Yes, it’s finally starting to feel like Fall! So you know what that means, the best of the best in fashion! Only Fall allows us to rock our cutest wears layered upon layer. This Fall one of the things your going to see is daytime sequins. Who knew you could rock a sequin dress with almost knee boots 😜 and an Army coat? Well me of course! It’s the ultimate pretty tomboy.
You will see these glitter bombs of sequins on everything, from jeans to sweaters, and yes even on a camouflage dress!
In the spirit of too much is never enough, I went ahead and styled the sequined dress from Ashley Stewart, with some slouch boots, and an Army coat which I got from Lane Bryant. I picked the Steve Madden Camo tote up over the summer on one of my Thrifty Treasure Hunts from Plato’s Closet.
The slouch boots and the Army coat gives the dress just the street cred it needs! If needed I can also style the dress with some tights and pumps for work, or take it all the way to the gutter with some combat boots!
So, I actually wore this same look to church with out the Army coat. I must admit, I love shinny things! I am loving this glitter bomb, daytime sequins trend! Are you feeling it? How are you going to rock it? Or if you are not feeling it, tell us why? Leave a comment and let know! Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Phattystyle!
Talk to you later, but until then keep on shining! ✨
There is something about the hot days and bright colors of Summer that lends itself to endless promises of fun filled days and exhausting excitement! I know, I always think of vacations, easy living, quick meals, cold treats and tons of barbecues, brunches, and outdoor events that are just beaming with happy beautiful people, just enjoying life and living in pure joy! But is that really true? It can be if you say Yes to self!
This Summer I knew I wouldn’t be able to go on an epic vacation, so I made a conscious decision to enjoy my Summer Saturdays to the fullest. Instead of lamenting about what I couldn’t do, I chose to enjoy what I could. Believe me you, it wasn’t easy to watch my friends and family traveling to and from Aruba, Greece, Sol, even China and Dubai! I made the decision to live through them instead of being ungrateful for what I have. Yes, I embarked on epic vacation like experience for myself on my Summer Saturdays!
I spent most of my Summer 17 Saturdays hitting up free music festivals, going sight seeing, and flea market treasure hunting. I treated myself to a Mary J Blige concert. Yes, two days before the show, I looked up the tickets and saw that they still had seats for the MSG show. I texted my girls and they were more than excited to go. Normally I would have talked myself out of going. Just because it wasn’t planned in advanced, but I’m so glad that I said yes to myself! We had a ball, all three of us work hard and take great care of our families, but we rarely do something just for ourselves. Yes, Treat Yo Self!
I knew I had already purchased my ticket to TheCurvycon being held during New York Fashion Week, so I knew I had that to look forward to as well. Yes, being in the company of so many confident, beautiful, positive, curvy women and men is intoxicating! Yes, Find Yo Tribe!
I was invited to the New Jersey Hair N Beauty Expo as a special invited guest. The initial yes was to the invite. I was excited to be in the collective of all the New Jersey naturals from my area. Then wouldn’t you know it, I was asked to be on the panel, to answer questions about my natural hair journey, and to encourage and instruct new naturalists! Yes, I said Yes! Yes, To Yo Testimony!
So the calendar says it’s the start of fall, but the temperatures have been hotter this past week, than many of the days in our so called summer. We Say Goodbye to the season, but we don’t have to say the promise. Carry the feeling of seeking joy into to Fall by saying Yes To Self!
How did you spend your Summer? Did you do things that make you happy? Did you say Yes To Self? Let me know in the comments how your plan to say yes to yourself.
Girl, I lost my edges! Well not all, but my hair was really thinning out, like most women of color, I pride myself on laid edges and a good ponytail. But if those edges thin out, that ponytail ain’t so laid. I’d come to face these two identical thinning spots on both sides of my head, as a sign of the times. By times, I mean getting older. So, I tried to work around this now problematic area, I wore less ponytails, and when wearing a ponytail, I ensured it was not pulled too tightly or too low. But this wasn’t enough! I was losing strands and it was too noticeable to me!
I do not wear many protective styles, (not that I am against them), so besides a ponytail, my hair is never pulled tightly. I am a very proud LAZY natural, meaning, I typically do the least amount of work to take care of natural hair. My main goal is always healthy hair. I do not venture out and try a lot of different products, I know what works and usually stick with that, and if I try something new it’s usually in the same family. I stick to Leave in’s, oils, and cream. The LOC method guarantees healthy, hydrated hair.
