been such a blessing to me, I have virtually and physically meet so many people whom have enriched my life. My prayer is that I have done the same for someone else. I hope you love the ride as much as I do. Thank you for being with me.
If there was one thing you could do that would make your natural hair journey easier would you do it? It’s so simple, yet so many naturalistas miss this valued resource in the natural hair community. Better yet, even more don’t even know it exist! The one thing you can do is attend a natural hair meet up. It’s better than buying all the products in the isle, binge watching your favorite YouTube vlogger, and reading blog posts til your eyes are tired.
How many times have you watched a YouTube tutorial, followed all the steps, and didn’t get the desired result? Or read a blog post, ran out and bought the product, followed all the steps only to fail? If this has ever happened to you, you need to go right now and buy a ticket to the next meet up in your area!
Now I could go through a laundry list of reason why natural hair meet ups are a valued resource, but I’m gonna pick my top three reasons.
Face 2 Face Education
Yes that’s correct many of the local bloggers and vloggers, attend, host and guest speak at meet ups. So what’s better than a one on one conversation about your issue? Depending on the topic, and focus of the meet up there may be a panel discussion / Q&A or better yet they may just be mingling and you could ask them your questions personally. Not to mention there are usually tons of fellow Natralistas that have had the same problem you have and are more then willing to share their solutions with you. Very often natural hair meetups have:
Usually one or more full sized product will be included in the swag bags! All thought I’ve never been to one like this, but at the very least you will get samples and valuable discounts towards the purchase of products. I’ve always gotten between 1-5 full sized products as well as samples. This is a low cost way to build your product stash. The investment of the ticket purchase is usually a lot lower then the cost of product you will receive. Also, there are usually great give away sponsors, for prizes, raffles, and games.
And the very last but yet equally as important resource that natural hair meetups provide is access to the your local Curlfriends! There’s no substitute for surrounding yourself with like minded Curlies! They not only provide support and encouragement but also much needed comfort in the journey. I have meet so many wonderful young ladies that I would have never met in any other circumstance. Some are business owners, bloggers, long term naturalists, hair stylist, and so on.
There one last thing I feel is important to mention, you have to support your local natural hair community! That’s how brands decide if they are going to sponsor events, and or sell products in your area. If you don’t have a natural hair community in your area why not start one ?
Are you apart of a local natural hair community? If so give them a shout out in the comments! If not and you are looking to join one, drop a comment and we’d be more that happy to get you connected!
Please follow us on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter for more information, and inspiration!
I just have to say I am still on a high from the experience of basking in the presence of over 150 women representing NJ Curlfriends. We had a ball! I surly hope everyone got more than they expected because I sure did! It was 4 hours of entertainment, education, shopping, food, and dancing! All while celebrating our fellow sisters and a few brothers lol, in a positive encouraging space. What’s better than that?
Speaking of the space, the place was beautiful! For the third year Cabriella from International Hair Design was the ever gracious New Jersey Host for the Montclair NJ leg of this 40 city, 3 country, 3 continent affair. It was held in the Montclair State University Conference Center! Surrounded on two sides with massive window that seem to reach the sky! If you could imagine it was elegantly casual! Yeah that’s it! Although the space is obviously a beautiful state of the art space, the warm nature and inclusive vibe made it ok to let your guard down and bare and share in the wealth of love, information, and kinship.
Thirty-Five Curlfriends purchased VIP admission which gave them early entry,a VIP reception, as well as swag bags sponsored by the INHMD 2016 title sponsors with full sized products from Made Beautiful, Eden Bodyworks, and others!
What’s a movie with out a soundtrack? DJ Twin kept us rocking with his Jersey blend of Club and Soul tunes.
We started the day off with New Jersey based motivation speaker Iamlunic. She set the room a blaze with her energy! Unfortunately, I was so caught up in her speech that I didn’t think to record her!
Next up was Quality Healthcare, who spoke about the heart health. As you must have heard Heart Disease is the leading cause of death for African American Women.
There were 2 demos, first was a hair demo by Scarlet of Wondercurl. She demonstrated a wash n go style using her hair products.
Next was local Naturalist and Holistic Hair Healer Ahava Feliciadad. Her presentation was “natural” is a four letter word, F. R. E. E. She spoke about the freedom of being natural.
