“And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.”
Genesis 1:11-13 ESV
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sped through the creation story, never recognizing the blessing in divine order. God created fruit beating trees, vegetation, and plants yielding seed .i.e “food” days before there was anything living to eat the food. Three days before creating man,on the 6th day, and two days before creating the animals on the fifth day.
On the third day God provided provision. Before there was even a need. He had not yet created Adam and Eve yet he made provisions for them.
This is exactly the way God makes provision for us! Well in advance of our need, God has already provided the “food”. But how often are we speeding by the creation because it seems insignificant?
Or maybe we have a picture of what said blessing should look like, so we can’t acknowledge the blessing when it shows up, because it’s not packaged the way we think it should be.
Well, we know what happened to the last “people” that rejected a blessing because it didn’t appear they way they thought it should right? Ok then, enough said.
The challenge for us is to see the provision and care, even when it is different than we expect, because God is God, his ways are not like our ways, and His thought are higher than our thoughts.
First we must have faith. When we put your faith in Christ, God commissions himself to protect, provide, and care for us.
When you put your faith in Christ, the bible tells us we will have what ever we so desire. God always provides for his children, though often it is not in the way we expect or hope.
So as I bring this message to a close I leave you with the following scripture
Matthew 7:7-8 NIV
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
I remember facing my first summer with natural hair. The thought of sweaty, nappy, unruly hair was the vision I had! I was so used to having relaxed hair, I had no idea what I was going to do. Little did I know that summer was my hair’s best growth season. All I had to do was follow a few easy tips, and this lazy natural was on her way to an easy growth spurt!
Now over the years I’ve added a few more, but here are my Summertime hair care tips to maximize your growth season!
1. Clean Time In Between Time: Keeping your hair clean, and moisturized. This is my number one hair tip. Even if you don’t wash it every week, do a quick Cowash in between your wash sessions.
2. Get Down To The Root Of It: Your hair grows directly from your scalp, so it is important to keep your scalp clean and healthy and free from debris. A healthy scalp is probably one of the most underrated necessities for healthy and or long hair.
3. Let Go Of What’s Not Serving You: Get a fresh trim. Even if you only trim once a year, make it a summer trim. While your hair is growing you don’t want it to be stunted by those dead ends. They are useless!
4. Wet Your Whistle: Drink plenty of water! Very often the summer is dry and hot, so you want to make sure you drink plenty of water. By staying hydrated you are also giving your hair hydration.
5. Aloe There Honey: Use humectants to increase the moisture in your hair. I love natural humectants such as aloe Vera juice, and honey. You can add the aloe vera juice to your spray bottle and spritz your hair at night before bed. Or add some honey to your conditioner. This will add softness and shine like you wouldn’t believe.
6. Soak & Seal: By soaking your hair with clear water and sealing with your favorite oil before swimming, you limit the amount of chlorine or salt water that your hair will absorb. Even though this is a no brainer, I’m just gonna say it anyway wash and condition after swimming alright.
7. Keep It Moving: Get out and get some sun. Go for a walk, or go to a fair or carnival and walk around. The circulation will increase blood flow and encourage healthy hair growth.
8. Style With Ease: Employ protect styles, and easy pony tails and buns. The less pulling the better. If you’re ever going to try a wash n go, this is the time! Layer that product on and let it ride!
9. Don’t Be A Hot Head: It’s impossible to keep your hair healthy if you are burning it out. This means the sun too. If you are going to be out in the hot sun for prolonged periods, make sure you cover your head or use a protective product. Just as you have to protect your skin, your hair needs protection as well.
10. Embrace The Ohm! : This is so underrated! Let the easy breezy summer feel sink in! Enjoy the warm weather. Go to the movies, the music festival, hit as many street fairs as you can fit in. Believe you me, you tresses feel the stresses!
These are our basic Summer time tips to make sure you have happy, healthy, fluffy summer hair! Now go forth and play and slay all day!
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
Song of Songs 4:7 NIV
First and foremost God loves you and
“You were born flawless”
Auntie Oprah likes to say babies come into the world trailing the breath of Angels. They know they are born flawless.
As we grow through life and experiences we get imprinted with images, encounters and other people’s beliefs and ideas which cause us to question our flawless-ness. These people who imprint their beliefs, and fears on our psyche, sometimes think they are doing us a favor.
I’m not just talking about tramatic or drastic things. Sometimes these are subtle consistant themes or words that we hear or are being told that slowly seep into our being. And before you know it, you and self doubt are old roommates!