But, recently some hair has begun sprouting in those thin spots! *Praise break*! So, I looked back over the past three years and I noticed a trend, I was STRESSED and it showed in my hair. In my last post, I discussed my bout of mild depression, and how I began to feel better with exercise. But, I had no clue the toll my hair would pay. Never the less, I am glad that the fight isn’t over and I AM NOT LOSING MY HAIR! This transition into new hair on my edges inspired me to help you with struggle edges, if you ever find yourself in my shoes, whether it is from stress, tight protective styles, weight loss surgery, etc. I am here for you:
Oil and Stimulation
I live by Olive Oil . It’s good for your hair and to eat! So, it’s a two for one special in my house, I purchase the biggest bottles usually from Costco. I always rub olive oil throughout my hair, but during these crucial times, I rub a good amount on my edges and give my scalp a gentle massage. Stimulation promotes growth by getting the blood circulation going! So, this should be a weekly practice all over your head.
Tune out the noise. Life can be a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes that roller coaster takes us on a drop we never expected. But, we have the power to limit stressers. Avoid bringing your work life into your home space, meditate and pray, pick up yoga , write it out. Whatever works, but we must release that negative energy!
I can not stress it enough how important it is to drink water. It’s great for your hair, skin, and health. God put it here for a reason, so I trust His judgement!
Protect your hair
When wearing a protective style, your main concern should always be your hair health. Before styling, properly wash, condition, and LOC it up. If braiding, be sure to tell your stylist to make sure not to pull on your edges, nape or scalp too tightly. Also avoid tight or low ponytails
Of course, you should always take precaution when it comes to hair health, but remember what goes on in the inside will always affect the outside! Don’t let stress claim your edges or time! Keep it cute!
We are often only taught about major depression. That identifiable grey cloud that follows you everywhere you go. You know the heavy feeling in your arms and legs. Or the dark not wanting to get out of bed or can’t face the world type. But there are several other types of depression some of them are more mild but they still have an affect on your life.
Mayo Clinic defines depression as: A mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.
About 2 percent of the American population has a form of depression that’s less severe than major depression, but is still very real. It’s called dysthymia.
Dysthymia is a type of depression that causes a low mood over a long period of time. It may last for a year or more. Most sufferers perform normally but just not optimally. Symptoms include sadness, trouble concentrating, fatigue, and changes in sleep habits and appetite.
This type of depression nearly ruined my relationship. I went through a spell of depression for about a year. But here’s the kicker – I had no idea I was depressed. The truth is, it just seeps in and becomes a part of you, before you even know it. I didn’t feel sad or blue all the time, I was not crying uncontrollably, I didn’t miss milestones, nor fight myself to get out of bed. So how could I know that I was depressed? It wasn’t until I was on the other side of it that I realized what I had been delivered from. I started to realize that I hadn’t been myself.
While I was going through it, of course I could not see the effect that depression had on my relationship. Neither of us had any idea that I was suffering from depression, yet I was not myself and in return we were not who we once were.
Depression has left some residual effects, with many pieces to clean up, but one thing that has helped me is exercising. I began exercising for weight loss and eventually I realized without losing a significant amount of weight, that I was feeling much better. Cardio always left me more energized and happier, but strength training is just a necessary evil (lol).
Although exercise was my catalyst to launch me out of the grey zone. Here are some other tips and ticks that can help to feed your soul:
Unplug– Sometimes you just have to take a some time and let yourself destress from everyone. As a mom this isn’t always easy but you have to put yourself first so you can come back whole for everyone instead of giving them your half ass self.
Day Dream– Allow yourself to remember the things you love and why. Imagine the possibilities of abundance God has for you. Create the biggest grandest vision of your life, and believe it’s available to you.
Forget Perfect- This alone is freeing. Done is so much better than perfect, as long as you do the best you can do, allow yourself to be proud of your accomplishments. Remind yourself of your own natural flawlessness and check out our post Born Flawless: Embrace Your Normal!
Call A Friend- You can’t underestimate the effect a sound voice will have on your soul. Call a good friend that you can have a laugh with.