There were many vendors selling everything from skinny tea, butters, African fashions, and the most beautiful clutches and earrings!
I was honored to be one of two New Jersey based bloggers to be in the Social Media Lounge. It was Spencer ( Curly Empress) and myself. Curlfriends that came over to our corner were gifted mini hair journals or detangling combs. The first visitors were also gifted a full size bottle leave-in sponsored none other than the maker of my favorite scalp and hair oil Janomi hair products. Thanks to Adrienne of Janomi 2 other Curlfriends also received full sized bottles of the oil! We also had a selfie station set up with our Glam light.
The final segment was a question and answer panel where we got to answer direct questions from Curlfriend regarding, working out with natural hair, hair porosity, dryness, and so on. Missed out on the fun? No worries, I got you! Although INHMD is only once a year, if you are following us on social media👉 ( Instagram,Facbook, Twitter ) we will be sure to keep you updated on all the latest happening!
It’s no secret that hair sheds more in the colder temps of winter, and to top all it off; the cold air will freeze the water on your tresses and snap them right off! One of the biggest factors is dryness,which is caused by inadequate protection from the cold air. This is what I like to call the “winter fall off”. In urban slang, to “fall off” means you are not looking your best. If you are slipping, one would say he or she “fell off”. This term is also literal, your hair will Fall Off your head! This is why so many people do those protective style challenges in the colder months.
Here are 6 products that get the Mrsphatandnaptural lazy natural stamp of approval to combat the “Winter Fall Off”.
All of these products can be found at your local beauty supply or drug store hair care isle:
1. Sheamoisture Superfruit Complex 10 n 1 Renewal System- Hair and Scalp Serum. This little baby here is the truth! I was introduced to this item in one of my swag bags from a Kinks n Drinks event given by Tribe Called Curl. As usual I had the bottle for months and never touched it. But as I searched for a proper winter hair regimen I decided to give it a try. Oh was I pleased! I’ll start with the down side, it’s in a little glass bottle with a dropper and I must have spilled it fifty – leven times! Other than that it works wonders, I mostly used it as a pre poo, but I’ve also run a few drops through my hair as moisturizer during daily styling. It smells heavenly, and the scent lasts all day!
2. Sheamoisture Superfruit Complex 10 n 1 Renewal System- Shampoo & Conditioner with Marula Oil & Biotin. I love together. The shampoo lathers well, and cleanses very good with out stripping the hair. Down side, it’s not that thick out of the bottle, so I had to get use to not wasting it as I poured it into my hands. The conditioner is also awesome, it has great slip, and does a good job adding softness to my hair.
3. NuNaat- Garlic Magic Leave In. Yes garlic, no it does not smell like garlic! I was introduced to this in my Return Of The Curls swag bag. I wrote to them and they sent me the entire Garlic Magic line. Although I didn’t care for the other products, I love the Leave in! It softened my hair and kept it moisturized and manageable. I used it as my first step in my LOC Method (Leave in, Oil, Cream)
4. Tropic Isle Living- Jamaican Black Castor Oil. This is the second step in my LOC Method. What can I say, it woks! No secrets or tricks here. Just rub it on your edges and ends to seal and protect them. I also massage my edges and nape area with a mixture of 1/3 JBCO, 1/3 Olive Oil, 1/3 grape seed oil as a mid week refresher at night. The only draw back is the smell is strong but not stinky. There are other scented versions but I haven’t tried them.
5. Carols Daughter- Hair Milk Original Leave In Moisturizer. This is my third step for my LOC (Leave in, Oil, Cream) Method. This product is thick enough to be used as a cream although it’s labeled as a Leave In. It has a more creamy consistency then moist leave ins and even works as a heat protectant when I blow dry my hair. I also use this product for daily maintenance. It doesn’t sit on my hair and weight it down. I have no down side to say about this product, but the words rubbed off the bottle.
6. Shea Moisture Raw Sheabutter Extra-Moisture Detangler- Well technically this is number seven because I counted the shampoo and conditioner as 1 entry, but any way. I got this from my Hairstory Swaportunity that I had in October. As a Detangler I didn’t care for it. The feel is very slippery and I didn’t like it. But one of my friends told my she uses it as a leave in, and her hair always looks bomb. So, I decided to give it a shot on my twists. I loved it! It left my hair shinny and feeling soft and moist for days. It’s heavy the first night but by morning my twits looked shinny and healthy!
