Category: mrsphatandnaptural

Born Flawless : Embrace Your Normal

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

First and foremost God loves you and

“You were born flawless”

Auntie Oprah likes to say babies come into the world trailing the breath of Angels. They know they are born flawless.

As we grow through life and experiences we get imprinted with images, encounters and other people’s  beliefs and  ideas which cause us to question our flawless-ness. These people who imprint their beliefs, and fears on our psyche, sometimes think they are doing us a favor.

I’m not just talking about tramatic or drastic things. Sometimes these are subtle consistant themes or words that we hear or are being told that slowly seep into our being. And before you know it, you and self doubt are old roommates!

Self doubt can hold you hostage. Usually there are two extremes. Either you exhaust your self trying to over compensate for your feelings of inadequacy. Or you become paralyzed with fear of failure and never step out on faith.

You end up standing by, questioning every thought and watching everyone else get what God has for them. Sometimes this can ever make you bitter, or worst yet, you become a hater! You hate on any and everything because you can’t find your joy. But all you have to do is realize that it’s you that holds your own self back!

How to have a totally awesome life 👉 ( old post same thoughts)

You need only to make a decision to seek your own happiness!

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown

Here are three steps to embracing your normal:

#1 The first step is to stop comparing yourself to others! Their normal is not your normal. Even identical twins are not completely the same. There is no other human being that has your specific gifts and talents. What God gave you is uniquely created to bring forth your purpose.

#2 Stop questioning yourself!  You are more than enough. Don’t let that imposter syndrome make you believe that,  what you have is not for you. Consider God’s grace. When you feel undeserving, that’s a reminder to be grateful! God’s Grace has shined upon you. Give God The Glory!

#3 Forget trying to be perfect! I’m not saying don’t do your best, but your best is as perfect as it gets. If you start taking the steps towards your dreams, have faith that God will magnify them. I remember as a young parent, I would have a certain vision in mind that I want to create for my children.  I’d  get as much as I could, but not the way I had envisioned. So in my mind,  I would immediately start thinking of apologies for not being good enough. And before I could open my mouth to apologize, they were thanking me and showing me how grateful they were.

So remember short, tall or bald, you are flawless! Big belly, flat booty,skinny legs, big legs, you are still flawless! Walk in your beauty and embrace your normal!

 

Love others as you love yourself, but you must first love yourself!

 

Let’s Celebrate Mrsphatandnaptural Turns 3!

Mrsphatandnaptural Turns 3 years old today! Whoo hoo! I may not be where some have risen to in 3 years, but I’m still here! Over these 3 short years I have found many new friends both online and in person. I’ve attended, held, and hosted many events. I’ve even traveled to 2 states that I had never been to for just to attend Plus Sized Fashion and or Natural Hair events. I’ve have also been featured on a few online sites, namely Essence.com.

Still I’d have to say the biggest “get” from the last 3 years of blogging has to be tapping into a supportive sisterhood that I didn’t even realize existed. They are an encouraging, loving, creative bastion of knowledge and experiences that I can’t seem to go a day without…( okay so I’m a social media junkie) lol. That aside I love being apart of this collective!

 

As I move forward with Mrsphatandnaptural some things will change. In the spirit of serving those who need what I’m cooking up, I will commit to staying honest, current, and open to God using me. I will continue to give you all the tips tricks and styles of the latest conversation. I will do the product reviews and include you into my battle with this belly! But I will also share with you my love for God and all things good for your soul!
Remember to celebrate yourself! And just know God doesn’t make any mistakes, and that includes you!

5 Yoga Poses To Start Your Day Off Right!

Starting your day off with a good positive vibe can change the entire trajectory of your day. Having a clear mind and a positive outlook will allow you to make better more informed decisions. Even when faced with difficult tasks, your reaction will be different , because you see things from a place of possibility and not defeat.

There are many stretches that will help you start the day and make you feel better. It is best to modify stretches until you are capable of performing each stretch without straining. I do each of these stretches for 30 seconds to a minute, and add in other stretches to get a full ten minutes of stretching.