Focus On A Hobby- Just the pleasure of doing something you love. Or learning something new will feed your body good vibes.
Meditate- Sometimes I just do a quick 5 minute guided meditation. I pull one up on YouTube and lay down and breath.
Get Moving- Even if you don’t have a gym membership, or have an hour to dedicate to a workout routine. Give yourself ten minutes and just dance or check out our post on 5 Yoga Poses To Get Your Day Going Right!
I’d stopped exercising for nearly a year and I noticed that I didn’t always feel as good, as I used too. But now that I am back at it, I realized the most important benefit of my exercise routine is my mental strength.
“And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.”
Genesis 1:11-13 ESV
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sped through the creation story, never recognizing the blessing in divine order. God created fruit beating trees, vegetation, and plants yielding seed .i.e “food” days before there was anything living to eat the food. Three days before creating man,on the 6th day, and two days before creating the animals on the fifth day.
On the third day God provided provision. Before there was even a need. He had not yet created Adam and Eve yet he made provisions for them.
This is exactly the way God makes provision for us! Well in advance of our need, God has already provided the “food”. But how often are we speeding by the creation because it seems insignificant?
Or maybe we have a picture of what said blessing should look like, so we can’t acknowledge the blessing when it shows up, because it’s not packaged the way we think it should be.
Well, we know what happened to the last “people” that rejected a blessing because it didn’t appear they way they thought it should right? Ok then, enough said.
The challenge for us is to see the provision and care, even when it is different than we expect, because God is God, his ways are not like our ways, and His thought are higher than our thoughts.
First we must have faith. When we put your faith in Christ, God commissions himself to protect, provide, and care for us.
When you put your faith in Christ, the bible tells us we will have what ever we so desire. God always provides for his children, though often it is not in the way we expect or hope.
So as I bring this message to a close I leave you with the following scripture
Matthew 7:7-8 NIV
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
I remember facing my first summer with natural hair. The thought of sweaty, nappy, unruly hair was the vision I had! I was so used to having relaxed hair, I had no idea what I was going to do. Little did I know that summer was my hair’s best growth season. All I had to do was follow a few easy tips, and this lazy natural was on her way to an easy growth spurt!
Now over the years I’ve added a few more, but here are my Summertime hair care tips to maximize your growth season!
1. Clean Time In Between Time: Keeping your hair clean, and moisturized. This is my number one hair tip. Even if you don’t wash it every week, do a quick Cowash in between your wash sessions.
2. Get Down To The Root Of It: Your hair grows directly from your scalp, so it is important to keep your scalp clean and healthy and free from debris. A healthy scalp is probably one of the most underrated necessities for healthy and or long hair.
3. Let Go Of What’s Not Serving You: Get a fresh trim. Even if you only trim once a year, make it a summer trim. While your hair is growing you don’t want it to be stunted by those dead ends. They are useless!
4. Wet Your Whistle: Drink plenty of water! Very often the summer is dry and hot, so you want to make sure you drink plenty of water. By staying hydrated you are also giving your hair hydration.
5. Aloe There Honey: Use humectants to increase the moisture in your hair. I love natural humectants such as aloe Vera juice, and honey. You can add the aloe vera juice to your spray bottle and spritz your hair at night before bed. Or add some honey to your conditioner. This will add softness and shine like you wouldn’t believe.
6. Soak & Seal: By soaking your hair with clear water and sealing with your favorite oil before swimming, you limit the amount of chlorine or salt water that your hair will absorb. Even though this is a no brainer, I’m just gonna say it anyway wash and condition after swimming alright.
7. Keep It Moving: Get out and get some sun. Go for a walk, or go to a fair or carnival and walk around. The circulation will increase blood flow and encourage healthy hair growth.
8. Style With Ease: Employ protect styles, and easy pony tails and buns. The less pulling the better. If you’re ever going to try a wash n go, this is the time! Layer that product on and let it ride!
9. Don’t Be A Hot Head: It’s impossible to keep your hair healthy if you are burning it out. This means the sun too. If you are going to be out in the hot sun for prolonged periods, make sure you cover your head or use a protective product. Just as you have to protect your skin, your hair needs protection as well.