As you can see the way you use the products are just as important as the products you use.
We’d love to hear from you! Drop us a comment below, or if your not following us on social media you should be! What are some of the products you’re using this winter? Have you ever tried any of these products? Let us know what you’re loving or not loving this winter!
As the kitchen beautician would “Here’s to more hair” toot a loo!
As I was writing this, I thought about how it makes me happy that my sons kiss me as soon as they see me. The other day I was trying to make a YouTube video (for the first time) and my middle son walked in and kissed me as I was taping. Before I could get upset, I laughed at myself. Even though I fussed at him, he came right in, kissed me and kept talking on his phone. I told him later that I was trying to tape and that his kiss was in the video and he thought it was so cool. Even now thinking back on that day it brings me Joy.
Now; for the business of “Cultivating Joy”, the term cultivate is usually used in an agricultural since. One definition means to nurture or help grow. So we are growing Joy here!
1. Acknowledge- See the little beauties that are with you every day. Experience the world through the eyes of gratitude. By taking time to be fully present in the thing you are doing, you are allowing yourself to experience the joy..
2. Connect- Surround yourself with the people, places and things that make you happy. If talking to your BFF or even your BF makes you happy, make an intentional effort to connect with them. If you took a vacation that was your favorite, print out the pictures and hang one or two of them up somewhere that will remind you of the fun!
3. Laugh- In today’s world of social media, there are more than enough Vines, Videos, and Snaps, that you can look up just to get a laugh! I know I love when someone shares a funny clip in the morning! That’s a sure way to get me on your page all day!
4. List Your Loves- it’s just what it sounds like. A list of things you love, it’s almost like a play list. I actually have a love list of bloggers that I can always get inspiration from. I also have a love list of quotes, bible scriptures, and of course songs.
5. Put It On- I used to be a holder onto(er) lol. My favorite perfume, clothes, shoes, what ever. For some reason I would hold onto my favorite things and not use them. I still don’t get why, but what I do get is, I don’t do it anymore. Now I wear my favorite perfume everyday! When I’m feeling a little glum, I get glam! That perks my right up.
For some of us joy is a fleeting emotion. Or something that can only be attained by others. Very often we attach our since of joy to certain accomplishments. These events can contribute to the feeling of joy, however to cultivate authentic joy, you have to look within. Only you can make you happy. What are some ways that you cultivate joy? Tell me in the comments below!
With the coming of every new year, we make resolutions, declarations, commitments or what ever you want to call them. Very often we don’t even keep them for one week. The biggest reason is because we have these unrealistic unnatural goals, but we are not committing to the process. So Naturally we FAIL!
What if we were to take a more natural approach to these goals? Here’s what I mean. If you have made a goal to exercise every morning, but yet you have trouble getting up in the morning, more than likely you will not accomplish this goal easily. However if you tend to stay up later, or you religiously watch your favorite TV program, why not make a goal to work out during the commercials, or before you go to bed? This is more natural to you.
Likewise if you have a financial goal, but you are an impulse spender, plan your trip to the store, and only take enough cash to buy what’s in the plan. Need I say leave your card at home!
The standard saying is “it takes 21 times to make a habit”
but it also takes 21 times to change a behavior. If you have a particular habit that you want to stop, why not replace that motion with a similar motion just a better one. I remember when my Father was trying to stop smoking after 35 years and up to 2 1/2 packs a day. He found that putting a piece of gum in his mouth was the same motion and filled the urge. Surprisingly after about 15 days the urge to have a cigarette went away. The natural pattern was still the same, he just changed the product.
For me, one of my personal goals is to grind as hard for my own dreams as I do for others. I am naturally a pleaser. This one isn’t as easy, but I’m learning to see my success as an inspiration to please others with the information I give. Thereby serving my cause as well as my natural desire to help others.
So, as the new year comes in and you begin to make plans for living a better life, keep your natural tendencies in perspective. Use them to your advantage.
So as we leave 2015 and you start to evaluate your year and make plans for your future remember to just act natural.