1. Child’s pose:
This stretch helps relieve tension in the shoulders, back, and chest. It is noted that doing this stretch will help with lower back pain and is recommended for dealing with dizziness and/or fatigue.

Day 8 of the #blossomingyogichallenge hosted by @annnnnamaste aka @annnnnamou. Tapas, austerity, or discipline is the theme today, the pose #balasana aka child's pose. I am a go-go-go-er. Have been since childhood. I remember when I was 20sh and was working 2 jobs and I was taking 21 units in college, sleeping only 3-4 hours a night my mother said to me "Thea you're not wonder woman, and you don't have to be." I responded "You don't know I could be." Of course this was before Patty Jenkins version of Wonder Woman. My mother was right I wasn't an Amazonian nor a demigod. At that time I had a goal and I was working hard toward the goal which required me to play catchup in school so I could advance, I wound up really sick. l had pushed myself too far. I had no choice but to slow down. In American society we honor being busy, stopping, resting and just being is looked down upon. My tendency to go makes me a great #yogapreneur, but my hard learned ability to slow down makes me a better human. Also, a human that has vitality and quality of life. If I push to hard, I burn out. It takes work. Slowing down for me is discipline. I know for some others getting going, and follow through is where their discipline lies. It can be hard being a human. Join the challenge by taking a photo and tag @amandapomerantz @annnnnamaste. Use hashtags #blossomingyogichallenge #seatoftheteacher #embodyyogateachertraining . #tapas #passion #love #childpose #sitbackandrelax #keepitgoing #justbreathe #niyamas #yogafun #yogagram #yogaeverydamnday #yogaeverywhere #feelgoodunderyourownskin #wonderwoman #agni #selfdiscipline #yogaforall #yogaheals #amazonian #wonderwoman #chilllady #demigod #greekphilosophy

A post shared by Thea (@theapueschelofficial) on

2. The Cat-Cow pose:
This stretch duo is known to improve posture, balance, coordination. They stretch the back, neck, hips, and abdomen. Some suggest it creates emotional balance as well as relieve stress.

3. Corpse pose:
This is more of a mental stretch. By lying still with your body slightly stretched out you are lowering your blood pressure by relaxing the body. In this position your brain is calm and this is known to help combat fatigue, headaches, and insomnia.

06/19/17 – Bliss. #yoga #yogaeverydamnday #corpsepose #savasana #om #namaste #curvyyoga #curvyyogi

A post shared by laura (@tonguesintrees) on

4. Extended Triangle Pose:
This is a good hamstring stretch, especially before doing any strength exercising, or intense walking and/or jogging. This stretch also helps stretch the hips, groins, and chest. Doing this daily can help with lower back pain and sluggish digestion.

Thanks again to all who showed up at the @plannedparenthood fundraiser yesterday! It was great to connect and share individual experiences of the help that PP has offered us throughout our growing experiences. Even though there might be controversial issues, there is still way more positive and help that this organization provides for those of limited or no health insurance. I've morally supported them throughout my life even though I hadn't stepped foot into and actual building till this past December. I felt way more comfortable there than in any doctors office, quick and easy with no judgement. I hope they will continue to persevere through this administration in the coming years. Also congrats to Zuky R. on winning the @liforme giveaway mat! I will contact you with the email provided through eventbrite! Thank you to those who entered the giveaway! Top by @rainbeaucurves Leggings by @k.deer Mat by @liforme

A post shared by Valerie Sagun (@biggalyoga) on

5. Legs up the wall pose:
This may be my favorite way to relieve stress. This stretches your legs, lower back, and pelvic floor. Doing this stretch will help increase circulation because your heart does not work as hard. This will also soothe swollen feet, ankles, and cramped legs.