Self doubt can hold you hostage. Usually there are two extremes. Either you exhaust your self trying to over compensate for your feelings of inadequacy. Or you become paralyzed with fear of failure and never step out on faith.
You end up standing by, questioning every thought and watching everyone else get what God has for them. Sometimes this can ever make you bitter, or worst yet, you become a hater! You hate on any and everything because you can’t find your joy. But all you have to do is realize that it’s you that holds your own self back!
How to have a totally awesome life 👉 ( old post same thoughts)
You need only to make a decision to seek your own happiness!
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown
Here are three steps to embracing your normal:
#1 The first step is to stop comparing yourself to others! Their normal is not your normal. Even identical twins are not completely the same. There is no other human being that has your specific gifts and talents. What God gave you is uniquely created to bring forth your purpose.
#2 Stop questioning yourself! You are more than enough. Don’t let that imposter syndrome make you believe that, what you have is not for you. Consider God’s grace. When you feel undeserving, that’s a reminder to be grateful! God’s Grace has shined upon you. Give God The Glory!
#3 Forget trying to be perfect! I’m not saying don’t do your best, but your best is as perfect as it gets. If you start taking the steps towards your dreams, have faith that God will magnify them. I remember as a young parent, I would have a certain vision in mind that I want to create for my children. I’d get as much as I could, but not the way I had envisioned. So in my mind, I would immediately start thinking of apologies for not being good enough. And before I could open my mouth to apologize, they were thanking me and showing me how grateful they were.
So remember short, tall or bald, you are flawless! Big belly, flat booty,skinny legs, big legs, you are still flawless! Walk in your beauty and embrace your normal!
Love others as you love yourself, but you must first love yourself!
Mrsphatandnaptural Turns 3 years old today! Whoo hoo! I may not be where some have risen to in 3 years, but I’m still here! Over these 3 short years I have found many new friends both online and in person. I’ve attended, held, and hosted many events. I’ve even traveled to 2 states that I had never been to for just to attend Plus Sized Fashion and or Natural Hair events. I’ve have also been featured on a few online sites, namely Essence.com.
Still I’d have to say the biggest “get” from the last 3 years of blogging has to be tapping into a supportive sisterhood that I didn’t even realize existed. They are an encouraging, loving, creative bastion of knowledge and experiences that I can’t seem to go a day without…( okay so I’m a social media junkie) lol. That aside I love being apart of this collective!
As I move forward with Mrsphatandnaptural some things will change. In the spirit of serving those who need what I’m cooking up, I will commit to staying honest, current, and open to God using me. I will continue to give you all the tips tricks and styles of the latest conversation. I will do the product reviews and include you into my battle with this belly! But I will also share with you my love for God and all things good for your soul!
Remember to celebrate yourself! And just know God doesn’t make any mistakes, and that includes you!
Spring is now upon us, and this is the perfect time to wear protective styles. In most cases your hair grows the best, and you retain more length in the warmer weather. That being said, here are a few tips to maximize your hair growth while wearing protective styles. When I wrote this post, I was thinking of Braids and Weaves, but there are quite a few ways to do protective styles. These tips apply to them all.
1. Make Sure Your Scalp Is Clean & Healthy before Install. – This should kind of be a no brainer. None the less, if you have bumps, redness, soars, are anything like this, wait until your scalp is healed. Likewise always start with clean dry hair (trimmed if needed) to get the best results.
2. Deep Condition & Moisturize Your Natural Hair. – If You are going to keep this style in for a few weeks, you want to make sure you are taking care of your natural hair so it doesn’t break off during this time.
3. Avoid Excessive Pulling And Or Tugging. This is so important! Your hair is not permanently attached to your head. Too much pulling and tugging will cause your hair to rip out right at the root. It could even cause you to lose sections of hair. If it hurts bad, take it out!
4. Massage Your Scalp Daily- This is to keep circulation going, and promote a healthy scalp. I use my favorite oil, but it works even if you just use your finger tips. This is part of my nighttime routine any way. But I just do it a little longer when I have a protective style.