10. Embrace The Ohm! : This is so underrated! Let the easy breezy summer feel sink in! Enjoy the warm weather. Go to the movies, the music festival, hit as many street fairs as you can fit in. Believe you me, you tresses feel the stresses!
These are our basic Summer time tips to make sure you have happy, healthy, fluffy summer hair! Now go forth and play and slay all day!
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
Song of Songs 4:7 NIV
First and foremost God loves you and
“You were born flawless”
Auntie Oprah likes to say babies come into the world trailing the breath of Angels. They know they are born flawless.
As we grow through life and experiences we get imprinted with images, encounters and other people’s beliefs and ideas which cause us to question our flawless-ness. These people who imprint their beliefs, and fears on our psyche, sometimes think they are doing us a favor.
I’m not just talking about tramatic or drastic things. Sometimes these are subtle consistant themes or words that we hear or are being told that slowly seep into our being. And before you know it, you and self doubt are old roommates!
Self doubt can hold you hostage. Usually there are two extremes. Either you exhaust your self trying to over compensate for your feelings of inadequacy. Or you become paralyzed with fear of failure and never step out on faith.
You end up standing by, questioning every thought and watching everyone else get what God has for them. Sometimes this can ever make you bitter, or worst yet, you become a hater! You hate on any and everything because you can’t find your joy. But all you have to do is realize that it’s you that holds your own self back!
How to have a totally awesome life 👉 ( old post same thoughts)
You need only to make a decision to seek your own happiness!
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown
Here are three steps to embracing your normal:
#1 The first step is to stop comparing yourself to others! Their normal is not your normal. Even identical twins are not completely the same. There is no other human being that has your specific gifts and talents. What God gave you is uniquely created to bring forth your purpose.
#2 Stop questioning yourself! You are more than enough. Don’t let that imposter syndrome make you believe that, what you have is not for you. Consider God’s grace. When you feel undeserving, that’s a reminder to be grateful! God’s Grace has shined upon you. Give God The Glory!
#3 Forget trying to be perfect! I’m not saying don’t do your best, but your best is as perfect as it gets. If you start taking the steps towards your dreams, have faith that God will magnify them. I remember as a young parent, I would have a certain vision in mind that I want to create for my children. I’d get as much as I could, but not the way I had envisioned. So in my mind, I would immediately start thinking of apologies for not being good enough. And before I could open my mouth to apologize, they were thanking me and showing me how grateful they were.
So remember short, tall or bald, you are flawless! Big belly, flat booty,skinny legs, big legs, you are still flawless! Walk in your beauty and embrace your normal!
Love others as you love yourself, but you must first love yourself!
Mrsphatandnaptural Turns 3 years old today! Whoo hoo! I may not be where some have risen to in 3 years, but I’m still here! Over these 3 short years I have found many new friends both online and in person. I’ve attended, held, and hosted many events. I’ve even traveled to 2 states that I had never been to for just to attend Plus Sized Fashion and or Natural Hair events. I’ve have also been featured on a few online sites, namely Essence.com.
Still I’d have to say the biggest “get” from the last 3 years of blogging has to be tapping into a supportive sisterhood that I didn’t even realize existed. They are an encouraging, loving, creative bastion of knowledge and experiences that I can’t seem to go a day without…( okay so I’m a social media junkie) lol. That aside I love being apart of this collective!
As I move forward with Mrsphatandnaptural some things will change. In the spirit of serving those who need what I’m cooking up, I will commit to staying honest, current, and open to God using me. I will continue to give you all the tips tricks and styles of the latest conversation. I will do the product reviews and include you into my battle with this belly! But I will also share with you my love for God and all things good for your soul!
Remember to celebrate yourself! And just know God doesn’t make any mistakes, and that includes you!
Starting your day off with a good positive vibe can change the entire trajectory of your day. Having a clear mind and a positive outlook will allow you to make better more informed decisions. Even when faced with difficult tasks, your reaction will be different , because you see things from a place of possibility and not defeat.
There are many stretches that will help you start the day and make you feel better. It is best to modify stretches until you are capable of performing each stretch without straining. I do each of these stretches for 30 seconds to a minute, and add in other stretches to get a full ten minutes of stretching.
1. Child’s pose:
This stretch helps relieve tension in the shoulders, back, and chest. It is noted that doing this stretch will help with lower back pain and is recommended for dealing with dizziness and/or fatigue.