There is no medical fact that states stretching will keep depression or stress away, but stretching will help you feel better physically and mentally, if done properly. Just like going to the bathroom in the morning, you have to make this part of you life. You can even do these before you get out of the bed! You know me, easy peezy! 😍 Give yourself 10 minutes of mental health time. Believe me it will pay off big!

Have you ever tried yoga? Let me know what’s your favorite stretches?

As always, Peace & Love

The Fit Phatty

Fit Phatty: 5 Tips To A Healthier You

We have all heard that being healthy has nothing to do with your weight. Even though the societal view is that fatter woman are undesirable and unhealthy. It’s all about the narrative that you allow to replay in your head…but I digress. I’ll save that conversation for another time. However some of us have to fight our fat on a daily basis. Between genetics, medical conditions, and lifestyle, it’s just not easy to be ” thin” or a healthy weight ( whatever that is for you) with out working at it. Try not to worry so much about having a flat tummy as having a healthy life. Aside from getting a surgery, or taking a prescription medicine, I will always have to employ tools to help me stay on track.

There will be set backs and fall offs, but always remember with health, every effort is a good effort! I’ve been on a weight yo-yo for majority of my life, (but I wish I was as fat as I was when I thought I was too fat!). It has not been easy to maintain the best healthy lifestyle. It’ so easy to fall into a pattern of not counting calories or exercising.  My biggest challenge of all is of course not eating bad. But my body tells me she’s wants a clean detox.  So I get back at it.

Here are my 5 ways that I get back in the fight with this fat!

1. Count those calories!
I use My Fitness Pal. It is really simple to set up an account with My Fitness Pal if you haven’t already done so! There is no pressure with the app, it’s all self-discipline. I get to keep track of my current weight and goal weight. By going day by day tracking my food and exercise practice (and the lack of exercise) My Fitness Pal then gives me an estimated number that I can weigh in a certain number of weeks if I maintain my day (good or bad). It’s good motivation.

2. Measure your food!
This is important to be able to keep track of your calories easily. If you don’t have a scale for food, buy one. I also use my measuring cup to measure food!
3. Don’t starve!

If you feel hungry, eat! There are good carbs out there! Instead of an unhealthy snack grab some nuts, a fruit, or even a baked sweet potato! Whatever you enjoy, keep track in your food diary.

 

4. Get moving! The more you move, the more calories you burn. Aim for at least 30 mins a day of cardio and strength training, and aim to walk around more. If you don’t join a gym you can exercise right at home using www.pinterest.com for work out ideas.

#Mood for the week! 🙌🏽Let's go!!!! #rp @abraham_mcdonald

A post shared by niecynash1 (@niecynash1) on

5. Invest in health!
Living a healthy lifestyle takes effort, but it is worth it. Purchase some hand weights and a few different exercise equipment for home such as a jump rope, resistance bands, ankle weights, kettlebell, etc. (even if you are a gym rat, keep equipment in the house.) You can even purchase bigger equipment such as a stationary bike, treadmill, elliptical, etc., on www.craigslist.org if you rather get it at a cheaper price!

Remember don’t  let the media or scale define you. You must love yourself at every stage of your life. Loving yourself means do not be so hard or yourself. There is a difference between discipline and punishment. And keeping a healthy body is the ultimate form of love.
Most importantly remember to rest. You burn calories in your sleep, but most importantly, you cannot run on fumes. Living a healthy lifestyle requires all of you, mentally, emotionally, and physically. It will be frustrating some days, and stagnant too. But keeping that body healthy is the main goal.

You rarely see bodies in this position, let alone a body that looks like mine. We're conditioned to think about how we look ALL the time, especially when taking photos. Truth is, our bodies fluctuate through the day & we'll look different in different lighting and different angles. It's SO draining trying to slim down a double chin, suck in your stomach or position your arms so they look smoother and slimmer. Photos are supposed to capture & to create a memory. They aren't supposed to be perfect and curated all the time. When I look back at this photo I'll remember feeling confident and worthy and loved. I'll remember feeling emotionally strong but vulnerable enough to allow my insecurities to fuel me. I'll also remember a body that has been able to carry me through the good times and the bad times, through the trauma & through therapy. A body that has protected me from others, but that has also protected me from myself. A body thats maybe "too much" or "too large" but a body that houses courage, kindness and love. And maybe all of those things are so strong and powerful that a bigger vessel is needed to carry them 💗 #iamenough

A post shared by graciefrancesca.com (@gracefvictory) on

Remember grab that water and cheers to health!