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5. Keep Your Hair & Scalp Moisturized and Free From Build Up. – It’s important to maintain a clean scalp at all times but especially when wearing protective styles. This will help you prolong your style, and avoid itching. There are several ways to keep your scalp build up free, even if you suffer from flaky scalp. The easiest way is to take a wash cloth with warm water,and a little shampoo if you prefer and simply wipe between the twists or braids freeing and removing debris from your scalp. You could also do this same technique with baby wipes. Or for a deeper clean you can mix some Apple Cider Vinegar with some water, put it in a nozzle bottle and apply it in the parts of your hair. This does require rinsing. I usually put the hair in 2-4 buns so it doesn’t get all wet, and when I rinse I try to only let the water rinse my scalp. Also there are lots of brands that make products for what they call “under care” it means your hair under your protective style.
6. Cover Your Head When Sleeping- Simple and plain. This helps to preserve your style, as well as protect your natural hair while you sleep. After all, that is the point of protective styling right!
7. Put Your Hair In A Bun Whenever Possible- this helps to reduce the tress on your natural hair. The more you keep it up, the less weight you have pulling on your tresses. And of course the obvious, it looks so cute!
8. Clean Your Hair & Scalp Regularly- I mean actually wash your hair. I’ve detailed and ACV rinse for your scalp above, that can also be used on your hair about once a month. I usually was mine about every 2 weeks. I take the shampoo ( right now I’m loving Eden Body Works Peppermint Shampoo) and massage it directly on my scalp. Then I put my hair in 2 buns and rinse it out when I get in the shower. You can let it air dry or you can sit under a hooded dryer.
9. After 6-7 Weeks A Protective Style Can Cause Damage. Now I know some people women who leave their weaves and braids in for up to 12 weeks or maybe even longer. However this is a very dangerous practice. After 6-8 weeks the hair begins to week and damage and breakage begins to occur for most people.
10. Carefully Remove & Detangle When Uninstalling- After one week two weeks are even 12 weeks, your hair has been shedding, (about 100 hairs a day) but the hairs have stayed in place because you haven’t manipulated it. Now the dead or shed hair can and will break loose when you remove the protective style. The hair shaft itself is in a weakened state so you want to be careful not to break off any more hair than has to. I normally remove my hair in sections, detangle and apply a prepoo all in one step. This helps me get ready to wash and deep condition shortly after I takedown my protective style.
Any questions? Lol, just remember wearing a protective style is all about maximizing your hair growth periods. In the past women wore them specifically for that reason. Now sometimes it’s about style, sometimes it’s about ease of lifestyle, or just plain laziness. What every your reason, these tips will help you make the most of it.
Well it’s officially the Summer 17 season. As we begin to slow down and get into the easy breezy summer feel, nothing says summer style like a great protective hair style.
I love protective styles, but I hate how long they take to install. Until now, the crochet technique is back on the scene, and I’m oh so happy!
The crochet technique is an old trend that’s become new again. I used to wear crochet braids back in the late 90’s ( Yeah I know some of ya’ll were just babes). But today’s styles and techniques are so much more advanced. The whole idea of the crochet braids is it allows you to achieve a great looking protective style in a fraction of the time. There are so many styles and techniques out there today, but it’s just like us lazy naturals to find a short cut, to the short cut, lol. We’ve gathered 5 of the most popular styles and found them in a crochet technique which not only slices the installation time, it also makes it easy for any and everybody to be able to do it.
1. Now this one is for the beginner ! It only requires that you can plat your hair.
Easy 6 plat crochet
2. This one is similar to number one but it takes a little more skill.
No Cornrow Crochet
3. How about box braids? I know, what a time saver!
Box Braid Crochet
4. This one is not so easy, but it’s easier and takes less skill than other techniques that I’ve seen. This is my favorite look of all five.
5. This is a style that I was shocked to see in a crochet technique, but after I watched the videos I couldn’t wait to try it.
I will be doing some version of number 5 very soon. I love the feed braids because the are easy in and easy out! I’ll more than likely get 3 or 4 at some point during Summer ’17. What is your favorite protective styles? Hit us up on Facebook Facebook.com/mrsphatandnaptural and let us know what you’d like to see next.
Trends come and go but classic style lasts forever
Hello March! Well by the calendar Spring is on the way. But by the thermometer, it’s not quit that time yet! I’m not one of those girls who follow all the trends. Instead I like to add a few trends to my classic wardrobe so it lasts and I always look up to date.
This Red trench is about 5 years old. It has a classic cut so it never goes out of style. I love the gold buttons and the red color that give it just the added touch to keep it complimentary.