2. The Cat-Cow pose:
This stretch duo is known to improve posture, balance, coordination. They stretch the back, neck, hips, and abdomen. Some suggest it creates emotional balance as well as relieve stress.
3. Corpse pose:
This is more of a mental stretch. By lying still with your body slightly stretched out you are lowering your blood pressure by relaxing the body. In this position your brain is calm and this is known to help combat fatigue, headaches, and insomnia.
4. Extended Triangle Pose:
This is a good hamstring stretch, especially before doing any strength exercising, or intense walking and/or jogging. This stretch also helps stretch the hips, groins, and chest. Doing this daily can help with lower back pain and sluggish digestion.
5. Legs up the wall pose:
This may be my favorite way to relieve stress. This stretches your legs, lower back, and pelvic floor. Doing this stretch will help increase circulation because your heart does not work as hard. This will also soothe swollen feet, ankles, and cramped legs.
There is no medical fact that states stretching will keep depression or stress away, but stretching will help you feel better physically and mentally, if done properly. Just like going to the bathroom in the morning, you have to make this part of you life. You can even do these before you get out of the bed! You know me, easy peezy! 😍 Give yourself 10 minutes of mental health time. Believe me it will pay off big!
Have you ever tried yoga? Let me know what’s your favorite stretches?
We have all heard that being healthy has nothing to do with your weight. Even though the societal view is that fatter woman are undesirable and unhealthy. It’s all about the narrative that you allow to replay in your head…but I digress. I’ll save that conversation for another time. However some of us have to fight our fat on a daily basis. Between genetics, medical conditions, and lifestyle, it’s just not easy to be ” thin” or a healthy weight ( whatever that is for you) with out working at it. Try not to worry so much about having a flat tummy as having a healthy life. Aside from getting a surgery, or taking a prescription medicine, I will always have to employ tools to help me stay on track.
There will be set backs and fall offs, but always remember with health, every effort is a good effort! I’ve been on a weight yo-yo for majority of my life, (but I wish I was as fat as I was when I thought I was too fat!). It has not been easy to maintain the best healthy lifestyle. It’ so easy to fall into a pattern of not counting calories or exercising. My biggest challenge of all is of course not eating bad. But my body tells me she’s wants a clean detox. So I get back at it.
Here are my 5 ways that I get back in the fight with this fat!
1. Count those calories!
I use My Fitness Pal. It is really simple to set up an account with My Fitness Pal if you haven’t already done so! There is no pressure with the app, it’s all self-discipline. I get to keep track of my current weight and goal weight. By going day by day tracking my food and exercise practice (and the lack of exercise) My Fitness Pal then gives me an estimated number that I can weigh in a certain number of weeks if I maintain my day (good or bad). It’s good motivation.
2. Measure your food!
This is important to be able to keep track of your calories easily. If you don’t have a scale for food, buy one. I also use my measuring cup to measure food!
3. Don’t starve!
If you feel hungry, eat! There are good carbs out there! Instead of an unhealthy snack grab some nuts, a fruit, or even a baked sweet potato! Whatever you enjoy, keep track in your food diary.
4. Get moving! The more you move, the more calories you burn. Aim for at least 30 mins a day of cardio and strength training, and aim to walk around more. If you don’t join a gym you can exercise right at home using www.pinterest.com for work out ideas.
5. Invest in health!
Living a healthy lifestyle takes effort, but it is worth it. Purchase some hand weights and a few different exercise equipment for home such as a jump rope, resistance bands, ankle weights, kettlebell, etc. (even if you are a gym rat, keep equipment in the house.) You can even purchase bigger equipment such as a stationary bike, treadmill, elliptical, etc., on www.craigslist.org if you rather get it at a cheaper price!
Remember don’t let the media or scale define you. You must love yourself at every stage of your life. Loving yourself means do not be so hard or yourself. There is a difference between discipline and punishment. And keeping a healthy body is the ultimate form of love.
Most importantly remember to rest. You burn calories in your sleep, but most importantly, you cannot run on fumes. Living a healthy lifestyle requires all of you, mentally, emotionally, and physically. It will be frustrating some days, and stagnant too. But keeping that body healthy is the main goal.