5 Ways To Speak Life Into Your New Year

As we left 2016, I couldn’t help but notice all of the references, posts, and comments on how bad the year was for a lot of people. I even saw some uber talented individuals made an actual horror movie trailer of all the headlines. It was hilarious! However this only further proves my point that so many people are feeling dispaire. To use the words of our current FLOTUS ” We are feeling what not having hope feels like” . But please let me encourage you don’t get “Trumped Up”. There is always hope. As long as we are here among the living, it is our duty to make everyday the best day, and be grateful for the opportunity to do so.

I’m not saying we won’t have bad days. I’m just saying don’t stay in the dark places too long! As for me, I am claiming 2017 the year I live with purpose. I believe in my magic! Are you with me?

Here are five ways you can speak life into your new year!

1. Use Your Words Wisely 

 

You become what you say about yourself. So keep it positive. This is something we’ve all heard all our lives. You know, if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all. Even in scripture ” For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of”. So fill your heart with good words. Sometimes I print my favorite quotes and hang them in places where I can see them when I need encouragement. I have them in my car, around my house, and oh boy do I have them around my office at work. Lol that’s a whole other story 😁. I also keep my vision board posted by my mirror and  it is my screen saver on my phone. It reminds me to keep the good vibes.

2. Hold Your Thoughts Captive

Be intentional with your thoughts. I’ll be the first one to say, this is hard! But it’s so necessary. You can’t let the negative talk begin. When you feel the negatity taking over, redirect your thoughts. If you like music, this is a perfect time to create a playlist. Play those songs when you know you need a pick me up. If you have a favorite motivational speaker or podcast hit play and get it into your head. Again the quotes, and words of affirmation come in handy here as well. I once had a difficult coworker that I had to deal with everyday. Someone gave me a workplace prayer, which I hung on the wall right behind my monitor, so I read it all day everyday. It helped me to be mindful of my reactions to her aggressive behavior.  Without my reaction she had no fuel. Eventually she stopped her behavior with me and moved on to another coworker which got her fired.

3. Surround Yourself With Good People 

Even if the people around you don’t understand what you are trying to do, as long as the don’t try to project their  fears on you, they are good people. Sometimes people are so use to being negative, and gossiping, and talking bad about people that they don’t see anything wrong with it. Stay away from this! My dad use to say, if you bring a bone you’ll carry a bone. In other words the same person who’s talking negatively with you will do the same about you.

4. Believe You Are Great

Like Beyoncé said,” I’m feeling myself ” sometimes you just have to feel you own self! BT dubs have you seen Insecure AF on HBO,? I love the way Issa raps to herself in the mirror! Lol I’m not saying you have to break out your rhyme book, but you can stand in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful, smart, and wonderful you are. I saw an old clip of Jay Z on Hot 97,  saying how his uncle told him he’d never sell a million records, and he didn’t believe him. He knew he’d sell a million records and that’s all that mattered.

5. Do Your Best

This one doesn’t take much explaining.Go the extra mile! Work at your best, and you’ll yeild the best results.

Just be dope!

On that note **drops mic**

5 ways to speak life into your new year

 

Hey Girl! Believe In Your Magic

Black girls are lit

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season upon us, we have to be careful to make time to keep ourselves spiritual strong.  Sometimes we women loose ourselves trying to meet all the needs of those around us. We serve our husbands, children, bosses, and communities and we forget or are just too tired to serve ourselves. I know for me, doing things for myself makes me feel a little guilty at times. But when the guilt starts to seep in, I just remember who I am.  I remember that I can do anything and everything I decide to do. My grandmother use to say ” you just have to set your mind to it”

You do know you are what dreams are made of right? You are magic! You have that thing that only you have that makes you special! That’s your magic! You can’t let fear, doubt, guilt, are anything else take your magic.