Ever since I could remember, I’ve been most comfortable in a tight pair of jeans and a snug T-shirt. In my younger years they would most definitely be paired with a pair of hot kicks ( depending on where you are from you probably call them sneakers or tennis shoes). As an over 40 year old woman, I still love my jeans and T-shirt, but today I pair them with a sexy knee boot. These wide calf over the knee boots are from Ashley Stewart. The perforated leather clutch is Thrifted a few years ago. The black Jeggins are also from Asley Stewart.
This is one of my favorite T-shirts. I am a self proclaimed T-shirts snob. I am very funny about the fit and feel of my T-shirts. Again, they need to feel classic and timeless. For me this graphic tee from Alldemshades.com is the hottest. As you can see I love the saying “Black Girls Are Lit🔥” . I remind my self of that everyday! Now I’m not saying any other girls aren’t, but I don’t know about them. But what I do know is, even without Michelle in the White House, even without Taraji winning the Oscar, even without Beyoncé winning the Grammy
First things first…confession time. As much as I love my hair, I am not a lover of the wash day tango! I’ve heard the argument.
” If you don’t love your washday, maybe you need to change your regemin”.
I think there may be some truth to that statement, but in my case I can’t agree. I’ve never liked washday, even when I was a kid. My hair has always been very thick and adding water is my kryptonite! Unfortunately for me there is no way around it, to have hhealthy hair, you have to keep it cleansed. Since returning to natural I’ve found a few tips and tricks that help cut down on time and stress to my tresses. BT dubs, this is also post 3 in series of 10 billion on 101 Natural Hair Tips. For now check out our washday tips and I’ll link the other post ( Natural Hair Basics 1 and 2) at then end of the post.
21. Detangle Hair before washing.
I’m sure you’ve heard this one before, but it’s the number one tip to reduce hair loss and cut down on wash time. Section the hair into as many sections as needed ( usually 4-6). Depending on how tangled my hair is I sometimes start with as many as eight and combine a few of them in larger chunky twists as I go along. Try added some conditioner and water to aide in the process. Use a clip to pin up the completed section.
22.Detangle using a wide tooth comb, detangling brush, or your fingers.
My fingers are my magic tool of choice. When using your fingers, you get to feel the hair as you are detagling. However I also love detangling combs and brushes. The wider the tooth the better. Make sure your comb or bush doesn’t have any missing or broken teeth. They could snag or pull on your hair and cause damage to your strands. I usually end up with 4 sections.
23. Start detangling from ends and work towards the root.
There is one very simple rule in place here. Don’t comb from the root to tip. By starting at the ends and working your way up the shaft it minimizes hair loss. The most effective technique that I have found is to add the conditioner, and finger detangle under running water.
This simple step will avoid retangling your tresses. Apply the shampoo at the root and work towards the ends. Make sure to cleanse the scalp, by gently massaging the scalp with your finger tips. Then work the later down the twist to the ends. Avoid using a circular motion this can encourage tangles and clumping of the hair.
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25. Use sulfate free shampoo, cowashs, or ACV rinses to cleanse your hair.
Now I’m not hear to agrue for or against either method. I’ve used all three and they all work. However, if you find that your normal products aren’t working you may need to do a clarifying shampoo. I do one every 2 or 3 months.
26. After shampooing spray hair with olive oil.
After shampooing but before conditioning, run some Olive oil through your hair. I find this helps with manageability and softness,especially between deep conditioning. Rinse all the shampoo out. Run some Olive oil through your hair. Work down the shaft, the rinse.
27. Apply conditioner with praying hands method.
I know it sound weird but just give it a try. It will decrease the opportunity for tangles, as well as coax the cuticle to lay flat. The cleaning process raises the cuticle, and now we need to make sure it starts the process of closing to lock in the moisture.
28. Deep condition with heat.
Adding heat helps to penetrate the hair shaft increasing the effectivness of the product. If you don’t have a hooded dryer, use a plastic cap, or plastics bags and use your own body heat.
29. Be careful of protein overload.
Although protein is good for your hair, you don’t want to over do it. I’ve read if the label says “repair” wither its a DC or a leave in, it has protein in it. Too much protein will cause excessive drying and damage. It’s almost as bad as heat damage, which ironically protein prevents…but that’s for a future post.
30. Document The Process !
I can’t stress this enough. I can’t tell you how much impact this will have on increasing the amount of good hair days. It’s like cooking from a recipe verses cooking from memory. By keeping a simple hair journal of what products you used and how you used them, you’ll easily be able to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
Now here’s to an easier washday! For more tips click the links below.