I love words of affirmation, so when I found this poem It reminded  me of the beauty I posses. Everyone should feel this way about themselves.

Black girls are lit

My Pledge of Allegiance to Me
Written by Letitia L. Hodge
There’s more to me than the human eye can see.
I’m a woman of purpose and destiny.
A perfect design, I’m special and unique.
I won’t be identified by the parts that make
up my physique.

Black girls are lit
My beauty is not defined by my skin or my hair
and my soul has more value than
the clothes that I wear.
I’m not a symbol of pleasure or sex appeal;
I have the natural ability to comfort
and the power to heal.
When God made me, He created a gem
because He fashioned me in the likeness of Him.
I refuse to do anything that will put God to shame.
I deserve to be treated with reverence
and called by my name.

Black girls are lit
I can’t be purchased or sold at any price
because I’ve already been bought and paid
for by the precious blood of Christ!
I praise You because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made.
(Psalm 139:14)

Black girls are lit

Ya feel me? Better yet do you feel yourself? Stay in your magic and Be blessed💋

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself: I’m Not A Blogger, I’m A Resource

What’s good my good people? It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. It’s been 7 weeks, and in blog life that like 2 years lol. Allow my to reintroduce myself.

My name is Uhura. I am the founder of Mrsphatandnaptural, and I’m not a blogger. I’m a resource.

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself
Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself

My hiatus started with me trying to find my way through mourning the loss of a good friend. I told myself I needed to take some time to deal with what I was feeling. The days rolled into weeks and here we are! During these weeks I had to reevaluate my direction and revisit my motivation for starting this platform.

Here’s my why: Originally the idea started out of my frustration in trying to find a dress for a friend’s wedding.I felt as if there were limited options for me. Most of the dresses weren’t flattering, and even fewer were fashionably up to date. Everything I found made me feel older, bigger, or out of fashion. I was so discouraged by the process that I ended up not going to the wedding. When I began my transition to natural hair, I struggled with finding the right products, routine, and regime to get my hair healthy and fit for public viewing. I knew I had to do something for other women struggling with these issues.

I'm Not A Blogger

I'm Not A Blogger image

I'm A Resource
I’m A Resource

 

It is God’s will I have a blog. My objective is first and foremost to honor my purpose and spread the word of God’s Love. Second is combination showcase and information platform for my Sisters. This has been such a blessing to me, I have virtually and physically meet so many people whom have enriched my life. My prayer is that I have done the same for someone else. I hope you love the ride as much as I do. Thank you for being with me.

Be Blessed

3 Things I Forgive My Mother For

Letter To My MotherWhen I 6 months and my brother was 18 months, sole custody of my brother and I was given to my father. For most of my childhood I resented my mom for not “fighting” for us. I can remember having an empty feeling whenever teachers or other moms would make a references like “ make sure you tell your mom” or “did you ask your mother”. I remember the dread of having to explain that I lived with my dad, and there was no “woman” in our house.

She passed away suddenly from an asthma attack never reaching the age I am now. But as I think back over my life I realize, somehow she rarely missed a milestone in my life. My birthdays, graduations, and even the birth of my first son. It was like she had an internal connection to me.

As Mothers Day approaches I can’t help but think of how much I wish I could talk to her and reconcile my feelings with her. So, this post is dedicated to my beautiful mother Ilona Michele Johnson. If she were here I’d tell her:

Firstly, I forgive you for your absence. Because in your absence I was able to create a beautiful fantasy of womanhood. Not having you there to show me, gave me the chance to pull the best attributes from every woman I saw and encountered. It made me fascinated with hair and clothes, and all thing womanly.