As we left 2016, I couldn’t help but notice all of the references, posts, and comments on how bad the year was for a lot of people. I even saw some uber talented individuals made an actual horror movie trailer of all the headlines. It was hilarious! However this only further proves my point that so many people are feeling dispaire. To use the words of our current FLOTUS ” We are feeling what not having hope feels like” . But please let me encourage you don’t get “Trumped Up”. There is always hope. As long as we are here among the living, it is our duty to make everyday the best day, and be grateful for the opportunity to do so.
I’m not saying we won’t have bad days. I’m just saying don’t stay in the dark places too long! As for me, I am claiming 2017 the year I live with purpose. I believe in my magic! Are you with me?
Here are five ways you can speak life into your new year!
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You become what you say about yourself. So keep it positive. This is something we’ve all heard all our lives. You know, if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all. Even in scripture ” For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of”. So fill your heart with good words. Sometimes I print my favorite quotes and hang them in places where I can see them when I need encouragement. I have them in my car, around my house, and oh boy do I have them around my office at work. Lol that’s a whole other story 😁. I also keep my vision board posted by my mirror and it is my screen saver on my phone. It reminds me to keep the good vibes.
2. Hold Your Thoughts Captive
Be intentional with your thoughts. I’ll be the first one to say, this is hard! But it’s so necessary. You can’t let the negative talk begin. When you feel the negatity taking over, redirect your thoughts. If you like music, this is a perfect time to create a playlist. Play those songs when you know you need a pick me up. If you have a favorite motivational speaker or podcast hit play and get it into your head. Again the quotes, and words of affirmation come in handy here as well. I once had a difficult coworker that I had to deal with everyday. Someone gave me a workplace prayer, which I hung on the wall right behind my monitor, so I read it all day everyday. It helped me to be mindful of my reactions to her aggressive behavior. Without my reaction she had no fuel. Eventually she stopped her behavior with me and moved on to another coworker which got her fired.
3. Surround Yourself With Good People
Even if the people around you don’t understand what you are trying to do, as long as the don’t try to project their fears on you, they are good people. Sometimes people are so use to being negative, and gossiping, and talking bad about people that they don’t see anything wrong with it. Stay away from this! My dad use to say, if you bring a bone you’ll carry a bone. In other words the same person who’s talking negatively with you will do the same about you.
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Like Beyoncé said,” I’m feeling myself ” sometimes you just have to feel you own self! BT dubs have you seen Insecure AF on HBO,? I love the way Issa raps to herself in the mirror! Lol I’m not saying you have to break out your rhyme book, but you can stand in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful, smart, and wonderful you are. I saw an old clip of Jay Z on Hot 97, saying how his uncle told him he’d never sell a million records, and he didn’t believe him. He knew he’d sell a million records and that’s all that mattered.
5. Do Your Best
This one doesn’t take much explaining.Go the extra mile! Work at your best, and you’ll yeild the best results.
With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season upon us, we have to be careful to make time to keep ourselves spiritual strong. Sometimes we women loose ourselves trying to meet all the needs of those around us. We serve our husbands, children, bosses, and communities and we forget or are just too tired to serve ourselves. I know for me, doing things for myself makes me feel a little guilty at times. But when the guilt starts to seep in, I just remember who I am. I remember that I can do anything and everything I decide to do. My grandmother use to say ” you just have to set your mind to it”
You do know you are what dreams are made of right? You are magic! You have that thing that only you have that makes you special! That’s your magic! You can’t let fear, doubt, guilt, are anything else take your magic.
I love words of affirmation, so when I found this poem It reminded me of the beauty I posses. Everyone should feel this way about themselves.
My Pledge of Allegiance to Me
Written by Letitia L. Hodge
There’s more to me than the human eye can see.
I’m a woman of purpose and destiny.
A perfect design, I’m special and unique.
I won’t be identified by the parts that make
up my physique.
My beauty is not defined by my skin or my hair
and my soul has more value than
the clothes that I wear.
I’m not a symbol of pleasure or sex appeal;
I have the natural ability to comfort
and the power to heal.
When God made me, He created a gem
because He fashioned me in the likeness of Him.
I refuse to do anything that will put God to shame.
I deserve to be treated with reverence
and called by my name.
I can’t be purchased or sold at any price
because I’ve already been bought and paid
for by the precious blood of Christ!
I praise You because I am fearfully and
Ya feel me? Better yet do you feel yourself? Stay in your magic and Be blessed💋