Secondly, I forgive you for not having your love. Because I never knew that you loved me, it makes me shower my children and grandchildren with love. With out question they know I love them. I have been a mom longer than I’ve been anything else in my life, and I intentionally give them affection.

Lastly I forgive you for your illness. I now know why you were different than other moms. I know why you had difficulty dealing with the everyday trials of life. I know you didn’t choose to be ill, but being aware of your illness makes me consciousness of my mental state.

There are so many things that I’d love to say to her, but all in all I’d thank her for giving me life. I’d thank her for my name, because the uniqueness made me stand out. I’d thank her for exposing me to my culture through her Pan-Africanism. I’d thank her for giving me a sense of self worth from an early age. I’d thank her for creating me through her direct and indirect actions. I’d let her know, everything I am I owe to her. With this I would give her a kiss and tell her I love her.

Happy Mother Day in Heaven Mom

40 Year Old Makeup Rookie: Makeup Rookie Makeup Tips

Okay so I’m not forty anymore, but none the less I am a makeup rookie. As with many other things my face isn’t as tight and bright as it use to be. In my twenties and thirties my makeup regimen consisted of a clean face, some eyeliner, and some lip gloss! But as I am getting older and entering into a new phase in my life, I find myself wanting a little more! I’ve always worn special occasion makeup, but I never made it part of my everyday life. Besides I wasn’t any good at applying it, so I just left it alone.

Fast forward to right around last Thanksgiving, for the first time ever I went and sat at the Mac counter and asked them to give me a “face”. Now unlike past trips to the counter, I wanted this one to be one that I could duplicate on my own. So that meant, no contouring, now brows, and not too many steps. I explained to the lady that I didn’t want to look pasty, and I wanted it too look natural. It need not take up anymore of my precious morning minutes! To my delight she did it!

And it’s quick and easy! You can’t mess this up!

40 year old makeup rookie tips

First, I use the Mac Prep & Prime fix spray as the base. It acts as a moisturizer, and it has some shimmering things in it! It’s just the thing to add some sparkle to your morning!

40 year old makeup tips

Second, I use the Mac Lightful C tinted Moisturizer. Like I said, no contouring, or clowning, very little blending need. But you get great coverage, and it doesn’t settle into the creases and lines of my 40 plus face!

40 year old makeup tips

Next I prep my lashes with the Mac false lash primer- I’m getting use to this. I love the results, but it does make my lashes feel stiff. But, my husband has been looking into my big eyes for years and when ever I wear this primer he reminds my how much he loves my eyes! #itsawinner

40 year old makeup tips

Then I do my lips. I cover my entire lip with the pencil first, then I apply the All Fired Up lipstick. I love lippies, so this is probably the easiest part for me. I use the beet liner with reds and pinks, so the all fired up gets some extra heat from the beet liner,lol.

40 year old makeup tips

40 year old makeup tips

 

 

Here are the rookie makeup  tips she gave me:

  • Stick with a tinted moisturizer instead of trying to figure out layering and contouring. It gives just the right amount of coverage for my freckles, and spots, but it doesn’t look pasty! As I said before, powders can settle into your lines and make you look older. And for once in my life the color matches my “waffle colored skin” perfectly!
  • Use a primer under my mascara to make my lashes look longer. Yeah cause I can’t do the falselys either. This one goes on white, I let it dry while I put on my tinted moisturizer.
  • Fill in my entire lip with the lip pencil before applying my lipstick. This makes the color last longer. Who knew? I’m truly from the eighties so I only used my lip pencil on the edges of my lips. I thought lip liner was only a liner!
  • Use a translucent powder to help add glow, and set the makeup. Again who knew, lol!

She did it in a little under 5 minutes, so you know I was sold! As I was leaving I saw a young lady buying the finishing powder that I had, and her skin looked radiant! I asked her what she used and she told me about the “fix” spray so I bought that too. I use it under the tinted moisturizer.

From start to finish, in less than 15 minutes I put my new face on! 40 year old Mak tips